Q: What’s does the polar bear sing in the choir?
Dad: The singer was a good looking fellow, and his friends danced on the walls
Dad: The singer was well dressed, and he kept taunting me
Dad: He was so rhythmic and his baritone voice was so smooth - but he kept taunting me
Kid: What are you talking about Dad?
Dad: The singer! He said he would lend me some, but not all of his Pixar DVD collection
Kid: Who was this singer?
Dad: Rick something
Kid: Rick something?
Dad: Rick something, and he said he was never going to give me Up
My band had a performance yesterday. We have three saxophone players. One of plays only Alto saxophone, one of them alternates between playing Alto, Tenor and Baritone saxophone and the last plays both Tenor and Baritone saxophone.
The second two kept swapping each other's instruments or one of the other saxophones they had in the background. So at one point we had to wait for them to change while the rest of us were all ready to start playing the next song.
So, trying to make it less awkward for the audience I turn to them and I says 'I'm sorry, they're just playing ... Musical Instruments'
I'm still giggling about it.
Background: my wife sleeps a lot in the summer. Since she's a teacher, she's off all summer. Sometimes for 12 hours (which we refer to as a 12er)
So I was telling her that I can take the night and morning shift to feed our newborn, so she could get at least a 10er. To which she said "maybe even a baritone"
She's so much better than me.
Setting: Dad found a ten-dollar bill (he thought it was a five) on the microwave and wanted to know if it was mine.
Dad: Is this your fiver?
Me: ...that's not a five.
Dad: Oh. Is this your tenner?
Me: No, I'm a baritone.
I found it much funnier than he did.