My kids know my love of puns and Star Wars. One just sent me this.
I maintain a small pun page on Facebook because a bunch of my family and friends would "complain" every time I'd post an image pun to my personal page.
My 17 year old step-son just sent me this one for the page. I'm so proud of him.
A thief in a small town stole all the toilets...
Police issued a statement saying they had 'nothing to go on'
What washes up on the shores of small beaches?
making it this far has been no small feet
Pokemon cards? Yeah i've got a small collection.
- Me: why the heck is there small rodents in my drink?
- Waiter: you asked for some mice!
Many Folks Don’t Know that Santa Often has to Clean the Small Bits of Poo from his Reindeer Butts.
They call them Jingle Berries.
How is a small municipality governed?
By an Itty Bitty City Committee
What philosopher appealed to only a small, select group of people?
What did the big boob say to the small boob?
Why don’t elephants like small cars
Because they need more truck space.
What do you call a small cell phone?
What did Apple call the small country they bought off the coast of Wales?
My toes fell asleep after I wore shoes that were too small
What do you call a small group of crying, pleasant-smelling, chivalrous heroes?
What's a small, carnivorous mammal's favorite mafia game?
I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.
I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.
I called the front desk and they told me they had a doctor on staff.
After he made me feel better, I told him I was amazed that such a small place had a doctor.
He nodded and said "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INN PHYSICIAN!!!!
What state is famously known for selling small soft drinks?
I used to work in a small infantry division that lost its heavy artillery budget...
...It really was a tankless job.
A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Legoland
The damage is expected to be 50 square blocks.
If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?
Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks??
They are definitely KINDER
Doctor: Relax, David. It’s just a small surgery, don’t panic.
Me: my name isn’t David.
Doctor: I know. I’m David.
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
What did the small pepper say to the big pepper?
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small flashlight
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
We had a critical issue at work today, the icons on the monitor screen were small
It took us a while to work out a proper resolution
What do you get when you mix alcohol with pressure in a small space?
Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?
A tiny part of me says yes.
What cheese do you use to hide a small horse?
One small step for dad jokes, one large step for pun lines...
Attila the Hun had a pet snake who refused to eat.
He tried everything: rodents, small animals, and even cuts from larger animals, but it wouldn't eat.
As a last resort, he offered a virgin, but still the snake wouldn't eat. So, he called up the village's wise man.
Without hesitation, the wise man put two pieces of bread on the woman, and the snake ate her whole.
When Attila asked why, the wise man responded,
"Thine anaconda don't want nun unless you've got buns, hun!"
The Mafia killed a man in a rice field because of a dispute over a small trinket
It was a knick-knack paddy whack
I just saw 10 ants frantically running around my kitchen. I felt bad so I built them a small house.
Now I’m their landlord and I collect rent from my tenants.
I heard Giuliani dyed?
It leaked a few days ago.
I have an irrational fear of being in a small room, packed with Germans.
I told my doctor and he said I have Klaustrophobia.
I hate living inside a small fungus...
Two British monks set up a small snack stand at the parish fair.
They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was
the chip monk!
My friend who worked at an orange soda factory said they had small boats in thier factory
I heard they go sailing on the hi-c's
How do you fit an Elephant into a Safeway bag?
You take the ‘S’ out of Safe and the ‘F’ out of way!
I’m not the mouth, the stomach, the small or large intestines
How is a small municipality governed?
By an itty bitty city committee
What do you call a small mum?
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