What do you do with the nutrients at your door?


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👤︎ u/yank_eh
📅︎ Feb 27 2020
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I could never appreciate children between the ages of 13 and 19. Then, I added macro-nutrients made of amino acids to my diet. Now, I am pro-teen!

A dad joke original from my dad!!!

👍︎ 9
📅︎ Sep 02 2019
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Which nutrients travels the fastest inside of your body?


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👤︎ u/Pdonkey
📅︎ Dec 22 2018
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Tablets, smoothies; why do people want their nutrients so fast?

Because the old tree ents were too slow.

👍︎ 8
👤︎ u/ZenSeneca
📅︎ Aug 08 2018
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Will you absorb the nutrients?

Or villi ?

👍︎ 15
📅︎ Feb 13 2017
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So, Gandhi, right?

On average, this guy walked 11+ miles per day for 40 years. WITHOUT SHOES.

Dude fasted frequently, too, so he didn't get a lot of the nutrients that most people get on a daily basis and presumably had bad breath.

That being said, Gandhi was...


👍︎ 10
📅︎ Aug 02 2020
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Found in r/aww
👍︎ 4k
👤︎ u/Lanko-TWB
📅︎ May 07 2018
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My neighbours tree just got exterminated.

He said it was because of tree ants.

The next day, he exterminated his other tree that before, hadn't had any ants.

He said it was because of nutrients.

👍︎ 4
📅︎ Jun 27 2019
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Regarding the diets of dairy cows.

I grew up in Vermont. Around my town were plenty of dairy farms, inviting the always wonderful manure aroma. An aroma that nearly forced my father to inhale deeply through his nose, saying, "Ah, fresh Vermont air!"

That's an excellent Dad one liner, as are most dad jokes, but he had another great one that I'm getting to.

You see, the hay bails we saw growing up in Vermont were mostly the cube variety. Hay bailing technology at the time created cubes of hay, so that's what dotted the fields they'd graze in.

As we grew older, we starting noticing the now more common round bails of hay. Dad was not pleased.

I asked him what the problem was or, at least, what his problem was with the round bails. The best jokes are set up when you ask for them.

So, he tells me. New farming technology allowed the round bails to be created more efficiently. They used less fuel in the bailers, took less passes on the field to gather the hay. They used less twine, and even though they didn't fill a truck as well as square bails, there was still a net monetary gain from the efficiency gained elsewhere.

However, studies were done on the bails. The cows approached them differently due to the different alignment of surface area. The way the rain hit the bails and rolled off as opposed to soaking in leached nutrients out of the hay. Some cows even mistook the shape of bail for another animal, and approached them so nervously that their heart rates were known to raise significantly; such a rate that a tinge of acidity could be tasted by those in the know in their milk.

What all of this amounted to... is that with the new round bails of hay, the cows just weren't getting a good square meal.

👍︎ 57
👤︎ u/estomasi
📅︎ Sep 06 2013
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Friend got us good talking about food

A few friends and I were talking about our food preferences. One friend says, "White rice isn't that good for you, since most of the nutrients and fiber are taken away during the bleaching and processing. Brown rice is a lot better for you." Then my other friend replies, "You know what they call people like you in Australia? Ricest."

👍︎ 6
📅︎ Sep 15 2016
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My Dad and I got our Christmas tree today...

And on the way home, we were discussing how plants retrieve nutrients, and why pine trees can survive through the winter. I said, "I wonder if it stems from the shape of their leaves?" To which my dad responded, "Well, I suppose we just got to the root of the problem, so I bet we can just leaf it at that."

👍︎ 4
📅︎ Dec 14 2013
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