Discussing Power Circuit Sizing with my Boss...

Boss: 50 HP? That's a lot of amperage. We might want to install the larger circuit in the first place.

Me: So then, should I call the electrician and run the future current past them?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blindfire40
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2015
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When you order a large combo meal in north korea what size is your drink?

1 supreme liter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oppy1984
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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Which size bra holds the most salty water?

A sea-cup!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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I was at the store with my wife picking out a turkey and she seemed unimpressed by the size. She asked "do they get any bigger?"

I looked her in the eyes and replied "no honey, they're dead."

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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So yall know how people used wooden dentures in the 19th century? I wonder if women ever tried or thought of using the same idea to increase boob size.

That would be something, now wooden tit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phx14_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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The car dealership in my town just doubled its size.

Now it can offer a whole lot more.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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My kid wanted to talk to ghosts; we found three guys willing to intervene. One was very tall, one was very short and the other was mid-sized.

I chose the 3rd guy as he was the medium.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwarvenfriend
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Have you heard of the new travel sized chocolate truffles?

Pocket Lindts...

Credit: Twitter

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daehtop_Yrrah
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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A guy told me the size of my heart matters more than my physical size.

Good thing I went to the cardiologist before the gym.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kngfbng
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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I saw a drunk dude riding in a boat on the chests of four women with average bust size, one of whom had a single mastectomy.

He was sailing on the seven C’s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.

It's an equal Adderall triangle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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A man who had just died was delivered to the mortuary wearing a beautiful black suit.

The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says β€œI don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, β€œwhatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says β€œthere’s no charge.” Shocked she replies β€œno really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” β€œHonestly ma’am”, the mortician says, β€œit costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaladinDanza
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Loofahs comes in 4 different sizes...

Small, Medium, Large and Vandross.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?

Shear size

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CascadePSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Son: There's a life-sized "Leg lamp" at the light display! It's like 4 feet tall!

Me: No, it's only one foot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Ive invented a product that increases the size of your basement...

I hope it is a big cellar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.

Because it’s capsized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the biggest size of soup you can order in restaurants?

Souper size

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
To all the women out there who say size doesn’t matter:

You are all extremely shallow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DwelveDeeper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?

A tiny part of me says yes.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lez566
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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I just got thrown out of my local park for arranging the squirrels by height.

They didn’t like my critter sizing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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My friend is annoyed because his dog keeps trying to pick fights with dogs five times his size.

I told him he shouldn’t have adopted that Cocky Spaniel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaLiquidX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Did you hear about the monster-sized piece of cheese destroying the city?

It's Gorgonzilla!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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LPT: If you don't want to buy sandwiches to your co-workers, just buy them with mistakes: Other kind of bread, other size...

Sorry, wrong sub

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potato23860
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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I hate being average sized

My shirts always try to contact ghosts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoadhouseRocco
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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What size shoes does a bear wear?

He wouldn't wear shoes. He's got bare feet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShawnOfTheDread
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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Fortune tellers only come in one size

Mediums

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sq009
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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What size of bed did Freddie Mercury sleep in?

Queen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moralTortilla
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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My daughter was so amazed at the size of her moms woman toes.

I offered to show her my mentos.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/postedByDan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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My wife was just trying to convince me to spend $1k on a new king size bed...

...I told her I’d have to sleep on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ih8YourCat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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They only had size of shirt available at the psychic convention.

Turns out they're mediums.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDave78
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Have you heard about the chicken that got kicked out because it was too big?

It was ostrich sized

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grandadthony
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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My wife tried to help me and washed my bear costume in hot water. It shrunk outa my size!

I was furrious!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Dewey's doctor has been keeping track of all of his moles. The location and size of them. He's so thorough that he measures them all the way down to tenths.

He called it the Dewey deci-mole system..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Γ€ fortunate fit
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ViIgot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Why did everyone ignore the tall flightless bird?

Because he was Ostrich-sized

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPHFanEdits
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Due to freezing conditions in New York, the mens American Naturist Society....

.....has seen the size of their members shrink dramatically.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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Its great being an orphan....

Every bag of chips is family sized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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Starbucks should release their own brand of facemasks, they could call them...

coughy filters

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day.

Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.

That sail has shipped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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What tree has fruits of all shapes and sizes

The geometree

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πŸ‘€︎ u/agfwouldbecool
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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I got kicked out of the park for lining squirrels up by height...

They said I was too critter-sizing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmellyRapscallion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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What do you call plus sized bees?

O-bees

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tabrown223
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Physicians work alone, or in mid-sized teams

because two of them together would be a paradox.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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There has been some good news today as a plus-size clairvoyant announces they are releasing a charity calendar, with pictures of them in their underwear.

Fans of the psychic say that they are looking forward to seeing a large medium in smalls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megamouth2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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They have a new birth control pill for men that's the size of a small pebble.

You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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I also knew someonewho felt morally obligated to drive an economy sized Honda

She felt it was her Civic duty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arthurdent6
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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My buddy John gave his size 13 boots to his little brother, Phil. Problem is, Phil wears size 9.

John left large shoes to Phil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lameguy13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.

The N’s justify the means.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height.....

They didn’t like me critter sizing.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/18021982
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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