Bass Baritone Puns

An opera singer with bandmates walks into a bar. They go up to the bartender, the bartender asks, would you like tuba a drink? The brass player says, yes a martini but I would like amelody slice on the glass. The bartender says, okay, baritone of you is getting it? The saxofone player says, him and meanwhile its tenorative but I'd like a few shots of soprano whiskey. The bartender pours the first two glasses. That'll be forte dollars, he says. The drummer says, I'll take a pint of your draft, is that key in hook to your keg? The bartender says, yes but it's probably a little flat. The drummer says, then can you symb it down a little? The bartender says, probably just a quarter and it's only going to be eighth full so just hold on a beat. The singer says, okay but will it still be clearinet? The bartender says, okay theres too many of you just put your call in a note and I'll refrain to it later. The japanese guy says, just be conductive or I'm gong to the next bar. The bartender says, listen.... You need to settle your sax. The singer breaks their glass as the bartender hands it to them and says, pause. You are in treble. The bartender just about blows all the kegs off the bass and starts to scream. The composer walks in late and wonders what all the mess is. He says, you fools better not have gotten any drinks in your woodwinds, they'll get stuccato the place now! Then the bassoon and cello players march out, as a string of police cars roll into the parking lot. They yell to the others as they start to run, this is not what I tuning fork!