My extremely low effort drawn out pun. What’s it trying to say?
Out-punned by an experienced dad
Cardboard cut out puns
Fathers day dinner tonight for my dad and my sister and family can't be there because of travel restrictions. I've organised life size cardboard cut outs of them and had my sister record a few dad jokes/puns. But I need help coming up with more ... the best, worst and cringiest are all welcome!
So far I have..
"I'm feeling a little flat"
"I'm board ... cardboard"
"You'd think my ears are painted on, You'll have to speak up"
"Can you believe someone told me I had the personality of cardboard"
Food truck rolling out puns
Your Opunion Needed
Last night i got on twitter, one teacher from a gaggle I follow is talking about Peter Pan and tossing out pun after pun. Another teacher just asked "Can we make him stop?"
I replied, "When d'he start?"
Then another teacher jumped in with "Wendy do you think?"
Huh? I scratched my head. Was my unusual spelling so odd that it wasn't clear what i was going for? She got it enough to use THE SAME PUN in the SAME way.
And then her comment got favorites and 'attagirls'.
So questions: 1) which phrasing was better for the pun?
- If the second is better, is it still better immediately following the first?
She seems to be having a field day out there.
If my son ever came out to be trans then I wouldn’t have a son anymore
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
What’s the difference between in-laws & out-laws?
I went out with an archeologist.
I had to stop seeing her because she kept dating other people.
What is green and fuzzy and if it falls out a tree it'll kill you?
I just found out the Mortal Kombat theme was based on something old
Well we just found out that my grandpa is addicted to Viagra
And man my grandma sure is taking it hard.
I just found out that the guy who stole my diary died yesterday.
My thoughts are with his family.
A man walks out in the purring rain...
And he thinks to himself: "Why is it raining cats?"
Only works when spoken instead of typed out
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
There’s a new virus out called the Peekaboo virus!
They recommend if you catch it to proceed straight to the ICU.
My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns
"OK", I said, "Alpaca my bags".
Did you know Sully js gay? Well, he came out of the closet.
My wife always make a big deal out of her periods .
I'd say she is ovary-acting .
Anyone out there interested in buying my DeLorean ? Great condition, low mileage..
.. really only driven from time to time.
I figured out why Teslas are so expensive .
It's because they charge a lot.
Why did the non-binary prospector head out West?
Because there was gold in them/their hills!
The trees around the house are starting to bud. I said to my wife, "Honey, do you know what happens when the trees leaf out?"
A look of hopeful curiosity washed over her as she fell into my trap. "No, what?"
"Very SHADY things."
It must've reminded her that she had something else to do that was very important.
What are Mario's pants made out of?
I kept begging my manager for some flour and it annoyed the hell out of him
Eventually, I was given the sack
I couldn't figure out how the change machine worked...
What keeps the ocean from leaking out?
Pete & Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out & who was left?
Repeat.
Ok. Pete & Repete were in a boat. Pete fell out & who was left?
Repeat….?
Ok. Pete & Repete were in a boat. Pete fell out & who was left?…
My grandpa’s favorite joke. (Peter 5)
What type of fish only comes out at night?
I once dated a girl missing 1 leg, it didn't work out though...
I'm lack toes intolerant.
Went to GameStop to use the bathroom, but it was out of order...
I guess I have to keep holding it.
Everyone tried so hard to figure out why Mr. Edwards changed his name to Mr. Evans
But after all these years, it's still a Mr. E
I ran out of toilet paper, so I used newspaper instead...
Shout out to all those who wonder
what’s the opposite of in.
Shout out to my grandpa
That’s the only way he can hear you
Why do bouncers throw violent drunks out the back door?
Because they belong behind bars.
What do you call an alligator that shows up suddenly and out of nowhere?
I told my son to go find out what "nada" means in english
But he came back with nothing
I got carded at a liquor store and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out
The cashier said nevermind
I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI ‘s head.
Did you hear they will be handing out Goosebumps books at Oktoberfest?
Just look for the R. L. Stein.
A lil joke for my swiss ppl out there (you have all my love)
https://preview.redd.it/phwxjjhktcz61.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=f977c05db5fe9ea3e65904f04f47b6f6d9438c4d
Doctor: Sorry sir but your body has ran out of Magnesium
A man walks out in the purring rain...
And he thinks to himself: "Why is it raining cats?"
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