Hi, beans...
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Active_Ordinary
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 04
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you know there are exactly 239 beans in Irish stew?

Any more and it would be two farty...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 781
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/marty___mcfly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 08
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...

It was a pinto.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 09
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
This morning, my wife was grinding coffee beans and suddenly said, โ€œWeโ€™re through.โ€

It was grounds for divorce.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zedhead0628
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 06
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
God blessed my beans and meat

It's spirit-chilli ready to eat

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hotsprings1234
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Coffee beans must have the lowest self-esteem...

Theyโ€™re always getting roasted!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jlionbad
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 17
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Be there or bean square
๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/moolie-sheep
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 05
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you get when you eat a peanut butter & baked bean sandwich?

A fart that sticks to the roof of your butt.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bad11ama
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Bill, the weatherman: โ€œTodayโ€™s weather forecast will be two beans in a tomato, meat sauce.โ€

Anchor: Bill, what on earth are you talking about?

Bill: Itโ€™ll be a little chili.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MBisme
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 16
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call Mexican jumping beans with a cold?

Coffee beans.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NnyBees
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 03
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
This year for Valentine's day I gave people a can of root beer and a can of refried beans.

Told them to have a rootin' tootin' Valentine's day.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/manuel_f_p
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 14
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
At the end of the day we're all human beans

And together, we will rice!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BlueMagnet27
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 20
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You need exactly 239 beans to make Irish soup because if you add one more it becomes too farty.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 211
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bobturkeyisaturkey
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Mr. Lima Bean
๐Ÿ‘︎ 33
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ChronicallySad
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
People who eat beans everyday,

Have a higher risk of having a fart attack

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Escalade1414
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

Iโ€™ve never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madeinbuffalo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more and it'll be too-farty

๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BluePantera
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
bean.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 65
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WrongSmokes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
At the end of the day, weโ€™re all Human Beans.

And together, we will rice.

Lettuce Pray.

Ramen.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/letsgomina
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Tik tok bean o clock
๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hamid1103
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why should you insult your coffee beans before brewing them?

To make sure they are well roasted.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Aggressive_Pear
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Easier than stealing a bean from a beanie baby
๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NeoMarethyu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Bean bag chair
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SwiftYokai
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Garbanzo bean kidding me
๐Ÿ‘︎ 26
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sonofthesolstice
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So my daughter was eating leftover baked beans for lunch, and she said really likes them...

I told she could be my Beanie Baby!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gladmaximus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Bean nice
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Kremit321
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Me making dinner: How much green beans should I make? Two cans?

Or I can try to make parrots instead...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theblumkin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You got Bean boozled!
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Guille_641
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Coffee isn't electrically conductive in bean form.

But it is when it's ground.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JoeFas
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Baked beans and egg salad:

The original reason why motorcycles don't have doors.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jan_Tik
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How many beans are in a can?

239, one more and youโ€™d be too farty

Credit: u/theboomerman and where ever he got it from

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nakedurlrobot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was rubbing a lamp containing fermented soya beans and suddenly a mythical creature popped up and started making sexist remarks against women.

Miso-Genie.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sodomicity
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call it when you throw lima beans into a river?

A podcast

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Elruler22
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HikerSethT
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
BIG BEANS [OC]
๐Ÿ‘︎ 29
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Candlefrog_king
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

Chickpeas are only half awful, garbanzo beans are falafel.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thevectorvictor
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on me before.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/leomff
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why are there only 239 beans in a can of beans?

In thick Irish accent

Because if there were one more itโ€™d be too farty

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chuckycastle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why are there only 239 beans in a can?

If thereโ€™s one more, it would be too farty.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 66
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CanIAm
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Me and the boys out at 3am looking for BEANS
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nedegame
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Coffee Beans are bad parents. Their kids are always grounded.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 176
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MathGuyTony
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I think I put too many baked beans in my eyes

It was a poor decision, in Heinz sight.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GaryTheKnight
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Do you know what you call a yellow bean?

A beannana

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/YeetMyMeat308
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend was making some beans in tomato sauce for dinner and she spilled some

then she giggled and said โ€œwe canโ€™t eat those now, theyโ€™ve bean on the floorโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mo4na
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If you work for Starbucks, and are caught stealing beans...

It's grounds for dismissal.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 130
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ponderingfox
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Cool beans
๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/andienchancer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™s the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?

I would never pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrCOUNTCUPCAKE
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
u/mrstickman reviews vanilla bean ice cream old.reddit.com/r/ReviewsOโ€ฆ
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Send_me_Your_Code
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you know there is a limit of 239 beans in a can of beans?

Adding 1 more would make it 2 farty

๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/deebo305
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you know that theres 239 beans in a can of beans?

If there was one more it would be two-farty

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tinyreese
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Beans, beans theyโ€™re good for your heart,

The more you eat...wait, how did it start?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VeryLastBison
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why are there only 287 beans in a can?

If there were 288, it would be two gross.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FroYo10101
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do Russians say to people who eat too many beans?

Are you done Putin

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CryptoReaper5
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My attempt at juggling 3 cans of beans resulted in a messy kitchen,

in Heinz sight, it was a bad idea.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 31
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/adc2502
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend came over and asked what i was writing and i spilled the beans...

I've got a bean and paper salad now

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DragonFireKitty
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why does Irish bean soup have 239 beans?

1 more & it'd be 'too farty'

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cryptozoophagist
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Bean
๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/boider223
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a bean thatโ€™s not cool anymore?

A has-bean

๐Ÿ‘︎ 36
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zubat500
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I mentioned intense circle jerk Tuesdays and beans earlier
๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/vaginakween68
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a vampire that eats lots of beans?

Count Fartula

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Augmented_Lawyer
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 31 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Two baked beans were travelling around Australia, do you know where they ended up?

In cairns

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ImElyk
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
"I say ole bean, java pen?" "Why yes, I do what Sumatra with yours? "Cool beans mines not too perky."
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MilPens
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What happened to the coffee bean when he was bad?

He got grounded

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Degtyrev
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What kind of beans are in God's burrito?

Holy Frijoles!

(PS this is original as far as I can tell, so proud yuk yuk)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/aviddd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
the bean
๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/baudia
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?

Soy Bean

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/anvil-14
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a coffee bean security guard?

A grounds-keeper

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Degtyrev
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
cool beans
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/OpenSourcePro
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Bean
๐Ÿ‘︎ 240
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mangopojke
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did one bean say to the other bean?

Hold me close, Iโ€™m a little bit chili.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/impressiver
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did one bean dude say to another bean dude?

Howโ€™ve you bean,dude!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mexicantrombone
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Do you know why the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more would be too-farty

๐Ÿ‘︎ 104
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MizzElissa
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call beans that are seasoned with marijuana?

Baked beans.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/holy_mountain_666
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
bean a long time
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/yehogol131
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $300 to have a Garbanzo Bean on my face

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thehybridview
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

Iโ€™ve never payed $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShtyBill
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dad and his beans.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Starfucks13
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I sent my brother navy beans, because he's in the Navy

No. That's the whole joke. I'm just waiting til he receives the package now

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ablette531
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.

Only when it's ground.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MelkorHimself
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call Muhammad Ali after he eats a can of beans?

Gaseous Clay

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/metalismetal5
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
From my daughter: "Why do beans fly south for the winter?"

".. because they don't want to be chili!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wizard7926
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I've been living on cans of baked beans for a week now.

I don't know how they've supported my weight.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TommehBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I prefer my beans to be 239 beans.

Any more and theyโ€™d be too-farty. This is a personal favorite of my grandpa, by the way.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 29
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Skiftonoid
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why does 239 bean chili only have 239 beans?

Because if it had one more it would be too farty.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/openEnmity
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I told President Trump I wouldn't feed him any more beans.

Because he's always Putin.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bonanza86
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Remember that time it rained canned beans everywhere?

Chiliest day of the year.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/G1LG4M3SHHH
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Don't cheat on your partner with coffee beans

They could be used as grounds for divorce

๐Ÿ‘︎ 42
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/souffle-etc
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/OVdose
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
At the end of the day, we are all just human beans.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/710LivingLegend
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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