I was really bored, so I decided to memorize 6 pages of the dictionary.

I learned Next to Nothing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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I'm disappointed this Bible for the blind isn't called "The Holy Braille"
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cornelius____
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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So far I've memorized seven pages of this dictionary;

I've learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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When I was a child, I had trouble memorizing multiplication tables.

Times were difficult.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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"Ho, ho, ho," the jolly bastard mused, unaware I'd been slinking in the shadows for days, ready to unleash my revenge. I'd memorized his patterns, followed his every move, and had set the perfect trap. Down the chimney, ensnared by my noose, and left hanging above the fireplace; I got what I wanted.

A Christmas stalking.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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Why are pirates terrible at memorizing the alphabet?

Because they spend years at C

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schneef_Jerky
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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I've memorized all the digits of pi

Just not in order

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimelapseChef
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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What do you call really un-memorable pasta?

Forgetti

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattyR1237
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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As a reporter, I've done quite a few odd assignments. One especially memorable assignment was to report on the barefoot ginger convention.

Over 2,000 gingers showed up and there wasn't a sole to be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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I memorized all of the proverbs as quickly as possible.

After all, better early than never.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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What is the key thing to ensure a wonderful, memorable Thanksgiving?

The tur key.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/janus10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
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Can a dyslexic wizard spell?
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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My dad memorized this palindrome.

Are we not pure? β€œNo sir!” Panama’s moody Noriega brags. β€œIt is garbage!” Irony dooms a man; a prisoner up to new era.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThUltimateGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2017
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What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long

A Ο€-thon

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/9swx4t/math_joke/

πŸ‘︎ 395
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lorhill
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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My dad's most memorable joke.

Dad: "Want to hear a dirty joke?" Me: Sure.. Dad "Johnny fell into the mud" Me: /facepalm

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neverbennsoinlove
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2013
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I know all of the digits of pi...

I just cannae remember the order.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TodaysLucky10K
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Most memorable dadjoke- My friend's dad a few years ago

It was my friend's 15th birthday and for his party his dad drove a bunch of his mates to the local aquatic centre. On the way there he started asking us what we'd been doing with our time and we told him about the band we'd just formed.

We went through each of our band members and what each of us played. Finally got to our last member (who was renowned for being very clumsy and a bit of a class clown) and told him that he played bass. His reply?

"Huh, I thought he'd be playing the fool"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garythegyarados
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
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I just slept on a memory foam mattress for the first time

it made a great first impression.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxbrickem
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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[request] my wife will be going into labor soon.

Would you guys be willing to please give me some fantastic puns/dad jokes for the delivery room to make the occasion extra memorable? Thanks in advance.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supergnaw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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I dadjoked my students today, pretty proud of it actually.

I am a teacher, I teach history first semester and economics second semester.

One student was upset about having so many graphs to understand and learn how to use.

St: I'm ok with memorizing everything about history, I'm ok figuring out how wars started and ended, but graphs...

Me: graphs is where you draw the line huh?

A five on the sighsmograph. Beautiful!

Edit: spelling

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sal6a
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2015
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What type of fruit cannot get married in Las Vegas?

Cantaloupe.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minotard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2016
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A man is driving along a back road at night

His car crashes into a tree, and he escapes unhurt though his car is badly damaged. However, he needs to find somewhere to stay overnight. The man wanders alnog the road until he comes across a monastery. He knocks on the door, and a friendly monk answers.

Man: I've crashed my car and need a place to stay tonight, might I have one of your rooms?

Monk: of course, come right this way.

The monk shows the man to a room, and the man goes to sleep. At midnight, the man is awoken by a loud thumping on the ceiling. He thinks nothing of it and goes to bed, sleeping soundly the rest of the night.

The next day at breakfast he asks one of the monks about the thumping. The monk replies,"sorry, I can't tell you you aren't a monk". The man figures that that's a pretty fair response, and goes to try and fix his car.

After working on the car all day, the man returns to the monastery and asks to stay another night. The monks of course oblige, and the man goes back to the same room. This night, he is awakened by the same thumping, this time even louder. He wonders about it and eventually drifts off to sleep.

The next day, the man continues to work on the car, and needs to stay just one more night to complete it. The monks are happy to give him a room, but the man asks to me moved to a different room so he won't hear the thumping. The man goes to bed but is awakened by even louder thumping.

He decides to go investigate, and climbs the stairs, only to find a locked iron door, with the thumping coming from behind it. Unsatisfied, he goes back to bed.

The next morning, he asks the lead monk about the thumping. The lead monk replies,"sorry, can't tell you you aren't a monk". The man, filled with curiosity, asks the leader how to become a monk. The leader gives him 3 tasks: the first, to circumnavigate the globe, to learn about culture, the second task, to cut an entire field with scissors to learn patience, and the third, to memorize the entire monk book, to learn discipline.

The man completes all the tasks, and the leader takes him up to the iron door and pulls out a key. He opens the door to reveal the Monk's greatest secret.

If you're wondering what it is, I'm sorry, I can't tell you, you aren't a monk.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clutchdanger11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?

Rap.

Cheesy for sure but a random older gentleman told me this joke while I was walking around Seattle on a recent trip. Made the day pretty memorable!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CeruleanStarlite
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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One hit wonder

I wonder if the person who coined the phrase β€œone hit wonder” ever said anything else memorable

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beaverhick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewritenick
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2011
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Science joke build up

I work as a salesman in a call center. We were going over some of the more interesting names we’ve seen and called. Without disclosing the last name my neighbor said oh, you haven’t heard of β€œCytoplasm XXXXXXX”? I answered. The guy is a computer programmer who I’d imagine changed his name to that unless his parents are that cruel. I start rambling off β€œCytoplasm?? Of all the organelles in a eukaryotic cell to name yourself you pick cytoplasm?! What about Golgi apparatus, or endoplasmic reticulum?” My manager chimes in β€œwow you memorized a lot from bio” I told her I went to college for science shit but β€œnow here I am making phone calls as a professional, thanks college” to which my neighbor replies.... β€œI guess now you could say you’re a PROkaryote

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fly_MartinZ
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
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I think i got my english teacher pretty good

So today my english teacher was going to test how much vocab we memorized, for the SAT exam if you're wondering, and he asked one student how many did he memorize. The guy answered saying about 300. The teacher replied what can you do with just 300, And then i couldn't hold it and replied "A movie"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kakabroly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2015
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My dad seems to think the best time to pick on my boyfriends is at the dinner table...

Here are two of my dad's funniest (most memorable) moments while out to eat...

About five years ago, my ex-boyfriend and I went out for Valentine's Day with my parents. My mom and I were having a conversation about my brother's ex-fiancee when...

Ex: "Oh, so you guys don't like her?"

Dad: "No, but that's alright, we don't really like [K's] boyfriend all that much either."

Needless to say, it wasn't as funny at the time...

Then about a few months ago, with my current boyfriend, we went out to eat with some family friends. At the time, my boyfriend was employed at an A/C company doing Chinese drywall and was talking with two of the men employed in other construction trades.

Family Friend: "Don't get involved in concrete. Or Construction. Better yet, stay out of anything that begins with a C."

Dad (from the other side of the table): "You better stay out of anything that starts with a K, too."

It's even more ironic considering I happen to have one of those names that's commonly spelled with a C, but my parents decided to spell with a K. But as mortified as my boyfriend was, I have to give it to my dad, that one was pretty damn funny.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/22seaturtles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2013
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The meta dad joke

My college roommate's dad had a brilliant way of taking well-known jokes and butchering the punchlines. Could be fun when your kids are slightly older. A couple memorable examples:

  • A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender pours him a beer, and remarks that the wheel looks uncomfortable. The pirate replies, "Yar! It's steering me balls."
  • Two cannibals are having dinner. The first one says "my mother-in-law tastes awful." The other replies "then have some more potatoes."
  • How do you make a salad wrap? Just add drums!
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/penguinland
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2016
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Studying Civil War history when my dad decided to pitch in.

Me: I can't believe I have to memorize the entire Gettysburg Address by tomorrow.

Dad: Make sure you don't forget the zipcode!

Me: -_____-

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haycalon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2014
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Math dad joke

In honor of my twins birthday today...My mathematically inclined daughter decided to memorize the first 50 numbers of Pi. After she recited them after only twenty minutes of memorizing I told her "I guess memorizing the digits in Pi is a piece of cake for you!." Got a good grimace for that.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunnyAZ1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2014
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Geography with dad

Years ago, when I had to memorize the countries and capitals of the world for middle school social studies, my dad was helping me study. He tried to come up with a jingle, rhyme, or memory trick for all the ones I was having trouble with. His trick for remembering that Doha is the capital of Qatar was "Doha know how to play the Qatar?" (Don't you know how to play the guitar?). It was so hilariously bad that we still laugh about it whenever Qatar comes up in the news.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chasethelight
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2014
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So, i'm playing this RPG called "Learn Japanese to survive Hirigana battle!"

I tell you what, there's some memorable characters in it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zemtor
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2016
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Just got my SO while discussing if I should shave my beard

"..but I've grown attached to it"-Her

"I don't know, it seems pretty attached to me"- Me

My first memorable dadjoke. Feels good getting to that stage in a relationship.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skitzokid1189
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2015
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Dad joke from my law professor today

We were discussing Wong Sun v. U.s., and the defendants in that case included memorable names such as Johnny Yee, Hom Way, and Wong Son. After an inspired lecture, the professor concluded with

Professor: So let this be a lesson to you all, if you're in engaged in crime... you'll be putting yourself in Hom's Way

*commence class wide groan

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Pizza_Puncher
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
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I was really bored, so I decided to memorize six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pchardwareguy12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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I was so bored sitting at home that I memorized six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 971
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I’m so bored that I just memorized six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I was so bored over quarantine that I memorized 6 pages of the dictionary

I learned next to nothing

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superto3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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I was so bored that I memorized 6 pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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I was so bored that I memorized 6 pages of a dictionary

I learned next to nothing

πŸ‘︎ 135
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sexxc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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I was so bored I memorized six pages of a dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 210
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Prodosh-mittir
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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I got so bored that I memorized six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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