Baritone Puns

A-low-ha

Q: What’s does the polar bear sing in the choir?

A: Baritone

My band had a performance yesterday. We have three saxophone players. One of plays only Alto saxophone, one of them alternates between playing Alto, Tenor and Baritone saxophone and the last plays both Tenor and Baritone saxophone.

The second two kept swapping each other's instruments or one of the other saxophones they had in the background. So at one point we had to wait for them to change while the rest of us were all ready to start playing the next song.

So, trying to make it less awkward for the audience I turn to them and I says 'I'm sorry, they're just playing ... Musical Instruments'

There was a collective groan/laugh from the audience and the drummer went ba-dum-tish And the trumpeter gave me a little wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaah

I'm still giggling about it.

Setting: Dad found a ten-dollar bill (he thought it was a five) on the microwave and wanted to know if it was mine.

Dad: Is this your fiver?
Me: ...that's not a five.
Dad: Oh. Is this your tenner?
Me: No, I'm a baritone.

I found it much funnier than he did.

Background: my wife sleeps a lot in the summer. Since she's a teacher, she's off all summer. Sometimes for 12 hours (which we refer to as a 12er)

So I was telling her that I can take the night and morning shift to feed our newborn, so she could get at least a 10er. To which she said "maybe even a baritone"

She's so much better than me.