My friend in choir asked how attractive he was.

I told him about a tenor so.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banksfornades
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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My husband sings in a choir.

I remember when we got married at the alto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anxieturt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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I hope this doesn't fall β™­

So a C, an E-flat and a G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
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I’m a Tenor

But my voice would be higher in an alto-nate universe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObligatoryStory
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
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Reminder to Vocalists...

Soprano and Alto: Stop causing treble for other singers.

Bass singers: Stop bringing us down.

And remember our Grand Staff meeting next weekend... assuming we compose ourselves properly and no one gets a flat from something sharp on the way there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_gorawr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
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Dropped this one a week ago. I don't even have a girlfriend.

At a rehearsal for my choir, the director made some last minute changes to the standing arrangements. For a couple songs, we wouldn't be standing in the usual Soprano Alto Tenor Bass formation, but we'd we standing in a way that we were surrounded by people of different sections. As you can imagine, shifting around 4 rows of risers is a bit hectic, so I asked my friend where exactly I had to go.

He told me, "As long as you're mixed, it's okay."

A wave of dark intentions washed over my brain.

I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "But I'm Chinese".

It took him a full two seconds to register what I just said.

What in the actual fuck is happening to me right now?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatcat22able
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2016
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Dad joke made during a band performance.

My band had a performance yesterday. We have three saxophone players. One of plays only Alto saxophone, one of them alternates between playing Alto, Tenor and Baritone saxophone and the last plays both Tenor and Baritone saxophone.

The second two kept swapping each other's instruments or one of the other saxophones they had in the background. So at one point we had to wait for them to change while the rest of us were all ready to start playing the next song.

So, trying to make it less awkward for the audience I turn to them and I says 'I'm sorry, they're just playing ... Musical Instruments'

There was a collective groan/laugh from the audience and the drummer went ba-dum-tish And the trumpeter gave me a little wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaah

I'm still giggling about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gonnnondorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
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While practicing kalimba

Classmate: I'm glad everyone else is altos. I just have to keep up with you.

Me: Well I'm a hotbed of treble.


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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2014
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Last night I went to, Alton Brown's Edible Inevitable tour. Alton Brown is a dad so I guess this counts.

Alton was working with his prop Bessy the cow when he pulled a stool out from it.

Alto says "Do you know why this stool is so small?" No one answers. He said "because it's a sample."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyingMjunkY
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
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