I said to my kids, "Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do! Take Beethoven for example. They told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf!"

"But he didn't listen!"

πŸ‘︎ 224
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
Musicians say if the world isn't round

It would B flat.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PieShape_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the church musician who died suddenly?

Turns out it was organ failure.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeoCat100
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the most patient musician?

Tom Waits

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/levainletlive
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
What did the musician say on commercial break?

Stay tuned

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Three musicians were arrested

They were violion people

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the musician play that landed him in jail?

He played a D minor.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kboisno
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a chicken's favorite musician?

Bach

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...

I work with beet boxes and I wrap!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anelion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister fell for a musician.

She got played

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the caveman musician like to play during landslides?

Cause it was a real rock concert

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I just read that times were real tough for musicians in the early 17th century...

They were all Baroque

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/qwopcircles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the seafood-themed jazz musician's career tank?

Because he had no sole

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRage469
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do classical musicians like to read in bed?

Sheet music

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Which musician gives the nicest Christmas presents?

A wrapper.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nuclear_porridge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister said I looked like a German composer and musician of the Baroque period, especially when wearing my powdered wig... So I changed everything and it changed my life!

I haven't looked Bach since!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Christopher Cross retired as a musician to make time for his new business venture?

Chris Cross Applesauce

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Sushi chef refuse to serve the musician?

Cause he was outta tuna.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rpdaca
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What bone does a musician break?

His trombone

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rekker_dekker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a musician’s favorite part of the day?

12:34

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the musician throw to his dog?

Acoustic.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1m4h4x0r309
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the musician making a song about preserves?

He says it's his currant jam.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ObjectionPW
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How did a musician steal from a bank without being noticed?

He took notes

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Soulfox1988
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My musician son was complaining about having to learn the theme song from Friends.

I said to him, "So no one told you life was gonna be this way?"

[Insert claps here]

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alroquez
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A musician walks into a locksmiths, and asks them:

"Do you have any spare keys?"

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is a chicken's favorite classical musician?

bach bach bach

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...

His stage name "Diss-Bard"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brokenbyher2019
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why aren't jazz musicians missing their girlfriends during quarantine?

They're already used to the sex on phone

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeliciousCookie8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
You know what musician the Elves love?

Elvis

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PlankenSonja
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are the classic musicians so creative?

they think outside of the Bachs

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aggeliki04
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Never let anyone tell you what can or cannot do. Just look at Beethoven, everyone told him he wouldn't make it as a musician.

But did he listen?

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a musician cheese?

Mozartella

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DSBM00
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
One for all the musicians out there sorry not sorry
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/schnickelfritz420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m a blues musician, so my wife is always saying how soulful I am.

Any chance she gets she will say, β€œYou are soul.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smaghammer
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the musician who went to the La Brea Tar pits and chucked butter into it?

He said he wanted to make a Ghee Tar.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aortic_Bacon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when a musician went insane?

He go completely instrumental

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dezero10
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the famous musician propose to his wife?

With a kneel diamond.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/13toycar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Henry Churches is a good musician.

Google Translate: Enrique Iglesias es un buen mΓΊsico.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sagbon98
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
[Tribute to the singer/songwriter who passed away today] How do you turn a duck into a soul musician?

Put it in the microwave until its bill withers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aaaaaidan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do.. just look at Beethoven. Everyone told him he would never be a musician because he was deaf.

But did he listen?

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/manda00710
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What era is a musician in when he has no money?

Baroque

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kqog
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the musician say to the soldier?

Do you C major anywhere

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IEatSauce
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?

Cause he was an outdoor cat.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a Canadian musician’s favourite key to play in?

Eh

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MCready419
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is Ronald McDonald's favorite musician?

Phil A. of Phish

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...

I work with beet boxes and I wrap!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anelion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report

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