Mums Puns

The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.

Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.

The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:

"What's sarong with that?"

I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).

His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.

--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)

--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.

She's a vigilauntie.

but dad jokes are by father best

You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

My dad doesn't like her.

...... because if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal

Son at shops the next day: Mum, can we get that box of apples? Mum now pretty confused: why honey? Son: I kinda kicked my football through the doctors window

...turns out that’s called identity theft and is illegal.

Mum : you're the daym doctor and this wasn't funny the first time

I couldn't find the words to thank her.

If anyone asks, you've not seen us.

But not the one’s she’s been giving me lately

Why would I need a hairy chest?

"Mum!!! You're going to get us kicked out of Disney world. "

'I wish I'd listened to my mother' Why? What did she say? Dunno, I wasn't listening

“Why don’t you help me with the laundry? Its whites today.” She said.

“How will that help?” I asked.

“Well I hear whitewashing is good for revising history.”

Mum: looks at dad

Dad: clenches fist and sweats

Mum: No, don-

Dad: HI GAY I'M DAD

Gandhi: From the bottom of Mahatma

Minimum

So I packed my things and right

credit to u/Anon8627, upvote him, please!

https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/i9kc74/my_mom_said_that_i_have_no_sense_of_direction/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

Dad jokes!

Mum says no baby.

The baby grass snake says, Thank god for that ive just bitten my toungue.

So my dad brought her a glass of wine.

Chrysanthemums.

I was dazed.

Things really boiled over

Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta

I said "Maybe you should put it in the vegetable drawer"

My wife: hey (son's name) I need to sweep the floor, can you please bring me the broom?

My son: OK broomer!

We could hardly walk.

I eventually found all three of them sitting on the hearth in front of the fireplace.

My dad, being the joker he is, promptly said "There's nothing I can say. In total, three clips on the hearth."

Your humour is amazing, dads

‘Cos she’s worth it.

She's my Aunt Acid.

Dad: Relax love it's serving lunch.

According to him, their first date was "A Casual tea"..

Asking if they look like hares from a distance!

Mumbai

So I went home for the hollandaise

It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,

About Six-tea years to date,

Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,

her cupious amazing traits

Her balanced demeanour

Her Kindness and (earl) grace,

rooibost sense of humour,

too many to name in this teany space,

to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,

let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,

While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,

It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.

I replied “No. it was a K 9”

But my Dad can go father

...turns out that’s called identity theft and is illegal.