When it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, I've got a leg up on the competition. My cat says I passed out under the tree again, but I told her to stop pulling my leg.
Did some Christmas Cake decorating
What’s a drug addicts favourite part of decorating the ginger bread house?
Today I started decorating the Christmas tree with my kids....
But they started screaming and complaining, so I had to take them down.
Instead of decorating my whole house this year, I decided to put all of my lights in my drinks cupboard instead..
We'll Christmas is all about Makings Spirits Bright
My friend tried to sell me his used Easter egg decorating kit...
I said, "no thanks. I'll Paas."
What do you call an Asian home decorating show?
I just finished decorating our bathroom,
I learned through tile and error.
This Dad... Juust in time for Xmas decorating ,or how to get out of it.
https://imgur.com/gallery/yjl3w
Wife was decorating the house for the fall
"I never know what to put on the fireplace mantle."
"You should put a bunch of Disney figurines on it, with the mouse in the middle... it can be the Mickey Mantle."
"I ... need to go vomit."
SO got me today while decorating the Christmas tree
(He hands me an ornament of a small teddy bear in overalls)
Me: where should I put this one?
Him: how about right there?
Me: yeah, that would be good
Him: yeah that spot just looked a little bare
Me: (looks at the little bear in my hand)(laughs uncontrollably for several minutes while daughter stares at us)
Wife and I are decorating for Christmas
She says: "That's where I put the tree bow!"
I say: "You mean the Tim Treebow?"
My son just got me while Christmas decorating
I was putting up my Christmas tree lights while my wife and my 10 year old read over a list of obscure phobias.
"Hey Dad what's the fear if Santa called?"
Claustrophobia
Not so much a "joke" but I think it fits. Decorating for a Halloween Party
We have a minifridge we stocked with beer for the party, and I put a sign on the fridge that says "BOO-ze"
My roommate just shook his head and walked away.
Decorating the Christmas tree with my mom
Mom: do you see any bare spots on the tree?
Dad: I don't even see any bears.
My Mom's Caption: "We're ketchup-ing on Christmas decorating." (x-post:Pics)
Decorating by my uncle
My aunt was looking around our house at the christmas decorations and says to her husband "Oh, we have to decorate, Ron"
He looked up at her baffled "Why do we have to decorate me?"
My dad and holiday decorating
The decorations were from a second hand store
What do you call a Christmas decoration made out off $100 bills?
To avoid taking down my Xmas decorations...
....I am turning my house into a Chinese restaurant.
Just got back from a walk looking at all the decorations.
Pisses me off how early people are putting their Christmas lights up.
What do gangstas decorate their Christmas trees with?
My one friend told me that even though I decorate the church for the holidays...
I probably shouldn't go around calling myself a proud cross dresser.
Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?
Gnomads.
(I'm not a dad but I came up with this one last year and have been dying to share it.)
I got a sore throat after eating some Christmas decorations.
I had to get my tinsels taken out.
Had a painter and decorator round this week. He's a furloughed airline pilot...
He made a lovely job of the landing!
Why do bottomless shoes count as Halloween decorations.
Because they have no soles.
What is a pirate’s favorite holiday decoration?
How did the frustrated husband decorate the christmas tree?
This time of year we switch out our old decorative squash for a new one -
It's the traditional changing of the gourd.
What did Jesus the Interior Decorator say in his final moments?
My business of making T-shirts decorated with dayglo currency was struggling, so I asked my dad for advice.
He said, “I’ve told you a million times, money doesn’t glow on Tees.”
My daughter, Eliza, kept asking me to use my 3D printer to make monogrammed chairs for her dolls. Last Sunday I printed over 100 of them. She was so happy. She started putting them on everything for decoration.
We had a Sunday, everything with a chair E on top.
We’ve just had a decorator in to do some work. I got chatting to him, and it turns out he is a pilot on furlough, earning a bit of cash.
He did a lovely job of the landing.
I have had a decorator in this week. Turns out he is normally a Pilot for BA, but has been furloughed due to Corona.
He did a lovely job of the landing.
I am going to decorate my next christmas tree with miniature tnt sticks instead of candy canes
Oh tannen-bomb oh tannen-bomb...
What about the star?
My husband and I finally finished decorating the Christmas tree tonight. There’s always a star and we forgot to grab the box from the basement. I said to my husband, “What about the star?” Without skipping a beat, he says, “It’s 2020. Zero stars.”
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
My friend invented highly explosive decorative flooring...
I quit my job of drilling holes in decorative wooden plaques...
It's tradition in my family to always put up the Chris-mas decorations the day after Thanksgiving
My friend wanted me to run some moonshine in decorative bottles out of state for him, but I'm wary...
That's pretty whiskey business.
How does the sea decorate for Christmas
so for Christmas I decided to hang a decoration that shows both my love for music and for our founding fathers
It’s a wreath of Franklin
What happens when you eat Christmas decorations?
My kids are going to decorate the Christmas tree this year.
It's cheaper than tinsel and baubles.
I don't know if it's just me or the new decorations, but every time I go to the bathroom...
I always put up decorations for christmas
Even though they never pay rent
What do you call a Christmas decoration made of $100 bills that can play R&B hits?
We’ve just had a decorator in to do some work on the house. I got chatting to him and it turns out he is a British Airways pilot who’s been furloughed and earning a bit of extra cash.
He made a lovely job of the landing.
Just had a painter and decorator round, hes a furloughed Virgin Atlantic pilot.
He made a lovely job of the landing....
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