Just hand made my first welcome sign, what do ya think?
I saw a sign that said “watch for kids”
Sounded like a great deal!
Sign language is Punny
'Pasteurized milk' in sign language is 'Milk' Past your eyes.
I just saw a sign that made me piss myself..
It said; "TOILET CLOSED."
The other day I saw a bucket at the hardware store with a sign that said: dead batteries - $1 each.
I thought to myself “these should be free of charge”.
Saw a sign that made me piss myself today.
The guy who created the sign "Caution Do Not Touch" in braille,
Did you know that the Average African Leopard can jump higher than a stop sign?
This is because as far as I know stop signs can’t jump.
My dad and I went hunting one time. We saw a sign that said "bear left"
A blind man was hit with sign at my local protest
While passing a "Lots for Sale" sign...
My dad asks "They have lots of what for sale?" with a shit-eating grin.
The guy who created the sign CAUTION HOT SURFACE in braille...
Sign outside strip club shuttered due to COVID-19:
“From a neighbor who posts dad jokes on little signs in his front yard. Started during the isolation to cheer up the community”
Ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I’ll let you know”
My barber wanted we to sign a contract before cutting my hair, but I refused...
I wouldn't accept his perms and conditions.
What do get if you cross Sadé with a minus sign?
A smooth operator (smoooooth opperrateerer)
The upvote sign is not pointless 😉
From The Simpsons S30E03, My Way Or the Highway to Heaven, in which Ned is a trampoline salesman. The Simpsons writers surely love their puns. This is even funnier given Net's straight-laced nature and what the sign unwittingly implies. A classic double entendre.
Walked by a house with a broken window and a sign in the window saying "don't rock the boat".
Looks like somebody rocked your house
From the daily sign of the El Arroyo restaurant in Austin TX
What did the strip club sign say when they closed for Covid?
What does the sign say at the exit of the sperm bank?
This sign at the Urologist actually took some stress away for my Vascetomy consult after a heartly chuckle.
Why can't you sign a check outside?
Because you have to endorse.
Why is sign language more effective than regular speech?
Because actions speak louder than words.
How do you speak sign language?
To all the protesters holding up the "I need a haircut" signs, we should all be yelling...
Dairy Queen’s sign in there shop. “Ridiculous” but as RiDQulous
Found this glove zip tied to the stop sign across from my house.
What did the sign on the out of service brothel say?
Aliens in the movie : There seems to be no SIGN of intelligent life anywhere.
Two friends are on a road trip and one if them sees a sign stating they are approaching Louisville. One says "we should stop in 'Louie-ville' for lunch. The other says it's not pronounced 'Louie-ville', it's 'Louis-ville'!
They go back and forth for a while, neither convincing the other that they are right. Finally they decide on a place to eat. When they get to the restaurant, one of the friends asks the person taking their order to settle it once and for all. "Me and my friend are having a debate and hopefully since you live here, you can set my friend straight. Would you please tell us... and say it clear and slow for my friend here... where are we?"
The person behind the counter gets a puzzled look on his face, then says
>!"Buuuuuurrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiiiiinnnnggg"!<
I saw a sign today that made me piss myself
I just read about an electric sign company that is having problems due to covid 19
They got rid of all their neon essential employees.
I was walking pasta farm and a sign said "Duck,Eggs"
I thought-"that's an unnecessary comma-then it hit me"
The sign in the bathroom said “employees must wash hands”.
I waited over two hours for an employee to come in to wash my hands before I washed them myself and went home.
Did you hear about the new sign they put on the lawn of the rehab center?
It says “Keep off the grass”
US signs treaty with the Taliban
Brand new star sign
I didn't win the competition to name a new star sign, but I was awarded a constellation prize.
Posted on a sign outside the gynecologist's office:
Dr. Jones - at your cervix
Saw a sign that said "TAN FREE TODAY!"
Joke's on them; I'm tan-free every day!
The sign in this restaurant says “Please wait for hostess to be seated.”
I’ve been here two hours and she is still on her feet.
I saw a sign that said 'do not touch', however there was something weird about the sign....
I couldn't put my finger on it....
Nobody has ever shown up to the sign language club.
It’s too bad nobody has heard of it.
I saw a sign that said "Rest area 25 miles"...
I thought,wow, that's pretty big
I saw a lift with a sign attached that said "due to an error, this lift can't go down"
My first thought was, "well, that's uplifting"
Saw this sign in front of a hair salon and it made me laugh
What does the sign say outside of an out of business brothel?
I failed no nut November because I saw a donut store sign and I read "do nut"
I don't speak sign language.
A local town (Bulls, New Zealand) has signs with bull puns scattered across the town at points of interest.
What kind of insurance does an i.t. guy have to sign up for?
Just reached the coast of Labrador, looking for signs of retrievers.
(what my dad texted me from the airplane home)
Ever see those "End Road Work. Thank you." signs?
For years I thought we just had polite protestors.
Do I know sign language?
No, I haven't even heard of it.
“Chelsea’s Pizza” I said, reading a sign as we walked. My son replied “Did you say Elsa’s Pizza?” Realizing the opportunity I said “No, but what kind of pizza would they serve at Elsa’s Pizza?
“Frozen pizza” said my son, rolling his eyes.
“Exactly, my son. Frozen pizza.”
This sign is strange but I can’t put my finger on it
seen a stop sign that was missing one of its screws and just hanging there upside down today..
I think everyone should learn sign language
Saw a sign at the store that said "used batteries"
I'm guessing they were free of charge.
It is weird to see signs that say "In case of fire, don't use elevator". Everyone knows water is better to put on fires than an elevator.
I saw a guy waiting at airport arrivals with a sign. I said why are you standing there with a sign that says “No one”? ....
He said “It’s for Mr Noone” you bozo.
What the local Hungry Howies changed their sign to after someone crashes their car into it.
Making a sign for work. Any puns for thousand island dressing?
What zodiac sign are you? I´m a
So I saw a sign on a toilet that said it was built to shit,
I kinda thought that was crappy advertising.
My aunt's astrological sign was cancer, funny to consider how she died
She was killed by a giant crab
Why do they put deer crossing signs in the middle of the highway?
They should put them at intersections or in school zones, where it’s much safer for the deer to cross.
From a post that had a vet sign that said "show us ur kitties"
The road sign said “Watch for Falling Rocks”
I checked the time and thought, “Ok fine, but I only have 5 minutes.”
My friends star sign was cancer and it was quite ironic how he died really
He was attacked by a giant crab
I was in the car with my 10 year old daughter and there was a sign that said road works ahead. She’s said road works ahead , that’s a relief. I’ve never been so proud to be a dad.
I was walking past a farm and a sign said: Duck, eggs.
I thought, that's an unnecessary comma. Then it hit me.
Sign at a convenience store:Our credit manager is Helen Waite...
If you want credit go to Helen Waite
That’s a good sign when you ask nicely.
Sign language is quite handy.
What's the first sign of madness?
The heavy heavy monster sound.
This out of order elevator sign
A dad must be in charge of the local churches sign
Fun Fact; There used to be 20 zodiac signs...
Then came the zodiac killer
There would be less, but he was a Leo Minor.
The 5 signs of forgetfulness:
I saw a strange picket line on the way home today. The workers were carrying signs saying "WE MAKE TOO MUCH MONEY”
Then I noticed they were outside the mint.
I saw a sign at a roadside stand that read, ''Lobster Tails £1.5" so I stopped the car, walked over and handed my money to the proprietor. He looked me in the eyes, took a deep breath and said...
"Once upon a time there was this
Even street signs have punny humor
I saw a sign while driving that said "Watch for Children."
Sounds like a fair trade.
I think everyone should learn sign language,
Everyone should learn sign language