What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?

Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wittynutter
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
🚨︎ report
A man choked to death after ingesting mashed chickpeas.

At first it was thought to be a freak accident but police are now treating it as a humuside.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moreton91
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I just killed a bunch of chickpeas...

It was a hummuside

πŸ‘︎ 166
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ginganinja3497
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

Trump didn’t pay 50k to have a garbanzo bean on his face

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B1RDS-ARENT-REAL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?

Hummuside

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Travis-Tarbox
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it if you die from eating too many chickpeas?

Hummuscide

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spicey_mouseturds
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn’t pay $50 to let a lentil on my face.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?

Hummus a tune.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Reptiliansarehere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the chickpea say when it had a stomachache?

I falafel.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nishidake
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I spent the past few minutes throwing chickpeas at my cat's feet...

I used the beans to bean the beans.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KatLikeGaming
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I just ate some out-of-date, mouldy chickpeas.

Now, I falafel

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LTAD2108
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Police found a dead chickpea that was smashed

They ruled it out as hummuscide

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Corleone_Michael
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I gave my wife some ground chickpeas and she choked to death.

The cops are treating it as a hummus-cide.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Those patties made of chickpeas and spices are supposed to be healthy.

But whenever I make them I felafel.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mkrjoe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did anyone else hear about the guy who they caught smashing chickpeas?

12 counts of hummuside

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quillboy14
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the chickpea that was cooked, mashed and then fried?

He falafel.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BaldingMonk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

Chickpeas are only half awful, garbanzo beans are falafel.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thevectorvictor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the farmer who drowned in chickpeas?

The police suspect it was a hummucide.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Faoroth
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The police are investigating the death of a man who was killed with a can of chickpeas.

It's an obvious case of hummuscide.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Crash_86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gay chickpea?

A hummusexual

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brockmelon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2015
🚨︎ report
What happens when one chickpea kills another?

Hummuside

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Burton83
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the vegan stop eating chickpeas?

To stop supporting hummuside.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Koala_J
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the chickpea that tripped over?

The fella fell

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TurboAxolotl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I apologize for becoming a deep-fried fritter made of mashed chickpeas.

I falafel.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ajd011394
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chickpea that walks off a cliff?

Falafell

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TurboAxolotl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Since ove seen a couple dirty jokes here... what's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

Nobody pays 50 bucks for a lentil on the face

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mattmilli1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear what happened to the Middle Eastern man who ate an old chickpea doughnut?

He subsequently falafel.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Aerosaurus_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
🚨︎ report
What’s your sexual orientation if you loved mashed chickpeas?

A hummusexual

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abhijani97
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Have you guys heard about the police investigation into the death of a chickpea?

It was a hummus-ide.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kizman123456789
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2018
🚨︎ report
A group of chickpeas are talking. One says that they really enjoys singing.

Another one in the group asks "Oh, really? How about you hummus a tune?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mondonodo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2015
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InnocuousDaisy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my face

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InnocuousDaisy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madeinbuffalo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

I’ve never payed $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShtyBill
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OVdose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $300 to have a Garbanzo Bean on my face

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thehybridview
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a chickpea kills another chickpea?

Hummus-ide :)

πŸ‘︎ 241
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MiseryAd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2015
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea

Nobody has ever paid $200 to have a lentil on their face.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jp234989292
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when someone dies from eating too many chickpeas?

Hummuscide!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aevyian
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face before.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisissami
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a Garbonzo Bean and a Chickpea?

I've never had a Garbonzo bean on my chest.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DUPA1856
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a mung bean and a chickpea?

Donald Trump has never had a mung bean on his face.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainBibble
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

You wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on your face.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/majblackburn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
🚨︎ report
You know the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $200 to have a garbanzo bean in my face!

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timeforpajamas
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.