No one told me life was gonna be this way.
That's the year that Toto blessed the rains there.
"Every Breath You Take" is a song by a band called The Police.
But I’m not worried, since he doesn’t have the balls to do anything
It's like I've never seen herbivore.
Sometimes I just find myself settling down on the sofa, opening up Netflix and sticking on Friends
The bitch took all the other box sets.
I reckon it was last year
Me: "Yeah!!! It's a scarf. "
I think I’ll call it “Mr. Holland’s Opus”
Four years going and I’ve almost finished reading it!
He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:
-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!
Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.
-Ok, so... your current name is.. ·chuckles· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...
-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.
After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.
-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?
all manner of scary, haunting things are happening to me. I may have a poultrygeist.
It’s my longest running joke of the year so far...
Too bad it’s Payperview
Our ancestors called it the prime-ore-deal soup
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
It helps me namaste at home.
Does that mean we have a lack of common cents?
Because that would be entirely too long.
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
That’s why he don’t come around here no more.
It started off with sledging which has finally lead to ski jumping. It’s a real slippery slope
It's called Pence-a-cola.
I replied, Perhaps mourning would...
I can only tell inside jokes.
...we’ve drifted apart.
TNT. It's dino might.
But that's okay, I love working with my dog.
Damn he must be very far away by now
but it's growing on me.
What's good for the goose, I guess.
I guess the hairplugs went straight to my head..
Maybe it’s because I’m trans-parent
She's been pushing me around and talking behind my back
If it gets any worse, I guess I’ll have to let her in.
It has become very corrupt.