"No Time To Die" movie is delayed. Thread goes full-pun mode
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume knob stuck on full."
I thought, "I can't turn that down."
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
My day is full of conference calls, collaborations, and 1-on-1s. I wish they would all just go away...
...but then my life would be meetingless.
A van full of terrapins ran into a truck full of tortoises.
It was a near turtle disaster.
I am trying to figure out whether that fuel tanker in front of me is full or not.
Your gas is as good as mine.
Here we see two birds of prey in full action
Or nuns as they are more commonly clawed
What do you call a Cruise liner full of academics?
My dad isn’t usually one full of dad jokes, but he hit me with a great one today.
For context, my dad had a leg amputation a few months back but he’s been in mostly good spirits about it. We were talking about places to eat in our area, and he asked where one of the fast food restaurants was around here, so I said “It’s at the intersection, where the IHOP is.”
Dad replied, “Oh, that’s my favorite place to get breakfast.”
I never got food with my dad at IHOP before so I was confused, but then it dawned on me what he meant. 😐
Did you hear about the Dad who spent a full 365 days assembling crèches for Churches ?
It was a Year of Living Mangerously.
Policeman: What's your name? Me: The Wizard of Oz. Policeman: What's your full name?
Me (quietly): The Wizard of Ounces.
When he found out I was sick, my friend messaged me, hoping that I will quickly find a deep hole in a ground full of water.
I'm happy he wished me to get well soon.
What do you call a warehouse full of ottomans?
Why did the Amazon package wake up in a bathtub full of ice?
Because it was de-livered.
Full credits to u/xibang.
My wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of stuff
It is enough to make a mango crazy
I told a Jesus joke to a room full of atheists...
no one believed
it was funny
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a truck full of broccoli?
To get away, they really had to floret.
What do you call a wolf that meditates during a full moon?
How can a room full of married people be empty?
Because there’s not a single person there
I used to think employers valued their workers, until yesterday when I worked a full day, but only got paid twenty cents. I see my boss entirely differently now after that.
It was a real paradigm shift.
If you give a pirate a fat booty and a full chest, what does he have?
A lorry full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
The other day I was on the dock talking to two of my neighbors… One of them had a cooler full of beers and snacks… Pulling out a beer pops the top and opening a bag of chips, he says “My wife’s an angel
I said, “you’re lucky – mine is still alive…”
I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit's feet...
I thought, “Well he's pushing his luck!”
Highway is full of Origami vehicles this evening...
Traffic is described as being stationery...
Why are cemeteries always so full?
high density cities have higher growth rates than can keep up with changing land use needs
loaf-i girl. (full credit to u/F-inthechatguy)
I had a cancer scare recently. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer
Thankfully it’s just semicolon cancer
Why is 24 always full?
Because it 8 and 8 and 8.
The archeologist thought he had dug up a full dinosaur
but it just was a fossil arm
I’m representing a man in court today charged with tippexing all the full stops out of books.
I’m expecting a long sentence
A van full of terrapins crashed into a van full of tortoises.
It was a turtle disaster!
My friend keeps saying “Cheer up man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
I saw an ad in a shop window, "Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"
I thought, "I can't turn that down".
What does an empty room and a room full of married people have in common?
You can’t find a single person in it.
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
Today I saw a man pushing a wheelbarrow full of four leaf clovers,rabbits feet and horseshoes.
He was really pushing his luck
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