I still miss my favorite beanie, it's been lost for awhile.

I toque it for granted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supersonicbrick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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Easier than stealing a bean from a beanie baby
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeoMarethyu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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What did the scarf say to the beanie?

You go on a head, I'll just hang around here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearinthegarden14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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Beijing customs disallowed my alpaca beanie baby

They thought it was a dolly llama.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gone4011s
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
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I hope I don't get banned from Reddit if I were to start subs related to toboggans, fedoras, beanies, caps, visors, sombreros, etc.

Because then I'd be promoting hat groups.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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So my daughter was eating leftover baked beans for lunch, and she said really likes them...

I told she could be my Beanie Baby!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gladmaximus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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Went to a football game with my friend Richard.

There was this guy on the pitch with a beanie on his head. He scored the first goal, a header.

"Great goal," I said.

"Yes," said my friend. "A great goal."

Another opportunity arose ten minutes later, and the same player jumped up, and scored another header. A terrific one.

"Wow, that was unstoppable," I told my friend.

"Yes, unbelievable. Unstoppable," he replied.

Towards the end of the game, the same player leapt up, scored another incredible header.

I turned to my friend, flabbergasted and said, "I think that thing on his head, it's giving him some sort of advantage. This entire game he hasn't missed a single header."

"What about it?" asked my friend.

I said. "He's got a hat, Rick."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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My father, the comedian.

Joke 1:

My sister was talking with my dad about the show β€˜I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant’ and she went onto ask β€œhow do you accidentally make a person?” And without missing a beat, my father looked her dead in the eye and replied with β€œI accidentally made three.” With the most serious face I’ve seen in my life.

Joke 2:

My sister, dad, and I were in Wal-Mart one day and in passing the toys, we found those circular beanie baby things with the big eyes. So, my ever impressive father grabs a special edition Chewbacca toy, pretend bites it as though it’s an apple, and says β€œHuh, this is a... Little Chewy!”

There’s more, considering he’s a Dad, but those two stand out the most to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theashtonjay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2018
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I didn't think I was a dad, but I must be to come up with this one.

I was returning my friend's beanie which he left at my house. He was really happy to see it and started nuzzling it. I turned to him as we were walking and said: "What are you, friends with beanie-fits?!"

I was the only one to laugh, however I'm still proud of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaKanza
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2014
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