Lego made the lock lego
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︎ Nov 17 2020
If you ever get locked out of your house just talk to the lock.
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Knowing how to pick locks...
Has really opened a lot of doors for me.
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︎ Oct 26 2020
My Italian friend always locks himself out of the house...
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︎ Jul 24 2020
I've been stuck in lock down so long I've started writing myself letters
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Dwayne "the Lock" Johnson
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︎ May 31 2020
I needed to get my locks changed, but all the locksmiths were closed... I thought they were key workers?
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︎ Apr 25 2020
Take A Lock At This Will Ya!
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︎ Feb 09 2020
A couple of years ago I learned how to lock pick and it's opened up so many doors for me.
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︎ Feb 14 2020
Just fitted a new door lock
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︎ Apr 07 2020
Petition to lock this sub once a week
Because there's no post on Sunday
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︎ Oct 01 2018
I was testing a lock which opens with a fingerprint, and trying to see how many fingerprints I could store. I've been able to store 10 fingerprints without issue
Because that's all I had on hand.
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︎ Feb 28 2020
How do you break into a cold lock?
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︎ Jan 19 2020
My dad is always embarrassed about cutting himself while getting rid of his beard, so he locks himself in the bathroom...
I guess heβs just trying to shave faceβ¦
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︎ Mar 12 2020
A lady accidentally locks herself out of her car and begins to panic.
A passing soldier notices this, walks over and rolls his pants across the car. Magically, the car unlocks. The woman is relieved but puzzled, asking him how he did it.
"That's easy. These are khakis."
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︎ Dec 24 2018
Grampas has those puns on lock. Xpost
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︎ Aug 18 2019
I just saw your math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper.
I bet he must be plotting something.
u/UsedFloorMatt
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︎ Sep 29 2019
ONE OF MY KIDS BROKE MY CAPS LOCK KEY.
IβM NOT UPSET, BUT DONβT KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT.
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︎ Dec 02 2018
A wizard dies and they lock up his ashes in a lamp
The lamp is then fastened by the sea, just so none of the townsfolk get into trouble. One day, an inquisitive young chap opens the lamp and the wizard starts wreaking havoc upon the town. All the scientists gather and decide to chemically dissolve the lamp. But all the chemicals they have fail to work. They try to burn it, melt it and what not but nothing works. Finally one scientist says βI know exactly what we should do. Pour excessive chemicals and try to dissolve it. I know weβve tried it before but letβs give it another shot.β They bring in acids and other corrosives from the neighbouring cities and pour it on the lamp and it successfully dissolves and the wizard disappears. Everyone is amazed and asks the scientist βHow did you know about the extra chemicals?β The bald, black scientist looks at them and says βOh thatβs easy. Moored urn problems require more darn solutions.β
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︎ Apr 03 2019
CAPS LOCK
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︎ Mar 13 2018
Lock and load
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︎ Apr 25 2019
Am glad that my potato pasta didnβt have a lock on it
Cause there is Gnocchi to open it
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︎ Aug 27 2019
While my wife and I were dating in high school we were at this church lock in. I said, βCanβt wait till we get outta here and I can plant one on yaβ she said, βWhat kinda flowerβ
No hesitation I say, βTulipsβ
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︎ Jun 28 2019
Why do the best baseball players never lock their doors?
Because theyβre always safe at home
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︎ Apr 04 2019
What do you call it when you lose a lock?
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︎ May 11 2019
If you see a chick changing out the locks or cleaning out the pool at an apartment complex, NEVER give her a joint.
Nobody like high maintenance women.
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︎ Apr 21 2019
When I used to be a wrestler, I would get a guy in a head lock and write my name on their forehead.
It was my signature move.
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︎ Aug 11 2018
How do you lock up a ballerina?
You provide enough evidance.
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︎ Oct 09 2018
Why can't you lock your door when it is ajar?
Because it's not a door if it's a jar.
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︎ Sep 13 2018
Why did the edgy teenager lock himself in the freezer ?
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︎ Jul 20 2018
So I've been worried about this malicious software that locks my computer onto an online bowler's website...
But I guess I'm not the only one worried about the E-Bowler virus
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︎ Aug 10 2014
When a musician gets a new lock installed on their front door...
... Is that a key change?
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︎ Jun 09 2018
I found a book about locks...
But I just couldn't get into it.
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︎ May 30 2018
Why did the zookeeper lock baguettes into a cage?
So that they would be bread in captivity
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︎ Feb 27 2018
I'm writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced.
Thereβs a lovely key change at the end.
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︎ Aug 10 2016
What kind of cell phone doesn't have a lock?
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︎ Feb 16 2015
If you ever get locked out of the house, just talk to the lock.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
If you ever get locked out your house, talk to your lock calmly
Because communication is key.
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︎ Sep 21 2020
If you ever get locked out of your home, sit down and talk to the lock calmly
Because communication is key
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︎ Aug 10 2020
If you ever lock yourself out of your house, just talk to the lock calmly.
Because communication is key.
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︎ Jan 18 2020
I needed to get my locks changed, but all the local locksmiths were closed...
I thought they were key workers?
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︎ Apr 25 2020
If your ever get locked outside of your house just talk to your door lock.
Because communication is key.
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︎ Nov 23 2019
If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to you lock calmly because
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︎ Nov 27 2019
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
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︎ Jan 26 2019
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