Bean puns, my favorite
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
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Why shouldn't you put more than 239 beans in a soup?

Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.

Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oak05
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
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A couple of coffee beans were having a comedy show, just between friends...

It was a light roast!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cameForTheGum
πŸ“…︎ May 04
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Someone offered me a bowl of beans.

I think I’ll pass.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ May 24
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Pint o Beans
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReddicaPolitician
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
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Lightening never strikes coffee beans

Unless they are ground

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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My buddy said he's been living on tins of baked beans all month.

That can't be good for his back.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ May 06
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Why did the man put his glasses in a can of beans?

To get Heinzsight.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDukeOfSpiffing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
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Why do the Irish always put 239 beans in their soup?

Because anymore would be too farty.

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hallsguide
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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How did the father coffee bean punish his son when he did something wrong?

By grounding him

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LesionIsMyDaddy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
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I made this She's got of lumps and bumps but I'm overall happy she's finnished kings, queens, and non-binary beans I present to you, my Les-bee-ian πŸ˜‚πŸβ€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ€πŸ’—
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxCandy_floofxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
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Jack: How’s it going? Beans: Pretty good

Jack and the beans talk

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnr_jinx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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This morning I had fried eggs, fried bread, fried potatoes and refried beans....

Happy Fry-day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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What happened to the Baked Beans that went around Australia?

They ended up in Cairns!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

Trump didn’t pay 50k to have a garbanzo bean on his face

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B1RDS-ARENT-REAL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
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They're finally spilling the beans
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liamo000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
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If the process of decaffeinating coffee beans means being doused in formaldehyde...

Does that make them Coffinated?

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardwithablog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
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I killed an entire container of garbanzo bean spread.

It was hummuside.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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What is a straight guy’s favorite kind of beans?

Lesbeans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheesenbooty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
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its all beans????
πŸ‘︎ 594
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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What is the difference of a dog and a can of baked beans?

Well you see, the resemblance is un-canny.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Backthrasher
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
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What's the best tool for grinding beans for iced coffee?

A brrrrr grinder

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/copy_run_start
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
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Mr. Bean said it best

when he said...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teeim
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Okay guys. Who spilled the bean?
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchHeIs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Why was the bean upset with his partner's gift to him?

She gave him her peas.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevographic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
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2 female beans are in love.

Lesbeans.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/niiigggaaa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Always has bean.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asif366
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Wait, its all beans?
πŸ‘︎ 209
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πŸ‘€︎ u/funky555
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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I just spilt baked beans everywhere.

In Heinz-sight, that was a bad idea

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salt_E_Plum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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What kind of beans do cannibals eat?

Human beans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rpdaca
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Why did the Irishman make beans with 239 beans?

Cause 1 more would be 240 (read in an Irish accent, sounds like too farty)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frijolita_bonita
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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β€œThere’s Bean an Accident” β€” Tee Shirt I Designed
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magicswitchboard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.

That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cryingcactuso
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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Why does my son grow like a bean?

Because he edamame.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirFrankPork
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Black Beans Matter
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/David_Jonathan0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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what do you get when you cross a swamp monster with a bean?

The creature from the black legume!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/psychodelicasies
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Did you know there are exactly 239 beans in Irish stew?

Any more and it would be two farty...

πŸ‘︎ 787
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marty___mcfly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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Is anyone interested in my religion that worships pinto beans?

We believe they're holy frijoles!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Always has bean
πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/--no-u-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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Our two buddies Bean and Jack was arrested yesterday for harassing women.

Jack and the Bean stalk.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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If coffee comes from coffee beans, where does alcohol come from?

Jim Beans

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombieboy97k
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Making beans

My grandfather used to say when making baked beans you need to use exactly 239. Anymore and they would be too farty

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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How many beans do you need to make the perfect bean soup?

239.

Because one more would be too farty.

πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crash_86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InnocuousDaisy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my face

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InnocuousDaisy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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