Soprano Puns

Tony Soprano: So your father tells me you’re taking up Astronomy in college.

Kevin Bonpensiero: No, business.

Tony Soprano: Well how come he keeps saying you’re taking up space in school?

Unfortunately, she was an alto and didn't make the cut.

The high C’s

They are good on the high seas.

The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.

But then I said, "FUHGEDDABOUDIT".

Gandalfini.

He loves to hit the high seas.

It was an unexpected Journey.

Soprano and Alto: Stop causing treble for other singers.

Bass singers: Stop bringing us down.

And remember our Grand Staff meeting next weekend... assuming we compose ourselves properly and no one gets a flat from something sharp on the way there.

Dad: "Hey, how's your rash?" Tony Soprano.

Me: What?

Dad: Get it? "Your-ash"

Dad: As in "your a--"

Me: Yeah I got it. Ha ha. Still hurts.

Dad: Should've fallen on your head

Me: I'll remember that next time.

Dad: No you wont

At a rehearsal for my choir, the director made some last minute changes to the standing arrangements. For a couple songs, we wouldn't be standing in the usual Soprano Alto Tenor Bass formation, but we'd we standing in a way that we were surrounded by people of different sections. As you can imagine, shifting around 4 rows of risers is a bit hectic, so I asked my friend where exactly I had to go.

He told me, "As long as you're mixed, it's okay."

A wave of dark intentions washed over my brain.

I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "But I'm Chinese".

It took him a full two seconds to register what I just said.

What in the actual fuck is happening to me right now?

"Somewhere, a snowman is singing soprano..."

She was telling she had to hang back after her tap class because "they needed a soprano for singing ensemble".

I said, "Why didn't they give Tony a call?"

So my dad was in a choir a long time ago and the sopranos were having trouble hitting a high a in one of the songs they were doing

The director says "alright i think we'll take a break and get back to that part"

Without a beat my dad responds "i guess that would be a Hiatus"

He still tells the story of the time he told the joke like 10 years later.

Tony Soprano: So your father tells me you're takin' up astronomy in college. Kevin Bompensiero: No, business. Tony Soprano: Well, how come he keeps sayin' you're takin' up space in school?

Tony: So your father tells me you’re taking up astronomy in college?

Kevin: No, business.

Tony: Well how come he (points to father) keeps saying you’re taking up space in school?

Dad: I heard you're studying astronomy in college? Kid: No, I'm studying business... Dad: Then how come I heard you've been takin up space in school?

Tony Soprano everybody