The bass player of Red Hot Chili Peppers opened a second hand store

They're calling it the Flea Market

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
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Asked my GF why she chose this salad over the drum and bass salad, she wants to disown me.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ribbers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
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I bought my son a Bass.

But Dad, I wanted a Ukulele.
Ah well, your Ukulele just passed puberty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdityaBiswabandhu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
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Just me playing the bass at Costco
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickeyslim
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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Bass bass
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TriggrHaps
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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I finally dropped the bass.

The other fisherman weren't too happy about it though.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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I had a bass joke but I guess I'll just drop it
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FBIagent67098
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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A rare sea bass has been spotted
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peyton_Tal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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Quick aside. If admiral ackbar contracted a minnow-scule amount of salmon-ella poisson-ing while tuna-ing his guitar on his carp-et, would he instead need to use his bass tonight?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joker-here
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Why does everyone like the guitar more than the bass?

It’s more of a BASSic instrument!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DirtyFuzeMain
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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*Bass*ball
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-----____---
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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Ordered some bass in a restaurant, but I had to return it because the fish they gave me was full of diarrhea

Sick bass turds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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If you take LSD by accident listen to some dubstep, bass will neutralize the acid

LSD is also known as acid, bass sounds same as base, in chemistry acid and base neutralize each other

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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I know. It’s not actually a bass guitar
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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Why don't bass players like dating guitar players?

Too much treble

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lauti197
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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Omg is a Bass Bass
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jgusbc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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I used to play the bass but I quit.

It was hard to get the fish smell off my hands.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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Bass
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abizer2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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Im really digging my bass
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invigibleman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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Explaining his stance on eating fish, he says that he’s fine with eating fish just not bass,

Because you should never go bass to mouth

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MildBanana
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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When they allowed the bass sheep into the barbershop quartet,

they set the baa low.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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Two bass drums and a symbol fall off of a cliff...

Ba-dum chhhhhhh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazycatlorde
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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I told my wife I had sax with my bass

She told me to guitar of the house

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RodrigoNOFX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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I went fishing and cought a few bass

But I had to throw them back because they were full of diarrhea.....Sick bass turds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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My band's bass player was difficult to find

But I have no bass-is for comparison

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingMidas99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2016
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Ad appeared in personal ads section.... Middle aged outdoors man, avid bass fisherman looking for like minded single woman with a bass boat....

Send picture of boat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manicmoose13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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Base? No, bass. imgur.com/a/ool8J
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anksil
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
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I low-key play bass
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jc123ucme
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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I needed more bass on my submarine, so I brought my dog with me.

He's a subwoofer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitokirizac
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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The bass notes in classical music give me a headache

My doctor says it's just lower Bach pain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2017
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I caught a lot of bass on my last fishing trip.

They weren't much treble to catch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jihoc1748
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
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I sing on a daily Bass-is

Out of 20 I’d say my singing level is like a tenor eleven.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObligatoryStory
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
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Darth Vader finds the rebels' secret bass
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jolindbe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
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I've always played the bass a bit flat

But it's nothing to fret about.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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I was going to make a bass joke

But i dropped it

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KappaKeppa
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2017
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My dad put Christmas lights on his double bass today...

The lights were weaving in and out between the strings, all over the fretboard, etc, rendering it temporarily unplayable. So I asked, "How are you going to play it now with the lights between the strings?" He replied with, "Carefully." Of course. "But the lights will stop the strings from being used properly!"

"Well, they'll just feel a little lighter then, won't they?"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deathbat6120
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2017
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The Rolling Stone’s jet hit a goose, killing the drummer and the bass player…

Killed two stones with one bird.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/comeonyea
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
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Bass Guitar imgur.com/K78dXjo
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XenobiaXD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2014
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My friend is a bass player

And man does he know how to tune a fish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
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Every single time we go to a restaurant with sea bass on the menu

my dad will ask the waiter if their sea bass is ill tempered. Here is a link to the scene from Austin Powers for anyone who doesn't know the line. Only two waiters have ever gotten the joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Etheril
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2013
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I play the marching bass drum. (xpost from /r/drumline)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cschmittiey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2014
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Apparently they're not all about that bass.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toatanu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2015
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Sea Bass

So I am staying in Germany with a host family. I know little German and we all went out for lunch. I was looking at the seafood section and I took forever in deciding what I wanted, going back and forth between the salmon and the sea bass. I finally decided on the sea bass, and we order our food.

So some restaurants in Germany are a lot more casual than American restaurants, and you sometimes seat yourself and the waiter/waitress will bring the silverware and napkins to you later. So when I saw the waiter bring over a plate with silverware and napkins on it, he placed it in front of me, to which I naturally said:

"Well, I could have sworn I ordered the sea bass."

My host family literally died laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallu309
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2014
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Told dad I'm going to buy a bass from my friend...

Mum: Does your friend know you want to buy it from him?

Me: Yeh he's holding onto it for me until I can afford it

Dad: His arms will be very tired by the time you can afford it.....

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trogadoney
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
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What do you call a set of stolen bass instruments?

Contraband.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVividReality
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2015
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contra-bass imgur.com/0JzjUI8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HenningBerge
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2014
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Dad jokes come with extra bass

parents are going to see an outdoor concert

Mom: Do you have your cooler packed?

Dad: (in bathroom) Yeah, I got my culo packed. [loud fart]

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbage_water
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2014
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Posted this yesterday to /r/bass... reddit.com/r/Bass/comment…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aquaneedle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2013
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