He said, “Sorry. There is no Time.”
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
https://preview.redd.it/1gkriwhk5be61.png?width=644&format=png&auto=webp&s=c141fac5d8dc8b81ebcad13ff6e64f1a4b65da78
A snooker table
Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom
Told her if they did, I didn’t see them.
He said "Maybe next time you should get premie carrots instead."
"Yeah" the dad replied, "I liked them too."
My boss just can't taller eight it
To mount the other end would be a catastrophe.
He challenged me and asked me to name 3 songs. I told him "I'm sorry. I only know One"
.....because he only comes once per year.
...she's on Catkins."
(one of these days my wife's eyes are gonna get stuck in the eye-rolling position)
He said it was like shooting fish in apparel.
A Motörhead.
IHOP
But eventually I came around.
He was a cheetah
A hippopotamus's shadow.
It's just water under the fridge.
Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"
"Oh, they're just a hyper-lynx."
She said, "Wear your own then, dickhead."
It was too confusing though. Everyone was like, "what's ursine?"
Son that's called a Plateau, it's the highest form of flattery known to man.
She said she didn't know, so I said roughly.
So in a deep voice she said "I DON'T KNOOOOW"
A heavier
I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?
They cantaloupe.
Therapist: A void?
Me: That’s good advice. Thanks.
A cheetah!
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
Now its a trans-script
When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.
When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.
When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.
When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?
When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?
When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!
In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.
Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.
A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.
When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.
When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?
It’s never been beaten.
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.
That is all ...
I don’t even know where the Minneapolis!
Carpool Tunnel
It was as big as the last two combined!
I’ve just handed in my Too weak notice.
