All Write! All Write! All Write!
It's called train training training training.
420 is too high.
It was full of useful pointers.
It was counter intuitive.
I walk kinda funny now but my farts smell great!
He said "I'm blue, dab a D, dab a dye".
It's left me scratching my head to be honest.
Well, it is invalid as I was sitting.
What are the chances?
Yell "ow"
Teacher: -So, add sunflower oil and stir
Me: -Hmm, I didn't quite understand that. I guess I'll ketchup later!
If you have ever put together a new BBQ, you know how bad the instructions can be. Yesterday, my wife and I struggled through the horrible task. When we finally figured out the last complicated step, I exclaimed “Yes! Now we’re cooking with gas.”
She actually smiled at that one, which is rare when I make Dad jokes.
It was easier said then done.
People lined up for blocks
Where there's a will, there's a whey.
Haha, I made you smile.
But I'm not tired at all.
I didn’t know what to make of it
I love it when food comes with instructions.
Most of what I say to patients is ingest.
But the instructions just say ‘You know the rules, and so do I”
An AlGoreRithm
Step 1.
If it ain't baroque, don't fix it
I can barely walk, but every time I fart the room smells great!
There once was this fella was born with a silver screw in his belly button. His parents, and later himself, searched far and wide trying to find someone that knew how this happened and how to remove it. As he grew older he cared less and less about the "how" and more about the removal. One day in his never-ending search he encountered a wizened woman who said that she knew of a place where you could go and a mysterious force would be able to remove the screw. But, before she provided the location she asked him if this was REALLY something he wanted done and if he knew all the consequences of his desire. The man hastily said that he was 10000% sure and more than well informed of the consequences. So, she gave him the location of the cave and the instructions on how to gain the help of the mysterious force. He was to go to the cave and sleep nude in the cave over night and by the morning his request would be fulfilled. He made his way to the spot with all due haste and followed the instructions to the letter. He did this and fell into a sound sleep. During the night a heavy fog rolled into the cave and a shining silver screwdriver floated into the cave with it. It floated down to the man and gently removed the screw. When the man woke up in the morning and saw the screw on the ground beside him he quickly reached down and felt his belly button. The screw was gone! He sprung up with great joy but the minute he landed after his leap of joy his butt fell off. He froze in horror and started to scream "Why did my butt fall off?" over and over.
The moral of the story is "Don't mess with things you don't understand or you will lose your butt."
“Make queso, number one.”
Teacher: “So I want everyone to understand that a dead body isn’t disgusting, and we need to be able to handle it and always be observant at all times when dealing with one”
The teacher has everyone turn their body over
Teacher: “Now I want you all to stick your finger in it’s ass and hold it in there for a moment”
all of the students do as instructed, hesitant at first
Teacher: “Okay, now go ahead and pull your finger out and then put a finger in your mouth like I do”
The students getting a little disgusted by that request REALLY hesitated at first, but eventually they all did as he asked
As the teacher has all of his students with their finger in their mouth, he tells the class, “now see it’s not disgusting if you did it right...if you put your index finger in the ass, and put your middle finger in your mouth like I did, you have just passed my class”.
With minimal observance, and a dead silent room...not one student passed the pop quiz
He must be too dense.
It was a PowerPoint presentation.
Me: I didn't realize you had more than one pair.
"You just follow the instructions."
"Which instructions?"
"Yeah, they're the ones."
...isn't that book the hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy?
"Hans, simmer."
It was really hands on work.
It left me scratching my head.
It hurt like hell, but my farts smell great.
I can barely walk but my farts smell lovely.
It hurts to walk now but my farts smell great!
...I mean, what are the chances?!
