"No Time To Die" movie is delayed. Thread goes full-pun mode
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spirit_bullet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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I’m sew full
πŸ‘︎ 159
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeeYeeRavioli
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

i know he means well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hannahunfiltered
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?

Teapot

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Life is full of complications....

Even when you're born, there is a string attached.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume knob stuck on full."

I thought, "I can't turn that down."

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AffectionateNot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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What do you call a bus full of smart people?

A Scholarship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/belac2002
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...

Close, but no Seger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?

It caused a title wave!

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Gray_Area
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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My day is full of conference calls, collaborations, and 1-on-1s. I wish they would all just go away...

...but then my life would be meetingless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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A van full of terrapins ran into a truck full of tortoises.

It was a near turtle disaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McKavian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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I am trying to figure out whether that fuel tanker in front of me is full or not.

Your gas is as good as mine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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Here we see two birds of prey in full action

Or nuns as they are more commonly clawed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzatron574
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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What do you call a Cruise liner full of academics?

A Scholarship.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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My dad isn’t usually one full of dad jokes, but he hit me with a great one today.

For context, my dad had a leg amputation a few months back but he’s been in mostly good spirits about it. We were talking about places to eat in our area, and he asked where one of the fast food restaurants was around here, so I said β€œIt’s at the intersection, where the IHOP is.”

Dad replied, β€œOh, that’s my favorite place to get breakfast.”

I never got food with my dad at IHOP before so I was confused, but then it dawned on me what he meant. 😐

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kalleh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Did you hear about the Dad who spent a full 365 days assembling crèches for Churches ?

It was a Year of Living Mangerously.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eschauzier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Policeman: What's your name? Me: The Wizard of Oz. Policeman: What's your full name?

Me (quietly): The Wizard of Ounces.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ’€
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahydron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Soooo full!
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Tag-und Nacht
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roof-Patient
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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When he found out I was sick, my friend messaged me, hoping that I will quickly find a deep hole in a ground full of water.

I'm happy he wished me to get well soon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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What is Mike Pence’s full name

Mechanical Pencil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im2KoolAid4u
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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What is the longest word?

Smiles. Because there's a mile between the two s.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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What do you call a warehouse full of ottomans?

The ottoman empire.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dabbinmechanic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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Full credits to u/xibang.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Invalleria
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Why did the Amazon package wake up in a bathtub full of ice?

Because it was de-livered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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My wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of stuff

It is enough to make a mango crazy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I told a Jesus joke to a room full of atheists...

no one believed

it was funny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/watercolorfiddle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Did you hear about the two guys who stole a truck full of broccoli?

To get away, they really had to floret.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mdwelsh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Why don’t ant colonies ever get sick?

.... because they’re full of anty bodies

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Finneagan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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The ship is from Japan
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7keletor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What do you call a wolf that meditates during a full moon?

Aware wolf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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How can a room full of married people be empty?

Because there’s not a single person there

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kennycrab12
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I used to think employers valued their workers, until yesterday when I worked a full day, but only got paid twenty cents. I see my boss entirely differently now after that.

It was a real paradigm shift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotNIpsyRussell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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If you give a pirate a fat booty and a full chest, what does he have?

An Arrrrgasm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PuntasTeec
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.

It was a locomotive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ensiform
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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A lorry full of christmas trees have been stolen.

Police admit they are stumped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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The Count
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahydron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

HDMI

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFoxMaster00
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day I was on the dock talking to two of my neighbors… One of them had a cooler full of beers and snacks… Pulling out a beer pops the top and opening a bag of chips, he says β€œMy wife’s an angel

I said, β€œyou’re lucky – mine is still alive…”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit's feet...

I thought, β€œWell he's pushing his luck!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Highway is full of Origami vehicles this evening...

Traffic is described as being stationery...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A van full of terrapins crashed into a van full of tortoises.

It was a turtle disaster!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend keeps saying β€œCheer up man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”

I know he means well

πŸ‘︎ 307
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ljpicklefeet20
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw an ad in a shop window, "Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"

I thought, "I can't turn that down".

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What does an empty room and a room full of married people have in common?

You can’t find a single person in it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kenduvo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

I know he means well.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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