If you have ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly
Because communication is key
Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit
My wife just placed childproof locks on all our important cabinets.
Can someone help me open our liqour cabinet?
How does a locksmith fix a lock?
My wife has eaten that much during lock down...
....that she's started getting a tan off the frigging fridge light.
Lock down MAY END by MAY END, or MAY NOT END by MAY END,as it MAY EXTEND....
But MAY will END, by MAY END, even if lockdown MAY NOT END.
What do you call a prostitute who locks her customers in the basement!?
Knowing how to pick locks...
Has really opened a lot of doors for me.
Dwayne "the Lock" Johnson
My Italian friend always locks himself out of the house...
I needed to get my locks changed, but all the locksmiths were closed... I thought they were key workers?
Petition to lock this sub once a week
Because there's no post on Sunday
I've been stuck in lock down so long I've started writing myself letters
A couple of years ago I learned how to lock pick and it's opened up so many doors for me.
A lady accidentally locks herself out of her car and begins to panic.
A passing soldier notices this, walks over and rolls his pants across the car. Magically, the car unlocks. The woman is relieved but puzzled, asking him how he did it.
"That's easy. These are khakis."
How do you break into a cold lock?
I was testing a lock which opens with a fingerprint, and trying to see how many fingerprints I could store. I've been able to store 10 fingerprints without issue
Because that's all I had on hand.
Just fitted a new door lock
My dad is always embarrassed about cutting himself while getting rid of his beard, so he locks himself in the bathroom...
I guess he’s just trying to shave face…
Grampas has those puns on lock. Xpost
ONE OF MY KIDS BROKE MY CAPS LOCK KEY.
I’M NOT UPSET, BUT DON’T KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT.
A wizard dies and they lock up his ashes in a lamp
The lamp is then fastened by the sea, just so none of the townsfolk get into trouble. One day, an inquisitive young chap opens the lamp and the wizard starts wreaking havoc upon the town. All the scientists gather and decide to chemically dissolve the lamp. But all the chemicals they have fail to work. They try to burn it, melt it and what not but nothing works. Finally one scientist says “I know exactly what we should do. Pour excessive chemicals and try to dissolve it. I know we’ve tried it before but let’s give it another shot.” They bring in acids and other corrosives from the neighbouring cities and pour it on the lamp and it successfully dissolves and the wizard disappears. Everyone is amazed and asks the scientist “How did you know about the extra chemicals?” The bald, black scientist looks at them and says “Oh that’s easy. Moored urn problems require more darn solutions.”
I just saw your math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper.
I bet he must be plotting something.
u/UsedFloorMatt
Am glad that my potato pasta didn’t have a lock on it
Cause there is Gnocchi to open it
While my wife and I were dating in high school we were at this church lock in. I said, “Can’t wait till we get outta here and I can plant one on ya” she said, “What kinda flower”
No hesitation I say, “Tulips”
Why do the best baseball players never lock their doors?
Because they’re always safe at home
When I used to be a wrestler, I would get a guy in a head lock and write my name on their forehead.
It was my signature move.
What do you call it when you lose a lock?
If you see a chick changing out the locks or cleaning out the pool at an apartment complex, NEVER give her a joint.
Nobody like high maintenance women.
How do you lock up a ballerina?
You provide enough evidance.
So I've been worried about this malicious software that locks my computer onto an online bowler's website...
But I guess I'm not the only one worried about the E-Bowler virus
Talk to your lock if you're locked put
Because communication is the key.
If you ever get locked out of the house, talk to the lock calmly
If you ever get locked out of your house just talk to the lock.
If you ever lock yourself out of your house, just talk to the lock calmly.
Because communication is key.
If you ever get locked out of the house, just talk to the lock.
If you ever get locked out of your home, sit down and talk to the lock calmly
Because communication is key
If you ever get locked out your house, talk to your lock calmly
Because communication is key.
I needed to get my locks changed, but all the local locksmiths were closed...
I thought they were key workers?
If your ever get locked outside of your house just talk to your door lock.
Because communication is key.
If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to you lock calmly because
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
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