"No Time To Die" movie is delayed. Thread goes full-pun mode
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︎ Mar 05 2020
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took
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︎ Mar 06 2021
The comments is full of puns like this one
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︎ Apr 26 2021
What's brown and full of nuts?
Peanut butter you sickos!
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︎ May 20 2021
I was walking home from work, talking to my husband on the phone. He asked me where I was. I said I passed a garden full of gnomes. He said he knew the one I was talking about.
I said "So it's a well gnome garden".
I laughed harder than he did.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
We had a potato cannon once. We had some dumpster bread. We were shooting it full of grass, bread and leaves....
Technically our cannon "shoots eats and leaves".
(As in the oxford comma panda assassin... that "eats, shoots, and leaves")
Anyway I've waited years for someone to appreciate this .... and it has never happened so far. I hope you are slightly amused....
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︎ May 07 2021
Saw a used television for sale for only $1, because the volume was stuck on full.
Thought to myself, โI canโt turn that down.โ
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︎ May 08 2021
Two boats full of red and blue paint crashed in the indian ocean today
All of the crew are marooned
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︎ Apr 29 2021
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
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︎ Apr 23 2021
What do you call a building full of guitarists?
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︎ Apr 08 2021
My friend keeps saying โCheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.โ
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Yesterday a man drove his car into a barn full of horses.
Heโs listed in serious but stable condition.
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︎ Apr 06 2021
A lorry full of tortoises just hit a van full of terrapins.
Itโs a turtle disaster.
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︎ May 03 2021
My neighbour got bit by a female deer and starts acting like one on a full moon...
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︎ May 04 2021
My son grows a lot of fur and manufactures products of art or craft on nights when the moon is full...
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︎ Apr 28 2021
At dinner tonight, my daughter told me she was full...
I told her she didnโt have to finish her dinner.
She replied, โNo dad, my name is full!โ
Sheโs learning!
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︎ Apr 09 2021
The moon is full tonight, do you think he eats too much?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
What's the full name of somebody who loves Japanese animation?
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︎ Apr 03 2021
I once went to the CNN broadcasting station. They had an aquarium full of rubber amphibians.
Just as I feared... fake newts everywhere!
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︎ Mar 26 2021
Did you hear that a car full of garlic, ginger, and lemongrass ran a red light in the middle of the city, injuring tens of people?
It was a fragrant disregard for public safety.
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︎ Mar 20 2021
What do you call a room full of ravens?
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︎ Mar 16 2021
Dude, did you see the full moon last night?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
I dreamt last night I was swimming in an ocean full of orange soda. Then I woke up..
..and realized it was just a Fanta sea.
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︎ Feb 15 2021
What did the dad say to his son when he became afraid of the full moon?
"Don't worry! It's just a phase it's going through!"
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︎ Mar 01 2021
Iโm sew full
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︎ Jan 19 2021
My friend from Prague came over to play D&D. Instead of just a face mask, he's wearing full body armor
The Czech is in the mail.
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︎ Mar 27 2021
What do you call a suitcase full of stolen jazz instruments?
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︎ Mar 15 2021
What do you call a tray full of tofu veggie rolls?
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︎ Apr 09 2021
What happens to Werewolf's house when its the full moon?
It becomes a warehouse.
Credit to Haldzur, the newest dad in our party.
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︎ Feb 22 2021
I like going out during a full moon...
...but my lycanthropy gives me pause.
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︎ Feb 23 2021
I'm fat, because I'm full of experiences...
.....and most of these experiences involved Mexican food.
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Optimist: "That cup is half full."
Pessimist: "That cup is half empty."
Engineer: "Why are we making the cups so big?"
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︎ Mar 07 2021
What country that is never full?
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︎ Mar 05 2021
You'd be impressed with the display cabinet I have at home, full of saltwater and semen.
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︎ Feb 15 2021
What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume knob stuck on full."
I thought, "I can't turn that down."
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Policeman: What's your name? Me: The Wizard of Oz. Policeman: What's your full name?
Me (quietly): The Wizard of Ounces.
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︎ Sep 11 2020
Life is full of complications....
Even when you're born, there is a string attached.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
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︎ Jan 02 2021
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. Itโs almost a full Heartland Rock set...
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︎ Jan 18 2021
My day is full of conference calls, collaborations, and 1-on-1s. I wish they would all just go away...
...but then my life would be meetingless.
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︎ Jan 21 2021
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
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︎ Sep 27 2020
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.
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︎ Mar 15 2021
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
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︎ Jan 23 2021
My friend keeps saying โCheer up man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.โ
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︎ Oct 11 2020
A van full of terrapins ran into a truck full of tortoises.
It was a near turtle disaster.
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︎ Jan 23 2021
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