I made some ideas into images to put on to phone cases. This is my favourite - Get Off Your High Horse
My wife couldn’t believe I took my old high school bully out tonight.
[Credit to u/Vishalbharadwaj21] I have the high ground
I had mono in high school. I went to the doctor today with similar symptoms but two times worse...
My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Auntie went up ladder into high part of house. High part of house not so strong. High part of house have dangerous things. I worry about Auntie. She up there long time. Later Auntie come down ladder, safe. Whole event was..
I got one of those high desks for work and threw my chair away.
After a Viagra salesman died from the effects of the drug, the company gifted his family a casket of a new, high-end material.
They call it mourning wood.
I thought I had a foolproof method for high stakes Rock, Paper, Scissors...
... Now I'm losing money hand over fist!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high
What might you call people who live in the high Arctic?
I once asked a Hawaiian if he had a high pitched laugh.
If I was a smart but unscrupulous high school student, I would start a business doing other kids' homework for a nominal fee.
The name of the business?
"Nerdy deeds, done dirt cheap"
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised!
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
A high school girl was on her way home from a party, got knockout drunk, and shat on herself and all over her friends.
She was a real party pooper
Stoners are lighter, cause only balloons get high
Each time you light with a lighter, the lighter gets lighter untill the light so light that it will not light
Bernie setting the Sanders high!
They were high-tops
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what they were laced with but I was tripping all day.
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
This was at my high school
Did you hear about that new high-tech shovel?
It was sure groundbreaking!
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
This is where getting high everyday will land you.
What did the mother airplane say to the child airplane when the child was acting high and mighty?
"I've had it with your altitude"
My wife asked me if I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.
I said, “Yes, but I was part of the control group.”
What do you call a duck that's high on drugs
A man is being taken to the gallows for his execution. The executioner asked if he had any last requests, and he asked for a high five.
The executioner left him hanging.
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
Hydrogenated THC oil is a high margarine commodity
Thought y’all might enjoy these illustrated puns I found on the back of my English lit class notes from high school 🙃
My wife told me today, "Look, I've had this since high school and it still fits me."
Me: "Yeah!!! It's a scarf. "
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
My friend asked me if I’ve ever flown high...
I said “Isn’t that how planes work?”
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high...
I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high...
I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high.
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