"No Time To Die" movie is delayed. Thread goes full-pun mode
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spirit_bullet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.

It was the hardest dump I ever took

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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The comments is full of puns like this one
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gracosef
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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What's brown and full of nuts?

Peanut butter you sickos!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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I was walking home from work, talking to my husband on the phone. He asked me where I was. I said I passed a garden full of gnomes. He said he knew the one I was talking about.

I said "So it's a well gnome garden".

I laughed harder than he did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Upcyclethis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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We had a potato cannon once. We had some dumpster bread. We were shooting it full of grass, bread and leaves....

Technically our cannon "shoots eats and leaves".

(As in the oxford comma panda assassin... that "eats, shoots, and leaves")

Anyway I've waited years for someone to appreciate this .... and it has never happened so far. I hope you are slightly amused....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mavaction
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Saw a used television for sale for only $1, because the volume was stuck on full.

Thought to myself, β€œI can’t turn that down.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pantomeme
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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Two boats full of red and blue paint crashed in the indian ocean today

All of the crew are marooned

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-am-Just-Sam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?

Teapot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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What do you call a building full of guitarists?

Jail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pitmule
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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My friend keeps saying β€œCheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”

I know he means well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoalaTeaNip
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Yesterday a man drove his car into a barn full of horses.

He’s listed in serious but stable condition.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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A lorry full of tortoises just hit a van full of terrapins.

It’s a turtle disaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternal_Punshine
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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My neighbour got bit by a female deer and starts acting like one on a full moon...

What a were-doh...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yaswolf
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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My son grows a lot of fur and manufactures products of art or craft on nights when the moon is full...

He is a ware wolf!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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At dinner tonight, my daughter told me she was full...

I told her she didn’t have to finish her dinner.

She replied, β€œNo dad, my name is full!”

She’s learning!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greendog100
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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The moon is full tonight, do you think he eats too much?

No, it’s just a phase

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LTenaciouSD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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What's the full name of somebody who loves Japanese animation?

Annie Mae.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wilsoca
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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I once went to the CNN broadcasting station. They had an aquarium full of rubber amphibians.

Just as I feared... fake newts everywhere!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeastronaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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Did you hear that a car full of garlic, ginger, and lemongrass ran a red light in the middle of the city, injuring tens of people?

It was a fragrant disregard for public safety.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumbwaeguk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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What do you call a room full of ravens?

Crowded

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Breachx4002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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Dude, did you see the full moon last night?

It was totally lit!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juevolitos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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I dreamt last night I was swimming in an ocean full of orange soda. Then I woke up..

..and realized it was just a Fanta sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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What did the dad say to his son when he became afraid of the full moon?

"Don't worry! It's just a phase it's going through!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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I’m sew full
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeeYeeRavioli
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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My friend from Prague came over to play D&D. Instead of just a face mask, he's wearing full body armor

The Czech is in the mail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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What do you call a suitcase full of stolen jazz instruments?

A felonious trunk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xrayhearing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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What do you call a tray full of tofu veggie rolls?

Finger-fu

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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What happens to Werewolf's house when its the full moon?

It becomes a warehouse.

Credit to Haldzur, the newest dad in our party.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eagle_Vision_13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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I like going out during a full moon...

...but my lycanthropy gives me pause.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeBroccoli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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I'm fat, because I'm full of experiences...

.....and most of these experiences involved Mexican food.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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Optimist: "That cup is half full."

Pessimist: "That cup is half empty." Engineer: "Why are we making the cups so big?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikethelabguy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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What country that is never full?

Hungary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeHL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?

Jet lag.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FriedBaozi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume knob stuck on full."

I thought, "I can't turn that down."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AffectionateNot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Policeman: What's your name? Me: The Wizard of Oz. Policeman: What's your full name?

Me (quietly): The Wizard of Ounces.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Life is full of complications....

Even when you're born, there is a string attached.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?

It caused a title wave!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Gray_Area
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...

Close, but no Seger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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My day is full of conference calls, collaborations, and 1-on-1s. I wish they would all just go away...

...but then my life would be meetingless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?

Teapot

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.

" I know he means well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Salamander7965
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

i know he means well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hannahunfiltered
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend keeps saying β€œCheer up man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”

I know he means well

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ljpicklefeet20
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A van full of terrapins ran into a truck full of tortoises.

It was a near turtle disaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McKavian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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