My dad's not allowed to speak Japanese, let alone teach the language. But there's nothing that says he can't teach Japanese cooking and geography. So far, I just learned the cooking tools and the location of the country.
This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.
“Hey, how much wood have you chopped so far?”
“Not sure. Let me check the logs.”
My son asked me how far somebody’s genes can go.
I said “as far as you walk with them.”
My wife looked at me beaming with pride and said, “Wow! I never thought our son could go so far!”
I said, “I know. This trebuchet is amazing. Go get our daughter.”
I once asked a Frenchman how far it was to the capital city of Malawi.
He replied 'Le long way'.
Showtime has far too many commercials on their channel.
It’s just Shameless plug after Shameless plug.
Best dad joke I've heard today.. so far
Me: "Are you free tomorrow?"
Dad: "No, I'm 5 bucks tomorrow."
What do you call an apple that falls far from the tree?
Everybody knows about Murphy’s Law, but far fewer people are aware of Cole’s Law
It’s finely shredded cabbage in mayonnaise.
Wow never thought I'd get this far
Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts???
reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
When a clogged drain killed his family, a clog far past the u-bend & far beyond justice, he knew had to take matters into his own filthy hands. He had to become...
Twitter has gone too far! Now they're banning Mario for threatening the President.
Evidently he found out that Trump was in Peach twice.
Happy Ho.idays to friends and .oved ones c.ose and far. B.essings to you and yours this Yu.e season.
(This is my No-L greeting.)
I tried to figure out how far 20,000 leagues under the sea actually is.
As far as baby chickens are concerned...
making it this far has been no small feet
What comes to your door and helps you see far?
My addiction to refrigerated poultry has gone too far
Far Cough
Had to visit a mall today. As I was standing on the escalator, someone coughed behind me. I turned around and noticed he was very near. We all know if you need to cough, you must cough far away. So I told him to FAR COUGH. And that’s how the fight started
Talking with my brother: “Hey remember when we would see how far we could jump off the staircase?”
“That just sounds like leaping off ledges with extra steps”
People can take a dark joke too far...
...but a dad joke is farther!
My favorite so far
What did James Bond do before bed
He went under cover
Of course, french fries are far too posh for us, we only do chips!
In far future, in a robot-only disco, one of the dancers suddenly shuts down.
The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:
“Don’t worry, he just got disco-nnected.”
My friend was concerned his children weren't getting very far...
...which is why we built the larger trebuchet.
Due to social distancing, everyone is asking Kim Jung Un how far six feet is Exactly!
Because he is the supreme ruler.
Who’s the best basketball player in a galaxy far far away?
A geology/geography/aerodynamics study that a sandstorm in Africa can blow sand and dust as far as to even Florida
So anyways, I dust the grains down from africa
So far I've memorized seven pages of this dictionary;
I've learned next to nothing.
In a galaxy far far away
A rebel pilot and an imperial pilot had a race around the deathstar to see who had the faster ship. It was a tie!
I'm pretty far on the left politically but I'm not involved in any activism
I’m proud of my son, I never thought he’d go so far
In a village, far far away, two farmers often had a competition within themselves to see who harvests the most every 6 months.
After failing to win for about 9 times in a row, Jaime, hired a spy who will go and check Jack's harvest the night before the contest so he can harvest more. As the spy came back the night before, he informed the farmer Jaime about the amount that he saw inside Jack's yard but he was not able to tell the amount in exact. Jaime took the spy to his paddy field, gave him some extra money than what they initially agreed upon and said...
"You reap what you saw".
Alright now this is too far
The impact the aeroplane’s invention has made has been far-reaching
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far
My son took his jar collection way too far
When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar
Started to learn to tell time on a analog clock last week. So far I can only tell when it’s 6:30
But I got that one hands down.
Finally I can see things far away without leaving the couch
The local seniors care home rejected my offer to speak to residents about the advantages of being young in far-eastern countries...
apparently it is not "appropriate" to talk to residents about the benefits of youth in asia.
I’m doing a run of Pokémon: SoulSilver where I name everybody after musical artist puns. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far- pretty catchy, huh?
This is by far the best pun of the day , the journalist really drove the message home!
Me: I had no idea our daughter would go this far.
My husband: I know, this trebuchet is amazing. Let's get our son!
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