Sized Puns

A list of puns related to "Sized"

My kid wanted to talk to ghosts; we found three guys willing to intervene. One was very tall, one was very short and the other was mid-sized.

I chose the 3rd guy as he was the medium.

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👤︎ u/dwarvenfriend
📅︎ Jan 01 2021
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Have you heard of the new travel sized chocolate truffles?

Pocket Lindts...

Credit: Twitter

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👤︎ u/Daehtop_Yrrah
📅︎ Jan 09 2021
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Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?

Shear size

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👤︎ u/CascadePSA
📅︎ Nov 25 2020
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Son: There's a life-sized "Leg lamp" at the light display! It's like 4 feet tall!

Me: No, it's only one foot.

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👤︎ u/thirteen_20
📅︎ Nov 25 2020
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Did you hear about the monster-sized piece of cheese destroying the city?

It's Gorgonzilla!

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👤︎ u/Xero19
📅︎ Aug 28 2020
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I hate being average sized

My shirts always try to contact ghosts

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👤︎ u/RoadhouseRocco
📅︎ Sep 25 2020
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What do you call plus sized bees?

O-bees

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👤︎ u/tabrown223
📅︎ Jun 13 2020
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Physicians work alone, or in mid-sized teams

because two of them together would be a paradox.

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👤︎ u/Naitraen
📅︎ May 15 2020
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I also knew someonewho felt morally obligated to drive an economy sized Honda

She felt it was her Civic duty

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👤︎ u/arthurdent6
📅︎ Mar 02 2020
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I knew someone who would only drive an economy sized Chevy

I thought, well that's a Cavalier attitude

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👤︎ u/arthurdent6
📅︎ Mar 02 2020
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A cousin of mine is in charge of distribution for this big pickle company; he was freaking out over the weekend after sending only miniature pickle chips to a restaurant that asked for full sized ones..

They told him it wasn't a big dill, though.

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👤︎ u/Y33T-HAW
📅︎ Jan 16 2020
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Large birds are ostracized for being ostrich-sized.
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👤︎ u/ApfelCore
📅︎ Mar 12 2019
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What is a human-sized ant known as?

A GI-ANT.

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👤︎ u/kaushik_220601
📅︎ Jul 24 2019
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Shouldn't Fun- sized Baby Ruth bars be called Preemie Ruths?
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👤︎ u/Murphy223
📅︎ Aug 08 2019
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America is home of the king sized everything.

Even our Ariana's are grande

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👤︎ u/Billy_Bayou
📅︎ May 08 2019
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In one lost episode, Superman almost dies because he was wearing the wrong sized cloak.

He had a narrow S cape.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Nov 25 2018
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What do you call a normal sized thermometer?

Fare in height

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👤︎ u/butt3rnugg3t
📅︎ Mar 05 2019
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Why did Apple celebrate the release of their plus-sized phone?

Because it was a huge 6s.

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👤︎ u/jpbrunette
📅︎ Jan 11 2017
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I'd make a joke about using insect protein in bite-sized pancakes, but it would be a little flippant
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👤︎ u/Saguine
📅︎ Sep 06 2017
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Had a friend loading up those large poster-sized post-it notes for a meeting...

Told him he should stick with it.

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👤︎ u/ponderingfox
📅︎ May 15 2018
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The Boyfriend put queen sized sheets on our full sized mattress. He came out of the room and hit me with this:

"There ya go, now we have plenty of sheet to fight over."

bahaha. Congratulations silly boyfriend - you're goin' on the internets.

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👤︎ u/SalivatingMoron
📅︎ Oct 02 2014
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