I’m a blues musician, so my wife is always saying how soulful I am.

Any chance she gets she will say, β€œYou are soul.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smaghammer
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
Henry Churches is a good musician.

Google Translate: Enrique Iglesias es un buen mΓΊsico.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sagbon98
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
What happens when a musician went insane?

He go completely instrumental

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dezero10
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Never let anyone tell you what can or cannot do. Just look at Beethoven, everyone told him he wouldn't make it as a musician.

But did he listen?

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
What era is a musician in when he has no money?

Baroque

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kqog
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do.. just look at Beethoven. Everyone told him he would never be a musician because he was deaf.

But did he listen?

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/manda00710
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
Why are strawberries the best musicians?

Because they really know how to jam! πŸ“πŸŽ΅

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wayj99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
[Tribute to the singer/songwriter who passed away today] How do you turn a duck into a soul musician?

Put it in the microwave until its bill withers.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aaaaaidan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
How did the famous musician propose to his wife?

With a kneel diamond.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/13toycar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
What did the musician say to the soldier?

Do you C major anywhere

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IEatSauce
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
One for all the musicians out there sorry not sorry
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/schnickelfritz420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
Who is Ronald McDonald's favorite musician?

Phil A. of Phish

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?

Cause he was an outdoor cat.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nazi musician?

A Reich star

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sansgore
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
This one goes out to my musician boys
πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrTurtle22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was musician's car parked on the side of a highway?

Because he got Ab

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rvvl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
Why do fish make for great musicians?

Because they can tuna instrument.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ididshave
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was a musician I'd drop mad beats

Then I quit so now I'm just a dead beat.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConfidentDuck1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
The sound from a musician on stage bounces off the auditorium walls to surround the audience. The sound from a pigeon on stage does not do this.

The reason is a coo sticks.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CarlosMingos22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the classical musician that had money issues?

I heard he went Baroque

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/almondjoyeee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Very smart musician
πŸ‘︎ 162
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/papa_papito
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My mother told me that the only musicians more promiscuous than rock and roll artists were jazz musicians.

Because they were always having sax.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Old musicians never die.

They just decompose.

(seen on the t-shirt of an actual dad today. Thank you for the chuckle, anonidad)

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What was the fish musician called

β€œCod cobain”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlfieTreacy69420
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
what do musicians have?

ORGANasms

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/melidoas482
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is a chicken's favorite musician?

Jimi Hendrix

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/king_arley2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dead musician?

A de-composer

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MarcusofMenace
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a folk musician, floating in a pickle jar?

Bob Dillin'

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a chickens favorite musician

Bach

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MurtleWasHere
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: Two minibuses carrying jazz musicians have collided on the country’s busiest road

Police say to expect long jams

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a musician's favorite method of transportation?

Debussy

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do spider-musicians always have such long concert tours?

-Because they have so many legs!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LewisSpaceBun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
We were walking down the street, when a group of black metal musicians approached us.

My friend turned to me and quipped, "Oh oh! Here comes treble!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the musician walk instead of driving his car?

He'd driven over something sharp and got his tire flat

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wotah_Bottle_86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Musicians are highly dangerous...

They’re known for their violins.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What was the person who made clothes as an occupation's favorite musician?

Tailor Swift

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ResidentReward
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Heard about the French House musician?

Totally a maison

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Earthsophagus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A group of musicians painfully struggled to play together

But then they got a bandaid...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatokingXII
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a musicians favorite fish?

A tuna!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/romanator25
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
When musicians die and keep releasing music, you could say they are de-composing. reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Moe_roNs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one musician say when the other left their strings at home?

β€œGuitar strings!”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/waddupmanitsjohn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Which musician is the best at catching fish?

Baithoven

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JimbobobaboBob
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to a concert last night and the musicians were bouncing around the stage like crazy.

Turns out they were an elastic band.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vrnate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do musicians get sick

Bachteria

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smolbing
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the musician survive a zombie apocalypse?

He bard his windows.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stunley
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the musician shout before he dropped his woodwind instrument?

Timbre

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a musician’s favorite lunchmeat?

Sol-La-Mi!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chippedreed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the amphibious musicians?

Their music is Ribbiting.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kariston
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My favorite musician.
πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a young musician

A minor

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_badpuns
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the rival musicians say to each other?

I'll kick your bass

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealMashrafi4
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call sugarless sweets produced by a blind musician?

Stevia Wonder

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A musician is listening to his student playing the piano...

(Teacher) - While I was listening to your play, I constantly had Beethoven in my mind (Student) - Wow, that's so kind of you, thanks! (Teacher) - You know, I wanted to be as deaf as him

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_HellDog_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the musician lose a gig at a funeral?

He couldn’t find the right tomb.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TITANofATHENS
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do prisoners make bad musicians?

Because they're always behind a few bars and can't find the key.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteryOrange7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Morgan Freeman has a twin brother that is a professional musician?

His name is Organ Freeman

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadyTurtle_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
The majority of people that have dropped beets are not musicians
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do musicians over 40 practice?

AARPeggios

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tpttpttpt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is a body of water’s favorite musician

David Buoy

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Souplorde
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the benefit concert to help starving musicians?

They're calling it Band-Aid.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rcflier500
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Take Beethoven, for example. They told him he couldn't be a musician because he was deaf...

...but he didn't listen...

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My son wants to see Marshmello partner up with two other EDM Musicians wearing helmets, named Chocolate and Graham Krackers...

He said he'd really like to hear S'more Music.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TKJ
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do fishermen and musicians have in common?

They master the D-scale

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mftheoryArts
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My musician wife asked me to go to the grocery store.

I asked her to make me a Chopin Liszt.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CleverChoice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
After suffering chronic discomfort for years, musician Fatboy Slim launched an awareness campaign for standardisation of rubber component materials used in the shoe industry.

Check it out now, foot, sole, rubber.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Irnbruaddict
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of musicians who stole all their instruments?

Bandits.

πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fwafy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
🚨︎ report
What do musicians use to play longer notes?

An extension chord!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cornbread_curfew
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Who’s the spice racks favorite musician

Evils Parsley

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBigLobster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Who is a computer enthusist's favorite musician?

Adele

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ctparkin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when a group of musicians break up?

They disband.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TDowhan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you count Swedish musicians?

With an Abbacus.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Orcs are the best musicians

Their orcestras are the best

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vvt2003
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are musicians such rational people?

Because they always make sound decisions.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OiTheRolk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
There was this musician in North Korea... imgur.com/gallery/4p8Z5
πŸ‘︎ 111
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Infinite999
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a musician without money?

Baroque

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamreallybad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the musician arrested for pedophilia?

Because he like to play in A minor.

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathFeind
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an argument with seamen and a popular female musician?

One's a sailors' tiff, the other's a Taylor Swift.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do 00's musicians call a criminal

Akon

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rimjobsarentbad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
A disease has been discovered where musicians temporarily lost their ability to tell which notes are which when sharing an automobile with a stranger.

Medical experts have named it "carpool tonal syndrome".

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the musician that died?

He's started to decompose.

πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Why are classical musicians so good at finding deals?

Because they never pay the Liszt price.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/renderfox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't jazz musicians use guns?

Because they jam

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DonnieShotFrank
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
🚨︎ report
A musician’s desk is always cluttered.

There’s too many chords

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DinguBingu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
The police arrested a musician for murder.

Apparently, all he ever thought about was violins.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PuzzledKitty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2016
🚨︎ report
My uncle is a musician, but his second gig is being a dad

http://imgur.com/Ht8jydx

πŸ‘︎ 357
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ResetsPls
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2015
🚨︎ report
What did the musician name his three daughters?

Anna 1

Anna 2

Anna 3

  • Spicoli's Morning Fiasco
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HiddinPlainsite
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
🚨︎ report
When a musician gets a new lock installed on their front door...

... Is that a key change?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/h2g2_researcher
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Old musicians never die...

They just decompose.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report

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