To help me focus on working, background music is instrumental

Mostly because I'd get distracted if there were vocals

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WillKay10
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A pirate's favorite musical instrument is...

... the lute!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?

The trombone... Wait... something isn’t right. They don’t have no lungs. So it has to be... the bonegos.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments?

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/koukasen_np
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Which musical instrument can be detrimental to your health?

A harmonica.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Which is the music instrument that Samurai Jack despises the most?

The Akustic Guitar.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xoriatis71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought a musical instrument for my daughter, which cost me $1000.

It was a grand piano.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
If you remove all musical instruments from a church

Is it disorganised?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roku-Hanmar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Which musical instrument is the most depressed?

The sigh-low-phone.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyckt206
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Amazon should change rating on music instrument category to 4 stars

So i can give them 4/4

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arifshiddiq
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences goes largely unnoticed.
πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was thinking to myself, if I wanted to race some musical instruments, where would I go?

Then it came to me, a soundtrack of course.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Saxophone might be considered as the sexiest musical instrument

but there is nothing sounds more horny than brass

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/r96340
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I won the lottery and squandered most of it on buying 17th century artwork and musical instruments.

It left me baroque.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dad is really excited that I play the same musical instrument he does. I'm not sure if it's worth it,

since he calls me "Tuba Good In Junior"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jjustingraham
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Which musical instrument is most likely to take legal action against the others?

The sue-saphone

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doug_The_Plug
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
The musical saw is the most challenging instrument

They’re always a bit sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHK1961
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A music project in the ghetto taught a lot of youngsters to play string instruments. The crime rate dropped significantly.

But now they have a lot of violins

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arthur_Decosta
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?

The xylobone.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nobody2401
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm not allowed within 500 yards of a musical instrument.

I'm a registered sax offender.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noahmancometh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walked into a bar with his pet octopus. He went up to the counter and bet everyone in the bar $50 that they couldn’t bring the octopus a musical instrument that it couldn’t play...

One man pulled an old guitar off the wall that hadn’t been tuned in years and gave it to the octopus.

The octopus took the guitar, tuned it right up and began play.

There was no doubt that the octopus was an excellent guitar player.

The man paid his handler $50 and sat down.

Another man brought a saxophone to the octopus.

The octopus took it and stared for a bit.

After a minute or two the octopus began playing a deep and soulful jazz solo.

This man paid his $50 and sat down.

The bartender went into the back and brought out a set of bag pipes.

The bartender said, β€œI’ll bet $100 that the octopus can’t play these bagpipes.”

The man agreed and handed them to the octopus.

The octopus sat there eyeing the bagpipes up and down for quite awhile.

The handler began to get nervous so he said to the octopus, β€œHurry up and start playing the thing”

The octopus spewed, β€œPlay it?! I wanna marry her!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a slutty musical instrument?

A whorgan

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
There was a knight whose job it was to guard other knights while they sleep

But as anyone that has worked the night shift knows it can be a long and boring affair. No great threats to defend against. So this knight decided to improve himself, night after night he would bring books to read while he stood guard. Learning languages, math, philosophy. The smarter he gets the more he realizes that he will likely leave the world and be forgotten. In his depression he turns to music, learning instrument after instrument, style after style. Using his knowledge of math to create beautiful patterns and moving songs. He learns that it is they rhythm more than anything that draws people to a song and sets his nights to finding the rhythm that will be universally loved. Now, hundreds of years after his death, people the world over still remember Sir Cadian's Rhythm.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirDianthus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
My College Internship Almost Ruined My Life

I'm quite the music history buff- always have been. My first inkling as a college student was to explore turning this into a career. So I found a music museum, wrote an impassioned essay, and somehow landed the 12-week internship.

When I got there, I met the curator, a woman named Rhonda. Like me, she had grown up enjoying music and always wanting to know more. Thanks to grants and donors' generosity, she had helped continue the museum's legacy of showcasing what might otherwise be lost to history.

The tradition of the museum had always been to let the interns work in the orchestral wing. My assignment in particular was the string section.

Now I didn't know a whole lot about the string family, but I saw some really fine specimens and decided we could perhaps tell a broader story about the progression of the instruments. And so I began studying.

After about a week of studying, I went to Rhonda and asked if we could do something different here. She was very receptive to the idea and introduced me to her assistant, Dr. Will. His PhD was in history, natch, but he still relished having everyone call him Doctor. It was funny.

Dr. Will helped me learn so much about how the family of instruments developed over time, their overall cultural footprint, etc.

Did you know a fiddle and a violin are the same thing? Did you know the viola family dates back to the 16th C.? Vivaldi wrote 25 cello concertos!

I dazzled visitors with tales of the Stradivarius, Amati and Guarneri families. I noted the increase in neck length over time. I reassured them that despite the name catgut, no cat intestines were used in the creation of these instrumentsβ€”but it sure might be sheep or goat.

Sadly, 12 weeks goes by quickly when you're having fun, and I got enthusiastic letters of recommendation from Rhonda and Dr. Will, and I do miss them. Hello, you two.

I figured I could waltz (sorry) right in to more museum jobs later, but boy, was I mistaken.

I kept interviewing for the job, but after about the 10th cold shoulder, I had to find out what I was doing wrong. I had done such a good job, after all, right??????

So I fucking called the museum

got the guy who interviewed me on the lineβ€”and he wasn't thrilled to even talk to me. But I asked him, sir, why didn't I even get a call back? Weren't my qualifications good?

He said, yes, BUT.......

"...we simply can't hire someone who has exhibited a history of violins."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yungcfa
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Are musical instruments therapeutic?

Well, accordion to science

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A lieutenant of a marching band had lost his piccolo, he went to a music instrument-store and asked for a piccolo

The store keeper said that they ran out of stock of piccolos but he could rent out a flute, the lieutenant agreed promptly.

After the performance the lieutenant came back to the store to return the flute. The store keeper asked if he was the flute tenant

No I am the lieutenant

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/minecraftkoolkidz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent study, you can replace one word with the name of a musical instrument without anybody noticing.
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrBELDING69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What's a sheep's favorite musical instrument?

A ewekelele.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Achieving world peace is simple. Just burn all musical instruments.

Then there will finally be no violins.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AutoCommenter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the most macho musical instrument?

MANdolin

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chelseadaggered
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
🚨︎ report
On musical instruments.

My friend, Joe plays the guitar pretty well, so I told him, "Joe, you play the guitar pretty well. Have you ever been in a banjo?"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turnbull1a
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments?

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ordinarybloke1963
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don’t notice it when you replace random words with musical instruments.
πŸ‘︎ 254
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GreninjaTube
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.
πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AYKW
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My ex used to hit me with musical instruments.

I didn't know she had a history of violins.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wwchopper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales playing musical instruments?

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report

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