I started up a dating site for chickens, but it's not my main job, I'm just doing itโ€ฆ

โ€ฆto make hens meet.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 224
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I heard Mike Tyson will be launching a Christian dedicated social media site.

He's calling it "Faithbook".

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Chickengun
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You can't run at a camp site.

You can only ran, because it's past tents.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/God_Smith82
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What happens if you give a site foreman an operating system

He'll install windows

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ChickenFuzzNuts
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™s a skeletonโ€˜s favorite porn site

Bonely fans

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/qwesrst
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A widow is mourning at her husband's grave site. A gentleman walks by and says "If you don't mind, I'd like to say a word."

"That would be nice" she said. "Plethora"..... "Thanks, that means a lot."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DaFunkJunkie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I met your mother on a dating site.

I don't know, we just clicked.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 37
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/emezzeta
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I've been messaging a woman on a dating site. She's only 100cm tall.

I can't wait to meter.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brucemoose1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Paddy and his wife are on holiday in England visiting Historical Sites.

"This is where the Magna Carta was signed," said the tour guide, "One the most important documents in English History."

"When was it signed?" asked Paddy.

"1215," said the tour guide.

"OH NO!" said Paddy, "We missed it by 10 minutes!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brucemoose1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Police report says someone was stealing rockwool from a construction site downtown.

Turns out it was an isolated incident.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Reddnvb
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I didn't know my dad stole from construction sites, but...

When I got home, all the signs were there

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/studentadvisor101
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™s a frogs favourite social site?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dwez369
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the new dating site that matches women up with construction workers?

It's called Studfinder.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VomitingPotato
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 05 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A train engineer believed a hospital ship was the site of secret government conspiracy and decides to ram it with his train.

Now that's what I call a loco-motive.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KROMATIXX_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I told my pirate friend with a patch to watch for a letter I sent him that reveals the site of the gold...

He said, I'll keep an eye out for it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I went to get tornado insurance for my camp site, but the bank refused.

They said, โ€œIf your tent gets blown away, you wonโ€™t be covered.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 71
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I just found an origami porn site...

... but itโ€™s paper view only.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 428
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/__kitten
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Tinder match is basically love at first site ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
๐Ÿ‘︎ 29
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tidduu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I joined a Christian dating site...

But I got Holy Ghosted.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kdryan1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A storm came in as we are on the camp site

It was in tents.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NotoriousHothead37
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I'm gonna start a dating site for people with serious mommy and daddy issues.

I'll call it Oedipal Arrangements.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ianmann290
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Two detectives were investigating a murder at a construction site

The evidence wasn't concrete.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Dave and Joe are browsing a Jerusalem dating site.

Dave sees the girl of his dreams and asks Joe, โ€œI canโ€™t believe my eyes, is this girl real?โ€

Joe pats his buddy Dave on the back, โ€œYea bud, she Isreal.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Abram_SF
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I just caught my son googling porn web sites, and Iโ€™m completely heartbroken.

We are strictly a Bing family.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 174
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I got a job at a construction site to drill holes

Its a boring job

๐Ÿ‘︎ 96
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kinjago
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A dating site for depressives called "Loves Company".

Cos misery loves company!

(I'm so going to hell for this joke... Worth it.)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wolfyfancylads
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
It is with deepest regret that I have to inform you all, my poultry dating site will be closing down,

as I can no longer make hens meet!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 48
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Twigsnapper
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
There was a suspicious โ€˜accidentโ€™ at a construction site. The police investigated all the workers at the job site . . .

It looked like foul play. The mason wasnโ€™t a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldnโ€™t hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.

Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasnโ€™t a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didnโ€™t stick and the jury let him roll off clean.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 146
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dirty_Entendre
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A duck walks into a bar after a long day of work on a building site

He hops onto a barstool and asks the bartender for a club sandwich and a pint of Guinness , the bartender says "WOW! A talking duck" he is very surprised but gets him his sandwich and pint anyway

The next night the duck comes in and hops onto a barstool and asks the bartender for a club sandwich and a pint of Guinness, the bartender says "WOW! I wasn't dreaming about the talking duck, he came back again" and gets him his sandwich and pint

Once again the duck comes back again the next night and orders his club sandwich and pint of Guinness, the bartender is fairly normalised to the duck now and gets him his sandwich straight away

Over the next week the duck comes in everyday and gets his regular order of a pint of guiness and he and the bartender become good friends, one day the bartender saw an advert for a circus on his way to work. When the duck comes in and orders his club sandwich and pint of guiness the bartender tells him about how he would do great in the circus. The duck doesn't understand and asks the bartender "what would they want with me, I'm only a brick layer"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/alexoherlihy25
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I want to go visit historical sites in Pennsylvania

Does anyone know the Gettysburg address?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VaiterZen
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Great name idea for a porn site

Nutflix

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/prepamaddy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If it existed, what kind of social networking site would Jesus use?

Faithbook.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Joshifi3d
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I never wanted to believe that my son was stealing from his job at the construction site

But when I got home, all the signs were there

๐Ÿ‘︎ 193
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MildBanana
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
This site seems corny
๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TrueVexus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Corn site

I've been getting into cornography lately! Do y'all know of any good corn sites? I'm a big fan of hard core schucking, but I like the occasional slow stuff.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bigboi_blue
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Police just arrested a lurker with a knife hiding in people's sleeping gear at a popular camping site.

He was charged with criminal in-tent.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Killjoy13337
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You can only ran through a camp site...

since it is past tents...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/komanation
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You can't run through a camp site.

You can only ran, because it's past tents.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 38
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/schiggy182
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I've just started up a dating site for chickens. It's not my normal day job, I'm just doing itโ€ฆ

โ€ฆto make hens meet.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 288
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I tried to get insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.

They said, โ€œIf your tent gets destroyed, you wonโ€™t be covered.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You can't run through a camp site.

You can only ran, because it's past tents.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 116
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I tried to buy tornado insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.

They said, โ€œIf your tents get blown over, you wonโ€™t be covered.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 122
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I've just started up a dating site for chickens.

Its not my normal day job, I'm just doing it to make Hens meet.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 42
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thewargingned
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You can't run through a camp site...

You can only ran, cause it's past tents

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Datboifritz113
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You can't run through a camp site.

You can only ran, because its past tents.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 221
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LordDobbington
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I saw a dog at a construction site..

.. was the roofer

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rjchawk
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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