Whopper Puns

"Hooked on phonics worked for me!"

After asking the waiter for some salt, he turned to me and said:

"Was that too harsh? I didn't want to asSALT him."

He then chuckled proudly to himself.

So just now my Dad was looking through the local takeaway menu because I was heading over the shops and he wanted something to eat, so he finally decides that he wants a burger, hands me a £5 note and says "It'll be about 3 pounds" to which I responded "That's a lot of food, you sure you don't want a quarter-pounder instead?"

Unfortunately I was the only one chuckling to myself.

It was an absolute whopper

Because someone dropped a Whopper

Good thing I have a few Twix up my sleeve!

Because Burger Kind laid a whopper

So my Dad and I were on the highway, after travelling for a couple hours, he said that he was hungry. My response? "Hi hungry, I'm Samdaman222, but there's a Big Mack". Pointing to the truck that was just passing.

I was happy with the joke being a double whopper.

Edit: Grammar.

Years ago, my father and his wife were stuffing whoppers, sour patch kids and other assorted candies into stockings. He turns to her and says in all seriousness, "Did you just fart?"

She says no, of course.

Dad: "That's funny, because I smell a whopper!"

Additional info if necessary - Whoppers are chocolate covered malt balls.

Me: "Hey, you can get 2 Whopper Jrs and 2 small fries for 4 bucks. That's a good deal I guess."

Wife: "Well, it's kinda just like a dollar menu.

Points to each item "Buck, buck, buck, buck."

Me: "Nah, that's the chicken."

Social studies teacher is telling us about the types of government. She gets to autocracies and absolute monarchies, etc.

"So let's say I'm the king, (or rather the queen), and I say that everyone needs to eat cheeseburgers for breakfast lunch and dinner. And since I'm the queen, and I said so, you have to do it!"

This one guy on the other side of the room pipes up - "So does that mean you're the burger king?"

Urghhh

He just purchased and ate his 'angry whopper'.

He walks up to the counter and says "I said I wanted an angry whopper, this one was only mildly pissed off".

he does this every time we go there.

"Burger King passed by McDonalds the other day and let out a Whopper."