My daughter is learning how to write numbers...
She said to my wife, βMommy, I donβt remember how to do a 2.β
So I yelled out, βYou just sit on the potty and push!β
They both ignored me. So now you all get to appreciate my joke instead.
π︎ 993
π
︎ May 18 2021
I spent years learning how to make a belt out of watches.
Everyone said that's a waist of the time.
π︎ 9
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︎ May 28 2021
Shaquille OβNeal got PTSD when learning how to play the drums
It happened every time he tried to do a rim shot.
π︎ 3
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︎ May 17 2021
I've been learning to moonwalk during lockdown.
I made some progress initially, but lately it just feels like I'm going backwards
π︎ 45
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︎ Mar 22 2021
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
π︎ 382
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︎ Nov 28 2020
It must be my lucky day! I found a plant that says it supports learning about a son of Norseman Erik the Red!
Yep. I found a for-Leif clover!
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 19 2021
When I first started learning how to drive, I used to be afraid of speed bumps.
But slowly, I got over it.
π︎ 15
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︎ Jan 26 2021
When I was first learning Photoshop I got a bit creative. I could hear my friends roll their eyes.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Catholic priests were forbidden from learning math until the 20th century
Before that it was a cardinal Sin
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 12 2021
Just got an epic eye roll for this: My son was showing me his school work from math, where he was learning fractions. I pointed to where he wrote his name on a line at the top and asked what that fraction was.
I told him it should be {Sons Name} / Mommy. Since he came from her.
Then I said he could reduce that fraction further since he came from his mommy, that fraction would equal....
One Whole
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 20 2021
Repetition is the Mother of learning.
So who's the father?
Daddycation.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
My sonβs learning about Buddhism in school, so when heβs around I make Nirvana jokes
π︎ 17
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Iβm currently learning sign language.
I want to tell jokes that people have never heard!
(Sorry if this joke has been done, just heard it for the first time from a coworker and wanted to share.)
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 25 2020
My 6 yr old son learning math: βDad, whatβs infinity plus infinity?β
Me: βIβm not sure, what is it?β
Son: βTwo infinity...and beyond!β
π︎ 15
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Most people told me learning sign language was a waste of time
But I find it to be a pretty handy skill
π︎ 23
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︎ Nov 27 2020
My children are learning quickly...
Yesterday my daughter balanced a bottle of Poland Springs on her head and then exclaimed, βHelp Daddy! I canβt breathe underwater!!"
π︎ 23
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Scientists have discovered that bees are learning to conserve energy by gliding on the air...
They think they're evolving into frisbees.
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Shakespeare, learning mandarin
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 08 2020
I had a hard time learning about the American Revolution.
It made my head go round and round.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
Why do butchers have difficulty learning other languages?
Because they kept butchering the words
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
when all you have in mind while learning chemistry is about making puns
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 25 2020
Why do midwives never stop learning?
They think there's always womb for improvement.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 08 2020
My 7 year old son is remote learning and I walked into the room to find him logged into his class with his back facing the computer screen. I asked, βwhat are you doing?β
He said, βIβm back to school!β
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 03 2020
My English is good. But after learning about comparatives,
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
My friend was learning Russian very fast
I told him to stop Russian about
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
Recently, i started learning Spanish
But i can't hola long conversation
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
Learning to Ballet dance
That'll keep you on your toes
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
I tried learning brail recently..
I stopped because I wasnt feeling it.
π︎ 59
π
︎ Apr 06 2020
My dad is learning to play guitar
π︎ 1k
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︎ Feb 10 2019
My son said his friend wanted to know about history but was hesitant about learning.
I told him that all it takes is... APUSH. (AP U.S History)
Sorry if this wasnβt as funny as it sounded in my head.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 09 2020
I move America last month and I'm still try to learning English
Teacher : Juan, create a sentence using the word "harmony"
Me: i tell my girlfriend that my money is harmony. We share everything together.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 27 2020
When Spider-Manβs twin children are learning to drive...
Theyβre parallel Parkers.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Jun 23 2020
Why do you need to be so careful if you're learning about hot air ballooning as a hobby?
It's easy to get carried away.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
I tried learning about all the different kinds of aircraft but I quickly found out girls didnβt like that basic personality trait
They thought I was such a plane guy
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
With so many places in lockdown, there have been more people than ever learning origami.
You might say interest has been in creasing
π︎ 53
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︎ Apr 19 2020
I am learning to cope with social distancing.
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 24 2020
My son is learning about proper nouns and he said that a proper noun is specific thing and a common noun isn't. He said an Ocean is a common noun and the Pacific is a proper noun.
I look him dead in the eye and say, "What a Pacific example you just gave"
π︎ 9
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︎ Apr 21 2020
My 4 year old son has been learning spanish all year and he still canβt say the word please.
Which i think is poor for four
π︎ 558
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
My four year old has been learning Spanish for a year, and he still canβt say βpleaseβ
I think thatβs poor for four
π︎ 178
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
Repetition is the Mother of learning.
So who's the father?
Daddycation.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
My four year old has been learning Spanish and still canβt say the word please.
Which I think is poor for four.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
During the quarantine, my 4 year old has been learning Spanish. Yet, he still canβt say please.
Which I think is poor for four.
π︎ 80
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︎ Jun 14 2020
My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word please.
Which I think is poor for four.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown.
He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.
π︎ 84
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︎ Jun 13 2020
My neighbours kid has been learning Spanish during lockdown.
He still canβt say βpleaseβ though, which I think is poor for four.
π︎ 14
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︎ Jun 14 2020
my 4 year old started learning Spanish, he still doesn't know what the Spanish for please is,
π︎ 9
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︎ Jun 26 2020
My 4-year old nephew has been learning Spanish since lockdown...
...he still can't say "please", though, which I think is "poor for four".
Edit: "Por favor" is Spanish for please. :)
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 19 2020
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