Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘︎ 296
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clairem2113
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.

I'm sure that must have been a record.

πŸ‘︎ 452
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Why should you always wear a condom when having sex with a member of the Dark Side?

You could catch Sythilis

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
🚨︎ report
85% of Muslims prefer their eggs Sunni side up.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gluecksschwuemmli
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy that got his left side cut off?

It's ok, he's all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ttocs77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who’s left side was cut off?

He’s all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 708
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ilovemom1098
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
I found a sack on the side of the road. I reached inside to see if I could figure out who it belonged to. I think it belonged to Santa.

I felt his presents.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rlchv70
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who lost the whole left side of his body?

He’s alright now.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Summer_Spring
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
When you see birds flying in a β€œv” shape, you’ll see more birds on one side than the other. Want to know why?

It’s because there are more birds on that side.

... I’ll see myself out.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/toasterpoodle
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.

That was the highlight of my day.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrisonMike1111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Lego piece that was 323 feet to a side? It was a huge tourist draw...

People were lined up around the block.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?

More geese on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gamerspoon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
A comedian would do a set, each show, where he sprinted to either side of the stage with his mouth tied up.

It was a running gag.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Peteman22
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side?

He's alright now.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PhantomSam2412
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
My husband walked into the proctologists office, and I knew then that the doctor must have a child as well when I heard the words from the other side of the door,

>Here comes the plane!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
Never go to a doctor who does standup comedy on the side.

He'll leave you in stitches.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prendrefeu
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.

Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
2020 was the year everything turned on its side...

now it’s a NONO

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/richy923
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
An beautiful woman orders a turkey sandwich at a deli, with pickles on the side. The guy behind the counter looks at her and says, "You like big pickles?" and winks. As he slides her a pastrami sandwich she looks at him, smiles, licks her lips and says

Wait, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 673
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He is all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MladjaLlama
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?

He’s all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/batmanshsu
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
Been noticing weird things with my neighbor lately. No idea why he shovels soil from his side, into mine.

The plot thickens

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reddit_user9901
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
When I woke up from a car accident in a full body cast my wife was right there at my side

To let me know that childbirth is still more painful.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NHl20-Fan
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side.

I mean, imagine all the peepholes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
When I was in the mafia I was working as a welder on the side, one day I accidentally welded two crucifixes together.

My boss is going to be so mad when he finds out about this double-cross.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
He wood've turned out great too, had he not turned to the other side
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i_like_miniwheats
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
My cousin got into a car accident and lost his entire left side, he kept saying he was all right but I didnt believe him so he just kept yelling at me.

'Stuff was completely one-sided

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Unspecified_bagel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
How many sides does a circle have?

Two: inside and outside.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Amphaboss
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams...

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answered the door.

"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."

"That much?"

"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."

"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.

"Sorry..." she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
Why did the snail paint a big red S on the side of his race car?

Because he wanted to hear everyone say "Look at that S car go!".

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lisajean1234
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?

The outside...

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Njvdwesth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine had a surgery to cut off his left side

He’s alright now!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wapoosh_a_Kill
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
If you look into the dark side

The dark side looks black.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OtsuKotsu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
I have a side business selling sexy T-Shirts.

The business name is Gig It T.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatGreenGobbo
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the guy who lost his left side? Yeah, he's all right now.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NaziMen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
Do you know why one side is longer when birds are flying in a V formation?

Because there’s more birds on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 138
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Philonic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
Spilled my side dish on me at a restaurant today.

I never slaw it coming.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SnixyZ
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

Hes all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RussiaIsMyCity
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
Welcome to the Dark Side
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YoungAnimater35
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
What do you call 2 horses side by side in a stable?

Neigh-bours.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
There are 4 sides to my brother’s personality.

That being said, the guy is pretty square.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
β€œBe careful!” My friend told me. β€œPeople in the UK drive on the left side of the road”

Thanks to him I guess I’ll be all right

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/raumerino
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
My "friend" pranked me by putting a dead bird on the driver's side seat of my car...

It was a lark.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
How many sides does a ball have?

2 sides, the inside and the outside

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nsamijo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who lost the left side of his body?

The doctor said he was all right, the nurse said there wasn't much left.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/he_need_some_malk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
When geese fly in a Vee, do you know why one side of the Vee is longer than the other?

There's more geese on that side

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/montero65
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
Why is the dark side of the moon dry?

Because the other side has all the moonshine

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gardeningnovice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Two farmers were talking. "Mate, why do all your sheep have those black stripes on their sides?"

" It's my new counting system, see that special collar on me dog, it's got a camera and it scans the sheep as the dog rounds them up. "

"Damn me, what'll they think of next? What's it called?"

"Baa codes mate"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
Here is a song dedicated to all them dads such inside resisting their wild side.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phildog2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
Boomer on the other side of the phone.
πŸ‘︎ 166
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/recoro06
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Went for a walk with my son and we saw a man on the side of the road yelling and swearing at his car. My son asked me what I thought the problem was...

I told him it was the car berater.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CSwork1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dark side Force user who can't fight?

A Sithy

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I-have-eaten-ass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
Did you ever notice when geese fly in a 'V', one side is longer? Want to know why?

There's more geese on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kpcent
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
Instead of going to the beach, many mathematicians are dividing the opposite side of a right triangle over the adjacent side

They say it's a better way to get a tan.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CyborgNumber42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Are you on Greg or Ian’s side?
πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lava3063
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Murray Christmas Everyone!!! (Side note- I don't take credit for this, but it's too great not to share)
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tchskippy25
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian!

πŸ‘︎ 159
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/victor_devito
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Good work on both sides
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moonrain1314
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do Norwegian warships have barcodes on the side?

Because when they return to port, they can.....

Scandinavian!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AusRoX123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
Why was musician's car parked on the side of a highway?

Because he got Ab

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rvvl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SmplFusuz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
On what side of the cargo ship do they load all the USB charging cables?

The Port side.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
There is a new found side effect of coronavirus.

It's lyme disease.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
Which side of a church do trees grow on?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AhSparaGus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
Did you know that on this day during the American Civil War, armies on both sides skipped breakfast?

They had to March first.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OneSidedDice
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call the bad side of Italy?

The spaghetto

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ethanholmes2001
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the meager bratwurst say to the superior side of roast beef?

What am I - chopped liver??

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullhead20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
The Dark Side (oc)
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FabioEGonzales
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a square missing a side

An incomplete meal

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/epicboi6
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
Why do the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/charliealphazulu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
Why did the videogame developer include a side quest about finding a lost mythical chin?

Well, that's good quest chin.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Myusernameisfish
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
Did you see the guy who lost the left side of his Body?

The nurse said there was not much left, but the doctor said he was alright.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/megaoof1200
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
Why does Norway's navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brizzo7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
Why do Norwegian boats have a barcode on the side

So they can Scan-di-navian

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fatboyonadiet4lyf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I can make a bed from both sides...

.... Because I am bed dextrous.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Madlutian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
Looks like this chicken likes her eggs sunny side up
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sine_nomine1859
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Are you talking about your aunt on your mom's side, or...

Deodorant?

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
Yesterday two astronauts got lost on the dark side of the moon. It was cold and scary, but

on the bright side they had a blast playing in the craters.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
What’s the best side of a lion to be on?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notaninfringement
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
When birds fly in a 'V' formation, why is one side always longer?

Because there's more birds in it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wc93
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.

"Sea, SeΓ±or," replied the Mexican.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlumeHound9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
Why is one side of a flock of geese V longer than the other?

It has more geese in it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/logic_daemon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
I got lost on the dark side of the moon the other day. It was cold and scary, but

on the bright side the craters were a lot of fun to explore!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
[A British Joke] I was wearing a T-Shirt with an anchor on it and my Dad put the letter 'W' on the left side of it

He then said that's what you are son

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently moved in with my rich dad to his house on the French country side. I’m afraid I’ll never be as successful as him and buy my own place.

I guess I’ll always live in my fathers chateau.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lukiiiiii
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy that got his left side cut off?

It's ok, he's all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ttocs77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He’s all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guyshu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/barelysentient-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can scandinavian

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeopardusMaximus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Which side of a chicken has more feathers?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Azeedx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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You know how when geese fly they fly in a V formation and one side is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is?

There are more geese on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesearejazzhands
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guyshu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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