Hometwerk
I said, “Boycott?”
Him: That’s what I mean.
Instagram.
They both mean allot to me.
A pop quiz!
"William."
I guess you could say they're transparent.
He said “He’s delighted to be the bo selecta”
However.
When I glanced over the assignment , I noticed one of the problems was missing.
I waved down the teacher, and he came over and said, "Everything looking good?"
I said, "I don't see a problem here."
He looked at me and said, "Great!" and walked away.
Transparent.
Oooops. Wrong USB.
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
Which witch would watch which watch?
Her joke: “I’m going to turn 9 on Wednesday. It’s going to be quite a birthday”
Hi going to turn 9 on Wednesday. It’s going to be quite a birthday. I’m Dad.
His professor asked him to discus it.
All Write! All Write! All Write!
Over 2,000 gingers showed up and there wasn't a sole to be seen.
10C
I got an A on my origami assignment when I turned my paper into my teacher
My homework ate my dog.
I don’t need this shit.
It would be a piece of cake!
She gave zero F’s.
Or maybe I’m just jumping to a conclusion.
The ancient Greeks greatly feared volcanic explosions from Mt. Olympus, so they developed a tradition of sacrificing young maidens to the Gods on the mountain. Every year they selected five girls, and sacrificed four. Then they assigned the other one to stomp the olive harvest. That’s where we get Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
I'm a faux pa
They're all just essays
Hello there,
I am doing a science project on cleaning products and I need a catchy title, so I figured I would go with a pun. The problem is, I can't think of one! If you guys could help me think of a one-liner pun involving somethng cleaning related, I would be very grateful!
Thanks.
It's an air-rested development.
Love, Dad
He told me I was to discuss ting
It's a rough beet.
... Lads, I almost lost the plot.
"T-o-d-a-y" apparently wasn't the response she was looking for.
It was the end of the class, we were talking about due assignments (Master thesis prep group, cuz iamverysmart). Things were getting a bit informal, when one of my fellow students asked:
"When do we get our graded paper back?"
to which I loudly yelled:
"I'd like a hardcover!"
Some snorted, some didn't understand it, but the overarching sound I heard was loud groaning. Worth.
Are we all on the same page?
I am looking for some sort or plant/gardening puns from famous song lyrics for a class assignment such as:
You can grow your own way
-or-
Don't grow so close to me
Any help?
He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.
"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."
The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.
"Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."
The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.
"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."
The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.
"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"
The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."
Friend: "Ugh! I have so much homework tonight! And the worst part is that it's all in English!"
Me: "Thank goodness, because I was worried it would all be in Chinese, and then you couldn't do it."
Have him turn paper over for no apparent reason.
He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.
"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."
The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.
"Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."
The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.
"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."
The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.
"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"
The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."
