Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebkbk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. /r/Weekness/comments/erz6…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpurvisturton
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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I am going to name my first born Mark

So after I die, I'll have left my Mark on this world.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hiddengerms
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2017
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Guys, to be frank

I would have to change my name

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wombat_Lejek
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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My son always asks for a bookmark...

And I always tell him my name is not Mark

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Desenzitized
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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We had an IDEA...

Back a few decades, I was working in a program with a local college in the Middle East.

The name of the program for ExPats has the clever acronym of "IDEA" (hey, I said it was clever); which stands for "Inter-Departmental Educational Adjunct". It's interdepartmental because my particular specialty not only covers field geology but also paleontology and a bit of archeology thrown in for good measure. Everyone hopes to have a good IDEA...

ahem...

Well, we saddle up and head for the Dune Sea out in the west of the country, where the Precambrian, Cambrian, Silurian, Cretaceous, Pliocene, Pleistocene, and Holocene crop out and access is relatively easy and non-injurious.

Well, we caravan out, some 30 Land Cruisers, Nissan patrol, and the odd Mitsubishi Galloper strong. We all get our maps, compasses and split up into 5 or 6 special interest groups ("SIG's"); where each IDEA has his own GPS and LIDAR laser ranging apparatus. Reason being, that there are very few benchmarks out in the desert, and even those are constantly at the mercy of the shifting and ever-blowing sands.

Since we're split into groups and at any one time, ranging up to and including some 50 km2, when a real find is located, a device called the "DIME" (Digital-Interface Monitor Encoder) is attached and programmed into the GPS for location later; it is a digital sort of low-frequency transponder, developed from technology used by offshore drillers and jacket setters where benchmarks are even more transitory.

The way it works is rather simple. When something is to be marked for later retrieval, a series of wooden posts are pounded in a triangular manner around the find and the DIME is set, programmed with the GPS and attached to one or more of the posts.

That's the theory, at least.

Everything works well, especially all the hardened electronics and computer gizmos, but attaching the DIME to the stakes is the real problem. It can't be nailed, screwed or fastened with any sort of metal contrivance as that farkles the magnetic field and causes all sorts of goofy spurious signals. Zip ties don't last long in the heat and duct tape is right out. Many sites have been lost to the shifting sands this way.

Velcro doesn't work too well, as the sand fills the hooks of the receiving piece of velcro and soon renders it useless. String or fishing line work, but that's temporary (they melt). Glue or mastic are out as these are supposed to be temporary. Even plastic sleeves don't work due to the heat out

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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I just got a hairlipped dog.

I named him Mark

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skormes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Cop 1: Did the suspect have a birthmark?

Cop named Mark: He is alive, so I’m going to say β€”Yes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesn’t Hang Solow!


Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money? Because he’s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.


Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.


Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.


What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.


What is a jedi’s favorite toy? A yo-yoda


What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2


Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt


What is Jabba the Hutt’s middle name? β€œThe” Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he’s solo.


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who won’t fight? A Sithy.


What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.


What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2


Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.


Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt


Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe


What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett


What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke


Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.


Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn


What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones


Why did

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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I can't find any of the left-handed weights at my gym.

I can only find right-handed plates, marked by a capital R next to the manufacturer's name.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cknight18
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
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My coworkers groaned every time I mentioned it

A coworker last night named Mark accidentally left a bottle of water at my station. To make sure he gets it next time he comes in, I wrote his name on it with a sharpie.

I've been telling people I Marked the bottle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuebic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2016
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My dad came out with a classic tonight.

A bit of context: my sister just got home tonight from visiting family for new year. One of my cousins that she was visiting is pregnant, and she's been seeing the father for about a year but because they live a 6hour drive away, we've dont really know much about him.

My dad is pretty close with my cousins, so he was asking my sister about the guy and his family.

Dad: So, does he have any brothers or sisters?

My sister: Yeah, he's got a brother.

Dad: Oh, what's his name?

My sister: Mark, I think

Dad: That's a weird name, MarkIthink...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RaineyDays
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2014
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Today my son asked β€œCan I have a book mark?” And I burst into tears. 15 years and he still doesn’t know my names Brian.

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackTMJones
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

Rip

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TiltedDaniel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/digitalsadia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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My son came up to me and asked:

"Can I have a book mark" I burst out in tears, he's 11 years old and can't remember that my name is Brian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Oh hi Mark

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/inviktusmaneo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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My son

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Averagegloomer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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.......

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danbroi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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