Yesterday I saw a radio on sale for a dollar. The sign said that the volume was stuck on full.

I thought, well, I can’t turn that down.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Erbearlee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Curious

A guy sees a sign in front of a house:

"Talking Dog for Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the mutt replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

The owner says, "Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"

The owner replies, "'Cause he's fucking liar. He didn't do any of that shit."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spazpekker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Money joke

At the snowball stand they had a sign that said no bills larger than 20. My Dad pulls out a $100 bill and a $20 dollar bill and compares them in size and argues. Needless to say, she didn’t budge, I laughed though

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Kid told me about a dream...

My son told me about a dream last night where he got a million dollars for his autograph. My response? "If someone's autograph is worth a lot of money... that's a really good sign."

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pastorjeff2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.