Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
My dog has learned out to use the TV remote...
All she does is paws and unpaws.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
So I recently learned about AI
It's absolutely game changing
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︎ Jan 14 2021
I learned lock-picking at an early age
It has opened many doors for me.
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︎ Jan 12 2021
I told my teacher I learned a new word, Plentiful
She said βcongrats!β
I replied βthanks, it means a lotβ
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I recently learned sign language
Now I'll tell jokes that nobody has ever heard
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︎ Nov 24 2020
I just learned Meek Mill's real name.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
I learned about these people in history class last month I feel smart
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︎ Nov 11 2020
If I only learned one thing from my book of clicheβs it was
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︎ Nov 22 2020
I learned my jokes from my dad, who learned them from his father before him.
You could say I was grandfathered in.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
What do you call a cow that has just learned to drive?
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︎ Nov 21 2020
I've learned to NEVER trust an atom
... because they make up everything!!!
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︎ Dec 03 2020
If thereβs one thing I learned over the years, its thisβ¦
When your wife starts a conversation with βCorrect me if Iβm wrongβ¦β you just smile and agree. Donβt correct her, itβs a trap.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Today i learned about foot fungus
Talk about tripping on shrooms!
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︎ Nov 11 2020
I learned pregnant horses are faster than other female horses
They have double the horsepower
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︎ Nov 23 2020
What do you call the time period between the Bronze and Iron Ages where humans learned to cure meat?
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︎ Oct 24 2020
I just learned the medical name for Viagra
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︎ Oct 06 2020
I learned something very shocking today about my mom and dad
They are both palindromes π±
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︎ Nov 23 2020
Only this morning I learned my high end toaster isn't waterproof
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︎ Oct 03 2020
Studying Chemistry at the moment, I just learned that Sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..
..It's an oxidant waiting to happen.
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︎ Aug 19 2020
I just learned how the penny press at the mint works.
It makes cents if you think about it.
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︎ Oct 05 2020
The only thing I learned in high school was how to multiply...
and I have eleven kids to prove it.
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Any time I ask my dad how he learned Braille, he refuses to give me a straight answer.
For him, itβs a touchy subject.
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︎ Jul 15 2020
I just learned that they're giving away soda in the Swiss mountains.
Apparently there's a guy up there just shouting, "Freeeee Colaaaaa"
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︎ Sep 02 2020
Today I learned the history of Benadryl.
Turns out it used to be a drill.
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Today I learned my son hates r/DadJokes. He's been spat on, punched, and verbally abused for his own opinion...
I don't even want to imagine what'll happen when he leaves the house.
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︎ Aug 03 2020
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
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︎ Aug 03 2020
My kids learned if you don't keep vermin out of your garden, you produce more rabbits than vegetables;
it's a problem called ingrown hares.
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Today I learned that the band Nirvana sold its own brand of gum.
It was called Smells Like Green Spearmint.
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︎ Apr 29 2020
Today I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.....
And I gotta say that's true because I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey
EDIT: Thanks kind stranger for the gold!!
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︎ Jun 23 2019
When I was a kid I learned how to throw a boomerang.
I tried it again last week and couldn't remember how it worked, but after a few throws it started coming back to me.
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︎ May 31 2020
My kid asked today where I learned to make ice-cream
I answered 'in sundae school', he laugh-snorted, my wife gave me the look we all know here.
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︎ Feb 16 2020
Today I learned I will assume my final form and will he becoming a dad in December.
Probably name my kid Luke so I can remind him who I am for the rest of eternity.
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︎ Apr 14 2020
I learned how to draw an isometric the other day, but it didnβt work out.
I tried coming at it from a different angle, but it looked really sketchy
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︎ Jun 08 2020
I learned the name of Baby Yoda's mother...
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︎ Dec 03 2019
This just happened: I explained to my 11 year-old niece that wheat pennies are/were a thing. She didnβt believe me, so she looked it up on grandmaβs phone. To our surprise, we learned that there are some people selling wheat pennies online for *thousands* to *TENS* *of* *thousands* of dollars.
To which I said, βThat doesnβt make cents.β
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︎ Jun 08 2020
I just learned that now we have to social-distance at the beach and mark a 6-foot perimeter!
Well, I'm drawing a line in the sand.
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︎ Jun 05 2020
I just learned that I've got superpowers yesterday
Today i will make you read
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︎ Jun 14 2020
So i just learned how to fall down stairs
Step 1, find stairs
Step 2
Step 6
Step 11
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︎ Apr 17 2020
Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams...
One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.
His wife answered the door.
"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."
"That much?"
"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."
"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.
"Sorry..." she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."
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︎ Apr 29 2020
Today I learned: The writer Stephen King has a son named Joe.
Iβm not joking, but he is.
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︎ Oct 09 2018
If youβve never learned the history of Mount Rushmore before it was carved...
... itβs natural beauty was unpresidented.
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︎ May 29 2020
I learned how to make ice cream the other day.
I guess that time at sundae school paid off...
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︎ Feb 12 2020
Today I learned what happened to Marie Antoinetteβs head!
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︎ Apr 09 2020
Today I learned Tessarakontadyochilexintaphobia is the fear of the number 42069.
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︎ Apr 23 2020
A couple of years ago I learned how to lock pick and it's opened up so many doors for me.
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︎ Feb 14 2020
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