Jack: How’s it going? Beans: Pretty good

Jack and the beans talk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnr_jinx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Mr. Bean said it best

when he said...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teeim
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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2 female beans are in love.

Lesbeans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/niiigggaaa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InnocuousDaisy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Okay guys. Who spilled the bean?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchHeIs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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I just spilt baked beans everywhere.

In Heinz-sight, that was a bad idea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salt_E_Plum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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What did the black bean say to the white bean?

"Hey dude, how've you bean?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moralTortilla
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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its all beans????
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Always has bean.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asif366
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Why does my son grow like a bean?

Because he edamame.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirFrankPork
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Why did the Irishman make beans with 239 beans?

Cause 1 more would be 240 (read in an Irish accent, sounds like too farty)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frijolita_bonita
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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How many beans do you need to make the perfect bean soup?

239.

Because one more would be too farty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crash_86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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what do you get when you cross a swamp monster with a bean?

The creature from the black legume!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/psychodelicasies
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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What kind of beans do cannibals eat?

Human beans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rpdaca
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Wait, its all beans?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/funky555
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.

That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cryingcactuso
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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Our two buddies Bean and Jack was arrested yesterday for harassing women.

Jack and the Bean stalk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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β€œThere’s Bean an Accident” β€” Tee Shirt I Designed
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magicswitchboard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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If coffee comes from coffee beans, where does alcohol come from?

Jim Beans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombieboy97k
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Black Beans Matter
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πŸ‘€︎ u/David_Jonathan0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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Is anyone interested in my religion that worships pinto beans?

We believe they're holy frijoles!

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Making beans

My grandfather used to say when making baked beans you need to use exactly 239. Anymore and they would be too farty

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Why didn't the pharaoh eat beans?

Because then he'd be Tootin'-khamun

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Always has bean
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πŸ‘€︎ u/--no-u-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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Why did the Scotsman only eat 239 beans?

Because if he had one more he’d be (Scottish accent) two farty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hakuna-matodda
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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Someone told me to spill the beans

I said not unless you're gonna clean it up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kankadank_Jr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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What happened to the baked beans that took a trip around Australia?

They ended up in Cairns

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SentinalBravo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Did you know there are exactly 239 beans in Irish stew?

Any more and it would be two farty...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marty___mcfly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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Pirates of the carib bean
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arie_sge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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It's bean long since I've heard a classic pun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DueTry9
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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Ivanka Trump: What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

Daddy never had a Garbanzo bean on his face.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joezze
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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Today I gave my dad some French beans I had grown in my garden.

He asked if they needed to go into quarantine!

(UK just asked everyone coming in from France to observe 2 weeks quarantine)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanAhJustSay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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What is a bag of beans you can't eat?

A beanbag

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Which bean loves women the most?

The lesbean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sophiemich
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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What is the friendliest bean in the world?

The howvya bean!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnochChell
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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Be there or bean square
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moolie-sheep
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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Coffee beans must have the lowest self-esteem...

They’re always getting roasted!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...

It was a pinto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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This morning, my wife was grinding coffee beans and suddenly said, β€œWe’re through.”

It was grounds for divorce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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You need exactly 239 beans to make Irish soup because if you add one more it becomes too farty.
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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Mr. Lima Bean
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChronicallySad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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God blessed my beans and meat

It's spirit-chilli ready to eat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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What do you get when you eat a peanut butter & baked bean sandwich?

A fart that sticks to the roof of your butt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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bean.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WrongSmokes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Bill, the weatherman: β€œToday’s weather forecast will be two beans in a tomato, meat sauce.”

Anchor: Bill, what on earth are you talking about?

Bill: It’ll be a little chili.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBisme
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my face

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InnocuousDaisy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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