Apparently it is private.
Just over easy.
Thatβs one of my best dad yolks. Thanks for coming by.
He was in the nighty-night percentile.
I would say urinate.
Though I guess that's just a generalization.
But one of them is definitely Superior.
Him: "It's private."
Me: "No, it's okay, you can tell me."
German Dad: "Nein."
Kernel
He's criminally underrated to be honest.
My 4 year old daughter walked up to me and said "I'm thirsty". Without a second thought I replied "Hi Thirsty, I'm daddy".
I said "Specific."
Many eyes were rolled.
Well, two. Two eyes were rolled.
So last week, my family was returning home on a plane flight, and because we had a lot of luggage, my parents decided to take a taxi. Well, we'd been waiting at the taxi rank for a while, and my dad exclaims: "We've been waiting here ten minutes, and what have we got to chauffeur it?" Groans were had.
Distant uncle: "It has been a long time, you must have grown a foot since I saw you last"
Me: No, I still only have two.
We live in a building with 2 levels of underground parking.
"I like parking on the first floor because the second floor is beneath me."
Corn, it's made up entirely of colonels.
The Colonel of Truth
An infantry
Side note: I will be a first time father at the end of March. I am proud to join the dad joke ranks, my wife and son will learn to appreciate the content from this subreddit π¬
I call it the flip charts.
The workers in a thick Japanese accent said DAT SOON
When in the interrogation room, he told my grandfather
"vee haf vays of making you tock!"
Because theyβve got a Supreme Ruler.
If so, aren't higher ranked vampires technically Neck Romancers?
It's a major faux paw.
Canada should be high in your list of priorities.
... admirable.
A czardine
He quickly achieved the rank of βtreem β, rather high up in the rankings. However, it was not long lasting, as after a series of events he was demoted. His parents grew very annoyed of hearing him talking about having been a treem, his unfair demotion, and how much he hated his new position. Now, the gamerβs family often made little newspapers to share personal achievements and events with their family.
This weeks top headline read, βex-treem dissed appointmentβ.
To get higher, you'll have to be boulder.
Children of the "Quarn"
Edit: at the age of 13, we shall bestow upon them the rank of "Quaran-teen"
For instance, Kang the Conqueror is a fictional supervillain appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. In 2009, Kang was ranked as IGN's 65th Greatest Comic Book Villain of All Time
or
In the Simpsons , Kang is a Rigellian from Rigel 7. He and his sister Kodos continuously try to take over Earth and are usually seen attacking Springfield. Kang and Kodos have a lot of space weaponry at hand and have their own spaceship. They speak the Rigellian language, which, by coincidence, is identical to English. Although they look identical, Kang has a deeper voice than Kodos.
I guess you could say Skippy is a Kang Guru...
GENERAL MILLS
Dad: Don't answer it. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.
I bet the highest ranking military official is a kernel.
Because it runs in jeans
Ok now that all the r/PunPatrol people are gone I am willing to be a spy for your organization. I have currently achieved the rank of supreme admiral punsniffer and have solid evidence on r/PunPatrol's next targets.
Higher ranking members of the Bloods held 9% of the coins that had been mined up to 2014. They suddenly and abruptly destroyed the wallets that contained the bitcoins in late 2014.
It wasnβt discovered until 2017 when a former member spoke to the press when the prices spiked. When asked the reason for destroying the fortune he said βcause itβs a Crip-tocurrencyβ
An ancient Babylonian general was once involved in a plot to overthrow the king. His plot included a number of followers in the upper ranks of the army. However, his plot was uncovered, and the king threw him in jail. The king sentenced him to death without a trial.
However, from the jail he was able to secretly contact his followers to arrange to escape, meet his followers, and attack the king's palace at night. So the night before his scheduled execution, the general managed to escape from prison. He fled to a ziggurat several kilometers away, where his followers would meet him. However, the ziggurat was one of several in the area, and he wasn't sure if his cohorts would find the right ziggurat. By this time it was twilight, so he lit a small fire and sent smoke signals to indicate in which structure he was hiding.
However, the king's loyal soldiers saw the smoke coming from the ziggurat, and came to arrest him before he could meet his followers. He was executed later that day.
The moral of the story? WARNING: The searching general has determined that smoking ziggurats can be extremely hazardous to your stealth.
In the late '60s the government was developing ARPANET and the developers were trying to find a way for users on the system to communicate with each other.
The scientists involved came up with an electronic messaging system that they called the Tickle.
Tickles could be used to send important code updates, meeting invitations, or even just little jokes all along the network.
The DOD heard about these Tickles and asked for a briefing to determine their military potential. At a high-level meeting of generals and admirals, the lead developer presented the Tickle concept.
The ranking General asked for a demonstration and the lead scientist said "Sure, I'll send you a test Tickle."
And that's how E-mail was born.
He was surprised at how large the kernels were. "These kernels are large. So large in fact, that they're major."
So I'm riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning. My dad starts laughing at me...
Dad: "Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?"
Me: "Why dad?"
Dad: "Because it ain't got no Pop! Huehuehuehue!"
