I need help following up with this pun, this is a video about a scientist giving a lecture about fire, I can’t think of any more other than pun-ch line
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I am so, so sorry
Why shouldn't you put more than 239 beans in a soup?
Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Why are French snails faster than others?
There’s no way anyone can make spaghetti better than my Mom.
TIL: The French snails are faster than snails found anywhere else in the world.
Balloons cost more today than they did 10 years ago.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
How can a dog jump higher than a skyscraper?
Amtrak employees are more like to be struck by lightning than any other profession.
Because they are good conductors
What's worse than ants in your pants?
I entered the national rage competition after being told I was easily angered, but lost to a guy who was much angrier than me.
Why couldn't Han and Leia produce more than one child?
They could only produce a Solo child.
Not to brag, but yesterday I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school Karate lessons came to some use.
What is smaller than a teeny weeny flea?
Sometimes I have no words other than…
What's harder than selling ice to an Eskimo?
Selling a vacuum in space.
My 6 year old just told me this joke... What's stronger than a fortune cookie?
What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?
Any dog... buildings can’t jump
Why do educated people tend to be hotter than uneducated people?
A baseball player was shopping at the dairy while in a bad mood. He'd played in a home run derby yesterday; though he got more runs than anyone else, another player was awarded the trophy. While in line at the register, the lady in front of him was short on cash. He decided to do a good deed, so...
The bitter, better-batter bought her butter!
Why did Superman decide to wrap Lex Luthor in aluminium rather than taking him to jail?
Because then he could truly foil his plans.
What works faster than a calculator?
My friend said that he eats more than his brother.
I was more concerned by the fact that he eats his brother.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course. Houses can’t jump.
I tried to come up with a pun about carpentry, but it’s harder than it sounds.
Almost nothing wood work.
Short people face more discrimination than any other group!
We’re always being overlooked
It’s hard to believe that it has been more than 100 years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity.
It seems like only yesterday.
A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
Wife asked me for reasons behind my laziness, I have more than one.
Why are dogs better at playing classical music than cats?
My wife does a better West Midlands accent than me...
... Which goes to show that the female of the species is more Dudley than the male!
The police pulled over a semi going 120 mph on the interstate. Upon opening the trailer, they found thousands of ancient cutting tools similar to an axes but with the cutting edges perpendicular to the handle rather than parallel.
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards
I'm sure that must have been a record
Water is heavier than butane
because butane is a lighter fluid.
A pregnant mare can run faster than a horse
Because it has 2 horse power
Some people think Steve jobs would be a better president than Donald Trump
But you can't really compare apples to oranges.
What’s smarter than a talking bird?
There's no worse time to be a chauvinist than the present
The number of people older than you....
Now for my next trick... making your voice louder than usual
Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, an octopus will "punch" a fish for no reason other than spite
That's called Toxic Molluskulinity.
Why is carrot more faithful than hummus?
The carrot sticks but the hummus dips.
What works faster than a calculator?
What works faster than a calculator?
Someone asked me if I could jump higher than a house
Of course I can! Houses can’t jump
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