The decorations were from a second hand store
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ha-Ka-Tu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Believe it or not, my wife appreciates my input when we go shopping for decorations...

...the one thing I actually look forward to when we go to Hobby Lobby is the moment we're walking through the store, I try to keep a perfectly straight face and act like I have a genuine interest in something on the shelf, I reach up and I say something like, "Oh, look at this nice little Stool sample!"

(Not really a joke, but a true dad joke recurring scenario of mine)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Christmas decoration made out off $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leobloom23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
To avoid taking down my Xmas decorations...

....I am turning my house into a Chinese restaurant.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Just got back from a walk looking at all the decorations.

Pisses me off how early people are putting their Christmas lights up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValanLucasCircus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?

Gnomads.

(I'm not a dad but I came up with this one last year and have been dying to share it.)

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadLuck627
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a sore throat after eating some Christmas decorations.

I had to get my tinsels taken out.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Why do bottomless shoes count as Halloween decorations.

Because they have no soles.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilleyal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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What is a pirate’s favorite holiday decoration?

GARR-land

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrPewpew
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter, Eliza, kept asking me to use my 3D printer to make monogrammed chairs for her dolls. Last Sunday I printed over 100 of them. She was so happy. She started putting them on everything for decoration.

We had a Sunday, everything with a chair E on top.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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My easter decoration is an egg-cellent break dancer. v.redd.it/t563s1xkfas41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyratemime
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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It's tradition in my family to always put up the Chris-mas decorations the day after Thanksgiving
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JamilliousThePaws
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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364 days until Christmas and people ALREADY have their decorations up. /r/oneliners/comments/eg1…
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wiedmaier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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so for Christmas I decided to hang a decoration that shows both my love for music and for our founding fathers

It’s a wreath of Franklin

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metalsgt90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you eat Christmas decorations?

You get tinsel-itis.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't know if it's just me or the new decorations, but every time I go to the bathroom...

I lose my shit.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueBasketBall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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I always put up decorations for christmas

Even though they never pay rent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pndaberrybruh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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My Dad is so cheap he uses our family tree as a Christmas Tree and the ancestors become the decorations.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shagminer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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You know, son, Christmas isn't about the presents and the decorations and stuff.

It's about the food.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iHyperVenom_YT
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I hung some pieces of rope on the wall for decoration

It really ties the room together

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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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Halloween Decorations
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkspaptrl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
So I made some wooden letters spelling β€œspirit” for a mantle decoration.

My issue is that I rushed the β€œi” and the β€œt” and the bottoms are uneven so they won’t stay upright

I can’t stand it

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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In a cafe, I just saw a dad walk up to a girl on a ladder taking down Christmas decorations.

Are you supposed to be working when you're high?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Muskwatch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Friend uses a lot of small candles as decorations.

Her place looks tealight-ful

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CronoZero15
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2016
🚨︎ report
Got my mum when we were putting up Christmas decorations

Me: I really like the nativity scene.

Mum: yeah? It's nice

Me: I have a crèche on it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajd011394
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
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My son tore a paper ghost decoration.

My wife was going to throw it out but I said we should just write RIP on it

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1MoAgain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2016
🚨︎ report
So were putting away christmas decorations...

Im on a ladder putting away boxes and as my dad hands me a box, I ask them if it's heavy.

He replies,

No there lights.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlazeDozer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2015
🚨︎ report
My sister tried showing my dad a picture of her Christmas decorations

His response: Carol, stop! I dont need the nativity in my life

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Two34five
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2016
🚨︎ report
My wife asked what I thought of the new decorations
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turtle_flu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2016
🚨︎ report
They said I had to contribute to the Christmas decorations...

I made a Christmas Crackern!

http://imgur.com/a/vrfzs

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jand2013
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2015
🚨︎ report
Getting down the Christmas Decorations..

So my Pops asks if I could help him get the Christmas "stuff" down from the loft with him. We have a loft above the garage where we store seasonal decorations.

He'll go up in the loft and I'll stand on the middle of the ladder, where he hands me the plastic containers, which I'll place on the floor.

As soon as he gets up there I see that the most accessible and logical box to take down first is the one with the wrapping paper. I reach for it and he shoos me away coming up with an excuse to leave it up there for the time being.

Right then and there I knew exactly what he was doing and I couldn't stop it.

We get the absurd amount of containers down until there's only the one left. He hands it too me and says, "Whelp.. that about wraps it up. Haha."

It's not even that good and I knew it was coming for the whole half-hour, but never the less I rolled my eyes and gave him his moment of glory. He deserves it.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wh33zi3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
🚨︎ report
The craft store is selling tiny wood coffins for Hallowe'en decorations.

I took one to my girlfriend, went down to one knee, presented the little black casket. I said, "Jamie, would you bury me?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NobodyWhatsoever
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2015
🚨︎ report
So I have a snifter glass of clipped basil leaves on my desk as a piece of decoration...

And my dad looks at it and goes, "It's a small bouquet in every sense of the word! Triple pun, hoo baby!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trepwn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
🚨︎ report
While shopping for fall decorations with my daughter...

...we stopped off by a store that had lots of fall flowers and pumpkins, including various sizes of mums in different colors. My daughter wanted a couple of the biggest yellow mums to put on either side of our front door, which were crazy expensive. I told her, "I'm a little tight on money right now, so let's keep our purchases to a mini-mum."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grobmyer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2013
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Christmas decoration made of $100 bills that can play R&B hits?

Aretha Franklins.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you eat christmas decorations?

Tinselitis!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sparkleworks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinselitis

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harrywhoover
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
🚨︎ report

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