I want to find a street called "Sunshine" and walk down it just so I can sing "I'm walkin on Sunshine."!
👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Nov 30 2018
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Why did Christopher Walkin lose the marathon?

Because he's not Christopher Runnin.

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Aug 27 2017
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The Pirate (Long)

A pirate walks into bar and sits down. The bartender notices that he has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over one eye. The pirate orders a beer, and while he's pouring it the bartender asks "So what's the story with the leg?" "Well it were many a year ago," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship and a rogue wave swept me overboard, and a shark swum up and bit me leg clean off! I swum ashore and were fitted fer a peg leg that very night." "That's terrible," says the bartender. "What about the hand?" "Well it were the very next day," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship and a rogue wave swept me overboard again, and a whale came up and bit me hand clean off! I swum ashore and were fitted fer a hook that very night." "Wow," says the bartender. "So what about the eye?" "Well it were the very next day," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship, and I were lookin out fer rogue waves, and a seagull flew over and shit right in me eye!" "Oh man," says the bartender. "And that blinded you?" "Well no," says the pirate. "But it were me first day with the hook."

👍︎ 15
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👤︎ u/flyingfrig
📅︎ Feb 08 2020
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