A little moron and a big moron were shingling a steep roof when suddenly the scaffolding collapsed. They both slid down the roof and stopped at the very edge, and then one fell off. Which one?

The big moron. The other one was a little more on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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I was pulling my trailer over a steep hill and just as I started going downhill the trailer passed me and crashed at the bottom of the hill.

I guess it went down without a hitch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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A hearse is driving up a very steep street

A hearse is driving up a very steep street and once it gets near the top, the back door opens up and the coffin comes shooting out of the hearse and rolls down the street.

People are diving out of the way, cars are swerving, it’s chaos! By the time it reaches the bottom of the hill it has picked up a lot of speed and crashes into a wall surrounded by people.

The door pops open, the body sits up and says β€œDo you have anything to stop this coughin?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/countryroads8484
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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I saw a cyclist riding close to a steep cliff. He hit some gravel and veered away from the road toward the precipice. At the last minute he saved himself by jumping from his bike.

For a moment, I thought he was gone with the Schwinn.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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A cyclist is struggling up a long steep hill

A cyclist is struggling up a long steep hill on his bike, when he is met by a good Samaritan in a car. The guy offers him a long rope to tow him up the hill and the cyclist gratefully accepts. By the time they get to the top of the hill, the guy driving forgets he is towing the cyclist and heads on to the highway, with the poor cyclist ringing his bell in vain. In the meantime, a couple see them drive past their car on the highway and the wife turns to her husband:

"Wow, that car's going pretty fast, isn't it?" The husband replies, "the car?! Look at the cyclist behind him! He's going so fast he's ringing the bell to get the car to move out of the way!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wildlumpfish
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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How do you describe a steep joke?

Hill-arious

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neudeu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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What do you steep while in self-isolation?

A quaran-tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cehrei
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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Overbrewing tea has a steep penalty.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lazy-aubergine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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The doctor's price for my vasectomy was a bit steep for me, but my offer was too low for him.

In the end we split the deferens.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnochChell
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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A geologist asked me if I like extremely high, steep hills with a flat top. I said yeah

I like big buttes and I cannot lie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BearGuru
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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theres 2 ways to get onto the roof of your house a rope or a structure of steep steps.

i think the easier one is the ladder of the 2

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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicgamer927
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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After not exercising for years, I went to a gym and put it on a steep setting.

My friend was inclined to say it was a bad idea but I decided what the hill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconShrimpEyes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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Did you hear the joke about the koala bear who preferred to steep its eucalyptus leaves in water instead of eating them?

It's a koala tea joke.

(Variation of other koala jokes I've heard).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVaccinator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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I'd really like to get a whole new lease on life, but the intrest rate is just too steep now-a-days...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weed_Whacker22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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I think this is a little steep.. luxist.com/2009/09/28/the…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AceFitz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2014
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I was thinking of buying some tea, but the price was too steep.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/commondear
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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If you steep an innocent fish in hot water...

does it become gill tea?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jchazu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2013
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Today while on a steep upslope during a hike my son was walking up the shale rock beside the path with some difficulty. In frustration he shouted, "Why am I doing this?" And I responded...

"Well, recently didn't you say you wanted to live a bolder life?" Zing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2016
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The other day I drank a new kind of tea that is made by steeping a book in hot water.

Probably won't have it again. It was just a novelty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chapothedog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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Two lawyers were comparing clients.

The first one claims his client is trapped in a penny. Answering the second lawyer's confused look, he says, "My client is in a cent."

the second lawyer nods, then says, "Well. My client is a fish head steeped in hot water. You could say he's gill tea."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICWhatsNUrP
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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I opened a place that sells Dad Joke inspired drinks...

...you could say they’re my SpecialTea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattTheKat86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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I considered buying miniature teabags

But they were a little steep

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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So the travel agency said I could climb Mt. Everest and it would only cost $100,000.

I said no thanks, that's a bit too steep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flazdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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I can't tell if my tea is too strong or too expensive

Either way, it's steep

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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Why didn't Dad buy the tea?

The price was too steep.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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The prices of tea bags in my city have skyrocketed!

They're to steep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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My job at the tea shop required 12 months of training

There’s a steep learning curve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MewThree1416
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Barista1: "A customer just complained that their tea was too watery"

Barista2: "Did they leave the bag in long enough?"

Me: "Seems like they had steep consequences."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wiznaibus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Wanted to measure my height with a tape measure but couldn't do it alone. "Dad, can I borrow you for a minute?"

"Sure, as long as you give me back"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinie_Snipah
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2014
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Wife: Why are teapots so expensive?

Me: BECAUSE THEY MAKE YOU POUR!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dogintheface
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2016
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If you get tea for free, but have to make it yourself

it’s a steep price to pay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/remusboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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A bit of teasing...

100% True story. I was starting a new job at a software company and was talking to one of my coworkers who has many varieties of tea.

Me: That's a lot of tea you got there.

Him: Yeah, I'll let you sample one. Only $50.

Me: But isn't that a little steep?

Edit: Stupid phone formatting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HSLilAce
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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What did the colonist say at the Boston Tea Party?

The price is too steep!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Dad-joked my tea-drinking coworker.

Coworker was putting fresh water in her tea, which was too strong for her.

Me: Soooo...if you were to chart the level of flavor in tea vs. the amount of time you left the bag in the cup, would you end up with a steep curve?

Coworker: Stare

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blindfire40
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2014
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Expensive beverages

I just saw this guy pay $1,000 for a beverage steeped in footware by a leather-wearing, mohawked, heavily-pierced man in a dark, narrow, side-street.

I guess he really values punk-shoe-alley-tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jabonko
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2015
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Can someone explain this pun to me?

I was going to buy some loose tea, but the price was too steep.

I have no idea what this means.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/explainthispun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2013
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Learning how to brew a new kind of tea...

involves a steep learning curve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoundTrax
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2016
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A compass, a cough drop, and a match.

As a Boy Scout, we would camp a lot and go on hikes.

One night, we had to do a night hike, alone, for a merit badge. I had left the campsite about an hour earlier and a terrible storm rolled in. The sky opened up and the ground was quickly saturated. I tried to continue my hike for another few minutes, but it got cold and I was chilled and soaked to the bone, so I decided to try to head back to camp.

Lightning was starting to crackle above me, so I thought I should try to take a shortcut to make my hike back quicker. I pulled out my compass and found my direction, but the rain made it impossible to see more than five feet in front of me.

I was looking down at my compass, not paying any attention to where I was going, and suddenly felt weightless. The feeling didn't last long as I thumped down on slippery earth a second later.

I had fallen onto a ledge on the side of a rather steep cliff, the bottom of which was at least fifty feet down.

I sat there, contemplating on how to get back up this cliff as water rolled over the edge ten feet above me. There was nothing to grab onto to pull myself up. I was stuck there.

After a few minutes, I noticed the little ledge I was standing on was slowly getting smaller. The water was coming down so hard it was eroding the tiny bit of safety I had.

I dug through my pockets, thinking maybe I had something, anything, to help me out of my precarious situation. All I had was my compass, a cough drop, and a match. I was screwed.

So, I sat there, watching the edge of the ledge I was on get closer and closer to my feet, when suddenly I felt something pushing on my back.

I turned slightly and saw a wooden box sticking out of the cliff behind me. It was working its way out of the side, the rain surely helping it along. I tried to move away from it, but the ledge wasn't very wide and the box kept coming out, pushing me farther to the weak and failing edge.

As more of the box came out, to my horror, I realized it was a coffin! I had no idea how old it was, but it looked rather rotten. All I could think of was being pushed off this ledge, and the rotten coffin breaking and dropping a skeleton onto my broken and battered body at the bottom.

The coffin crept closer, my foot began to slip. I grabbed onto a root that was sticking out of the cliffside and dug in my pocket once more.

I hurriedly tore the wrapper off the cough drop and stuck it in my mouth. It stopped the coffin.

This joke has been told to me

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TipCleMurican
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2014
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Had a leak in the roof last week...

Me: "I can do it!" Wife: "We need a professional." Me:"But those roofers are always working some kind of angle, the work is protracted, and the cost is steep!" Wife:"Don't be obtuse."

She won.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blindfactotum
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
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I had a cup of tea in my hand when he said this:

Dad: Do you know why I don't drink tea?

Me: Why?

Dad: Because the prices are too steep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/susejdotcom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
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I'd like to get into making tea's

But I hear the learning curve is very steep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WakeskaterX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2017
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When you let your tea sit for too long

the price is steep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/undeadpie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2015
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Ever go to buy a friend a really nice tea-set...

... and realize the cost was too steep?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchAmToo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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I was getting breakfast with my roommate

I decided to order tea. A few minutes after the tea arrived at my table, my roommate accidentally knocked it over. He was apologizing profusely and I told him to sleep with one eye open, because the consequences for his actions will be steep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeCort2
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2016
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Got over charged at a hotdog stand

There was an extra zero on the bill, so it ended up being like 70 bucks. Called the customer service at my bank and threw this gem into the conversation :

"I mean I'm just ball parking, but $70 seems a little steep to be frank."

Cue dead silence on the line. I relish these moments.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/domuseid
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2014
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My girlfriend was talking about a set of teas

Me: "How much does it cost?"

Her: "iI's pretty expensive, it's $27."

Me: "Oh wow, that's pretty steep."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChemEngGuy10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
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Never heard of that show..

Driving down a steep hill with my dad.

he reads out loud a sign that says "WATCH DOWNHILL SPEED"

"hm.. i've never heard of that show."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SCV_JARHEAD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2014
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Dense dad

The glass had two different colored layers.

Me: " Hey check out the tea I"m steeping"

Dad: "It must have different dense-i-teas"

Stressed exactly like you think it sounds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eabigyear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2015
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