People began paying the Hawaiian volcano goddess to lie down from time to time
They're calling it a pay lay
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︎ Apr 25 2021
Took me a minute I canβt lie
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Got me for a second not gonna lie
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︎ Feb 19 2021
THE GRAM CRACKER IS A LIE
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︎ Dec 22 2020
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
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︎ May 11 2020
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
The most rounded up base I've ever seen, not gonna lie
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︎ Mar 03 2020
IK its corny but: why does Frank never lie
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What do you call a dad that has changed gender and canβt lie?
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︎ Nov 27 2020
When is it a crime to just lie there?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Not gonna lie
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︎ Aug 07 2020
They had us in the first half not gonna lie
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︎ Aug 22 2020
Even when I lie I make sense
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︎ Aug 27 2020
I break every bed I lie down on...
Guess I must be a heavy sleeper
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︎ Oct 02 2020
I always lie behind my wife's back and I hate it...
I want to be the little spoon too sometimes.
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︎ Jun 12 2020
I tell everyone that I hate all romantic comedies, but that is a lie.
I love Love Actually actually.
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︎ Sep 10 2020
Not going to lie...
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Never lie to an X-ray technician
they can see right through you
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Dentists can lie,
but they must tell the tooth!
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︎ Jul 22 2020
A dad brought back lie detector robot..
Dad: son if you lie the robot slaps you.
Son: ok
Dad: did you drink at the party?
Son : no dad i...
Robot slaps son on the face
Dad: did you do drugs?
Son: no i swear..
Robot slaps son on the face
Dad: sigh , why did you turn out like this? Back in the days all i did was studying and...
Robot slaps dad on the face
Mom: haha like father like son
Robot slaps mom on the face
Edit: sorry this is daddies i can go
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin?
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︎ Oct 29 2019
What do you call a girl who can't lie?
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︎ Jun 30 2020
Pretty good not gonna lie
π︎ 40
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︎ Mar 09 2020
My 4 year old cousin told me that cows make milk. So naturally I told her the brown cows make chocolate milk. And her jaw hit the floor. I then told her that pink cows make strawberry milk and then she caught me in my lie and said...
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︎ Jun 26 2020
I had a tumor that made it uncomfortable to lie on my back, so I had to sleep face down.
Doc said it was prostrate cancer.
Guess I'm prone.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Why can an average person never lie?
They always mean everything.
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︎ May 11 2020
How can you tell when Truth tells a lie?
When it makes a False move.
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︎ Mar 26 2020
That was a good pun not gonna lie
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︎ Jul 14 2019
Took a second, not gonna lie
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︎ May 30 2019
You know, sometimes, as I lie in bed, looking up into the great night sky, counting each star and watching the moon slowly float by, I think to myself:
"Where the fuck is my roof?"
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︎ Feb 13 2020
What did the angry lie say to the truth?
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︎ Feb 07 2020
A father buys a lie detector that slaps people when they lie. He decided to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son replies βI just did some homework.β The robot slaps the son. The son then says βOkay, okay. I was at my friends house watching a movie.β
Dad asks βWhat movie were you watching?β The son replies βFinding Nemoβ. The robot slaps the son. He then sais βOkay, okay. We were watching pornβ
Dad said βWhat?! At your age I didnβt know what porn was.β The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says βWow. He certainly is your son.β
The robot slaps the mother.
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︎ Sep 15 2018
My motherβs boss spelt this on the sign outside the nearby nursery (not gonna lie I think itβs actually pretty funny)
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︎ Mar 20 2019
Iβm exhausted! When I get home from work Iβm just gonna lie down and stare at the ceiling.
This eveningβs definitely looking up
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︎ Nov 06 2019
kinda dry, not gonna lie
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︎ May 14 2019
Numbers donβt lie
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︎ Dec 19 2018
And I cannot lie
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︎ Jul 20 2019
Sometimes I lie down and spin to one side
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︎ Nov 01 2019
Not gonna lie guys, this one is pretty corny
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︎ Nov 25 2018
Not gonna lie I was quite proud of this one
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︎ Feb 14 2018
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain
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︎ Dec 16 2018
Lie detector tests can be very
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︎ Sep 19 2019
Whenever I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments of my high school days come flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
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︎ Jan 12 2019
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from my high school keep flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 08 2019
Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin?
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 31 2019
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