Soprano Puns

Unfortunately, she was an alto and didn't make the cut.

The high C’s

They are good on the high seas.

The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.

But then I said, "FUHGEDDABOUDIT".

Gandalfini.

He loves to hit the high seas.

Tony Soprano: So your father tells me you're takin' up astronomy in college. Kevin Bompensiero: No, business. Tony Soprano: Well, how come he keeps sayin' you're takin' up space in school?

Dad: I heard you're studying astronomy in college? Kid: No, I'm studying business... Dad: Then how come I heard you've been takin up space in school?

Tony Soprano everybody

Soprano and Alto: Stop causing treble for other singers.

Bass singers: Stop bringing us down.

And remember our Grand Staff meeting next weekend... assuming we compose ourselves properly and no one gets a flat from something sharp on the way there.

Dad: "Hey, how's your rash?" Tony Soprano.

Me: What?

Dad: Get it? "Your-ash"

Dad: As in "your a--"

Me: Yeah I got it. Ha ha. Still hurts.

Dad: Should've fallen on your head

Me: I'll remember that next time.

Dad: No you wont

At a rehearsal for my choir, the director made some last minute changes to the standing arrangements. For a couple songs, we wouldn't be standing in the usual Soprano Alto Tenor Bass formation, but we'd we standing in a way that we were surrounded by people of different sections. As you can imagine, shifting around 4 rows of risers is a bit hectic, so I asked my friend where exactly I had to go.

He told me, "As long as you're mixed, it's okay."

A wave of dark intentions washed over my brain.

I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "But I'm Chinese".

It took him a full two seconds to register what I just said.

What in the actual fuck is happening to me right now?

"Somewhere, a snowman is singing soprano..."

She was telling she had to hang back after her tap class because "they needed a soprano for singing ensemble".

I said, "Why didn't they give Tony a call?"

So my dad was in a choir a long time ago and the sopranos were having trouble hitting a high a in one of the songs they were doing

The director says "alright i think we'll take a break and get back to that part"

Without a beat my dad responds "i guess that would be a Hiatus"

He still tells the story of the time he told the joke like 10 years later.

Tony: So your father tells me you’re taking up astronomy in college?

Kevin: No, business.

Tony: Well how come he (points to father) keeps saying you’re taking up space in school?