People began paying the Hawaiian volcano goddess to lie down from time to time
They're calling it a pay lay
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Apr 25 2021
Took me a minute I canβt lie
ποΈ 83
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οΈ Jan 06 2021
Got me for a second not gonna lie
ποΈ 56
π
οΈ Feb 19 2021
THE GRAM CRACKER IS A LIE
ποΈ 43
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οΈ Dec 22 2020
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
ποΈ 7k
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οΈ May 11 2020
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
ποΈ 22
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οΈ Jan 09 2021
The most rounded up base I've ever seen, not gonna lie
ποΈ 532
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οΈ Mar 03 2020
IK its corny but: why does Frank never lie
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Nov 18 2020
What do you call a dad that has changed gender and canβt lie?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Nov 27 2020
When is it a crime to just lie there?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Nov 16 2020
Not gonna lie
ποΈ 40
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οΈ Aug 07 2020
They had us in the first half not gonna lie
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Aug 22 2020
Even when I lie I make sense
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Aug 27 2020
I break every bed I lie down on...
Guess I must be a heavy sleeper
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Oct 02 2020
I always lie behind my wife's back and I hate it...
I want to be the little spoon too sometimes.
ποΈ 64
π
οΈ Jun 12 2020
I tell everyone that I hate all romantic comedies, but that is a lie.
I love Love Actually actually.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Sep 10 2020
Not going to lie...
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Sep 01 2020
Never lie to an X-ray technician
they can see right through you
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Aug 28 2020
Dentists can lie,
but they must tell the tooth!
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Jul 22 2020
A dad brought back lie detector robot..
Dad: son if you lie the robot slaps you.
Son: ok
Dad: did you drink at the party?
Son : no dad i...
Robot slaps son on the face
Dad: did you do drugs?
Son: no i swear..
Robot slaps son on the face
Dad: sigh , why did you turn out like this? Back in the days all i did was studying and...
Robot slaps dad on the face
Mom: haha like father like son
Robot slaps mom on the face
Edit: sorry this is daddies i can go
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Aug 14 2020
Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin?
ποΈ 609
π
οΈ Oct 29 2019
What do you call a girl who can't lie?
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Jun 30 2020
Pretty good not gonna lie
ποΈ 40
π
οΈ Mar 09 2020
My 4 year old cousin told me that cows make milk. So naturally I told her the brown cows make chocolate milk. And her jaw hit the floor. I then told her that pink cows make strawberry milk and then she caught me in my lie and said...
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Jun 26 2020
I had a tumor that made it uncomfortable to lie on my back, so I had to sleep face down.
Doc said it was prostrate cancer.
Guess I'm prone.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Jul 16 2020
Why can an average person never lie?
They always mean everything.
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ May 11 2020
How can you tell when Truth tells a lie?
When it makes a False move.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Mar 26 2020
That was a good pun not gonna lie
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Jul 14 2019
Took a second, not gonna lie
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ May 30 2019
You know, sometimes, as I lie in bed, looking up into the great night sky, counting each star and watching the moon slowly float by, I think to myself:
"Where the fuck is my roof?"
ποΈ 18
π
οΈ Feb 13 2020
What did the angry lie say to the truth?
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Feb 07 2020
A father buys a lie detector that slaps people when they lie. He decided to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son replies βI just did some homework.β The robot slaps the son. The son then says βOkay, okay. I was at my friends house watching a movie.β
Dad asks βWhat movie were you watching?β The son replies βFinding Nemoβ. The robot slaps the son. He then sais βOkay, okay. We were watching pornβ
Dad said βWhat?! At your age I didnβt know what porn was.β The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says βWow. He certainly is your son.β
The robot slaps the mother.
ποΈ 390
π
οΈ Sep 15 2018
My motherβs boss spelt this on the sign outside the nearby nursery (not gonna lie I think itβs actually pretty funny)
ποΈ 96
π
οΈ Mar 20 2019
Iβm exhausted! When I get home from work Iβm just gonna lie down and stare at the ceiling.
This eveningβs definitely looking up
ποΈ 24
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οΈ Nov 06 2019
kinda dry, not gonna lie
ποΈ 34
π
οΈ May 14 2019
Numbers donβt lie
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Dec 19 2018
And I cannot lie
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Jul 20 2019
Sometimes I lie down and spin to one side
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Nov 01 2019
Not gonna lie guys, this one is pretty corny
ποΈ 23
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οΈ Nov 25 2018
Not gonna lie I was quite proud of this one
ποΈ 50
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οΈ Feb 14 2018
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain
ποΈ 82
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οΈ Dec 16 2018
Lie detector tests can be very
ποΈ 18
π
οΈ Sep 19 2019
Whenever I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments of my high school days come flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
ποΈ 229
π
οΈ Jan 12 2019
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from my high school keep flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Dec 08 2019
Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin?
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Oct 31 2019
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