Obi wan Kobe
A rebel pilot and an imperial pilot had a race around the deathstar to see who had the faster ship. It was a tie!
After failing to win for about 9 times in a row, Jaime, hired a spy who will go and check Jack's harvest the night before the contest so he can harvest more. As the spy came back the night before, he informed the farmer Jaime about the amount that he saw inside Jack's yard but he was not able to tell the amount in exact. Jaime took the spy to his paddy field, gave him some extra money than what they initially agreed upon and said...
"You reap what you saw".
I got tele-vision
My brother pulled out some measuring tape, asked me to hold one end as he held the other end and walked towards the oven.
".... about 12 feet."
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 bro is basically a certified dad now
He looms on the horizon.
Pasteurize
You could say I'm home for the hollandaise.
They're not to scale.
I wouldn't bet on it though. Hindsight's 2080.
But then I realised I had the binoculars the wrong way round
By logging into the Fishnet
...my mind raced with punchlines of the “about this far” variety. I tried a few on for size.
Then I realized he was looking distraught and realized I was potentially stomping on his blooming dad-joke career. So I stopped and said: “I don’t know son, how far?”
He still looked confused, and then I realized that he for real thought a “stud” was a measure of distance and this was a legit question. So I had to transition into google searching images of wall framing and what studs are. What a roller coaster of dad emotions.
Making horse jokes with my flatmate and I'm particularly proud of this one.
2-Pacca
Close enough to wok!
By the time it airs, she's gonna be called Fifteen.
[removed]
He replied, "oh, about 2 feet."
About 5 metres. Oh haha... (sarcastic) How long is it? About 5 inches.
"Ok what else do we need?"
"Liquor"
"Lick her?! I barely know her!"
But then I realised I had the binoculars the wrong way round...
