Long Puns

The father is showing his son how to prepare the fishing rod, how to set the line, and how to affix the bait. Father: "Now son, you can use many different kinds of bait. This worm, for example." The father says as he weaves the worm onto the hook and casts the line. Son: "What happens next dad?" As if on cue, the father pulls against the line, calling forth a panicked fish from the water. The son exclaims in amazement, as the father prepares the line for his next cast. He reaches into the tackle box, and beings to attach something to the hook. Son: "Dad, what kind of bait is that?" Father: "This is clickbait son." Son: "What happens next dad?" Father: "What happens next will shock you."

When I worked for a design agency, I had two adamant higher-ups. There was a brand identity project for a new company, and I was in charge of typography, but those two disagreed with my choice of font.

The first one was this stony-looking Peruvian-American man named Esteban Ferrero, but since that's Spanish for Steven Smith, and our company had a rule that everyone has to call each other using nicknames instead of last names, everyone, including himself, just called him Steve. The second one was a Dutch woman with a sharp glare named Evelien van der Berg. She was famous for giving designers a hard time convincing her that their design choices work better than hers. In accordance with the company rules, we called her Eve.

Anyway, I showed Steve my first draft, and he wasn't convinced that I chose LinoLetter as the main font, and told me that I should use a sans-serif font. But I stood by my position that serifs add legibility to printed and digital material, that it fits the company's identity as an organic store, and that it is hard to stand out with a sans-serif. It took a lot of debate, but in the end, Steve was convinced that LinoLetter was acceptable.

A few days later, I showed Eve a more elaborated version, as for the sizes and styles of the font, and the pairing of LinoLetter with Century as the headline font. She insisted that I should have used a sans-serif font for the headline. I expressed my view that LinoLetter is a font with composed and legible shape, and Century, while it is also legible, has flair at larger sizes. She kept disagreeing with me, saying I should use something bolder and more contrasting, like Tungsten. It felt like hours had passed before the conversation went anywhere, so I had to give up and look for a sans-serif font that goes with LinoLetter.

So it goes to show that the one who gave me a hard time was adamant Eve, not adamant Steve.

Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.

I was so proud.

"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.

Dad: “10 of the happiest years of my life”

(They’ve been married 43 years)

"Not sure, let me check my logs."

There was a lot of cross referencing.

Because then it'd be a foot!

It was a protracted battle

It just feels like a maternity.

πthon.

As we were both on the rebound.

A hundred dollar bill.

This is my dad's favorite joke.

It was Sir Eel.

All i said was that i don't give a shit

It’s growing on me.

It was an aunt-eater

Spine.

So we’ve got this FisherPrice Projector Mobile thing that projects a rotating imaging onto the ceiling. (Very nice little thing, highly suggest for babies)

Anyways... We’ve got it set up in the living room and Wife, Son, and I are laying on the ground in the dark watching it go round and round. It’s Jungle Themed, so a lion, elephant giraffe, tiger, a few monkeys, and so on...

We’re pointing out the different animals to Son and he’s repeating a few words here and there... When he starts waving and saying “Hi” as a new animal rotates in.

So Wife goes, “Here comes the Lion. Can you say Hi to the Lion?”

And Son waves and says “Hi!” and giggles.

Wife: “And there’s an Elephant! Can you Hi to the Elephant?”

Son: “Hi... toots”

Wife: “Yes! Toots! And here’s the next animal. Can you wave to the tiger?”

Son: “Hi!”

Wife: “That’s the ‘Hi of the Tiger’”

Me: “... 💀 💀 💀”

Wife: “You love me... Look Son! A Zebra!”

py-rex

I'll get my coat...

Joooooooooke :)

...it was a big Phở queue.

Joke, joke, joooooooooooooooooooke

"I mist you!"

Wife: Ah, whatever no you have not.

Me: yeah, I’ve made all the coffee this year

Wife: oh, ha ha

A Paternity.

A shoe.

A propaganda

High steaks

2021

I just couldn't accept all those perms and conditions!

I said, “Whoopi Goldberg is ok, but I don’t like the other women on the show.”

You'll get lost in their eyes.

I became a film editor.

but afterwards, I never looked back.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

Old timer

That's the punch line.

She took a reign check.

Because then it would be a foot

Because then it’d be a foot.

Because then it would be a foot."

Joke

Joke

Joooooooooooooooooooke

Turns out there is a lot of Cross referencing.