You shouldn't eat stationery.

It could become a staple of your diet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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You can throw an envelope as far as you want, but it’ll still be stationery.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InOPWeTrust
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
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It's stationery. imgur.com/eS4hplL
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blizzrobe777
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redwitch-fr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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Went to buy some pencils from the local stationery shop ...

Only to discover it had moved!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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I made a bicycle by folding up some paper in my desk drawer. It doesn't move though - it's a stationery bike.
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Some puns here do a good job at pushing the envelope. Too bad they'll always be stationery.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirate_of_the_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2016
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In which state is the most stationery made?

Pencil-vania.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
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Son wanted to know where the stationery store was

Same place it's always been. It still hasn't moved.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
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Dad has started selling stationery

And toys. Simultaneously.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scunyorpe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2015
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What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?

Stationary.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seven_Arcadian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Sales are down, so my boss asked why the greeting cards aren't moving

I told him it's because they are stationary

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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I saw a sign the other day, "we sell moving boxes"

I guess they don't sell stationery boxes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pLeThOrAx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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Highway is full of Origami vehicles this evening...

Traffic is described as being stationery...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I have been pushing the envelope all my life

But it still remains stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/letsgetrandy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Why can't pencils and erasers move?

Because they're stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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As much as you might move around an envelope

It'll always be stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_sewer_rat_0900
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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Why does paper never win any races?

Because it's stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FresnelFaro
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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BREAKING NEWS The M6 has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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No matter how much you move your pencils,

they're still stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2016
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What kind of bike do you use to write letters?

A stationery bike.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FYF69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
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Puns for Educated Minds
  1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

  6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

  7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

  8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

  9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

  12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.

  13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

  14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.

  15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

  16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

  17. A backward poet writes inverse.

  18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

  19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

  20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

  21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

  22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!

  23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

  24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

  25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

  26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreshFocusPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
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Dad got me with a bit of wisdom: No matter how much you try to push the envelope...

...it'll always be stationery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CandysaurusRex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
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A paper fell into the water.

It was parchedment. A paper didn't move when the wind blew. It was stationery.

Sorry those paper jokes are tearable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/friedchocolate
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
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No matter how much you push the envelope,

it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the ends.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PewPewWizard2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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What's the difference between a cheetah and office supplies?

One is really fast and the other is stationery.

(I just thought of this one, but it probably already exists in some form because I am not a beautiful and unique snowflake)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLivingExample
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2016
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Why do people care only when a tree falls in the woods?

Trees spring, winter and summer in the woods too (Because they're stationery).

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turddicken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2015
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Moving supply store

My wife, her dad, and I were in the car the other day.

As we drove by a store that advertised moving supplies, her dad said "I wonder how they keep the supplies moving all of the time?"

"Well if they weren't moving, it would be a stationery supply store" I replied.

I still remember the groan from my wife in the back seat.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ“…︎ May 16 2014
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Did you hear about the 50 year old truck driver who only just got his pen license?

He's now licensed to use both stationery and moving vehicles.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Egithis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2016
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Back to school shopping

Little sister in law, "I don't know why, but I really love stationery shopping."

Me, "Me too, so much less walking around."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirJefferE
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2014
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/officemonkey
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2008
🚨︎ report
What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?

Stationery

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awag80
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a paper airplane that doesn't fly?

Stationery

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrjaxson1111
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope

It'll still be stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NachoRaptor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
No matter how hard you push the envelope ...

It'll still be stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope,

It'll always be stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDogg323
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
No matter how far you push the envelope...

It'll always be stationery

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stonefly_C
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope...

It'll always be stationery

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't pen stores move?

Because they're stationery

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rickyburrito
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The local motorway has become blocked after a lorry shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
You should never run with scissors

They should always be stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/busterben98
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
🚨︎ report
No matter how far you push the envelope...

It's still stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mewse_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2015
🚨︎ report
No matter how hard you push the envelope...

It'll always be stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMisterFlux
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2015
🚨︎ report

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