Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side?

Yeah he's all right now

πŸ‘︎ 363
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdWide6476
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Aloe from the other side
πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrutzany
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who got his left side cut off?

He’s all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmnisVirLupis23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Why does Jesus stay on the other side of the road?

He’s afraid to get across

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards

I'm sure that must have been a record

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/custardy_cream
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Why does the norway navy have bar codes on the sides of its ships.

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 492
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πŸ‘€︎ u/worthrone11160606
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the side of the road ...

They charged her with littering!

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fredwardofox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Construction workers don't have side chicks

They have Back Hoes

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yatzhie04
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
You don't want to get on a tree's bad side.

It can get pretty shady.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
To the dank side, poetry leads
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S1ebenfinger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to the geometry store because I was looking to buy a shape with 4 or less sides...

But I couldn’t find any! They were all gons!!!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yesnojjj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
How many sides does a circle have?

2.....inside & outside

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the hospital say to the man with 100% of his left side missing?

The doctor says β€œHe’s alright” The nurse follows β€œThere’s nothing left!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-t-k
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
If you need to find the longest side of a moose
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Did I tell you guys about the side-hustle plan I came up with? I’m going to do personal training for the band that recorded β€˜Lola’ and β€˜You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...

I just have to work out a few Kinks.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
If you tilt a Q-tip on it's side, /r/Jokes/comments/mh26ew/…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwerpOfThunder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed

It just doesn't feel right.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clouc1223
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I lost vision on the left side

So now I look everyone right in the eye

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
If the Scottish and the Irish went to war, no matter the victor, both sides would have kilt it.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Woodyard801
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Ordering KFC, and I ask for a chicken wing. Cashier asks, β€œok sir, and which side?”

I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the right side.

Cashier: β€œsir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”

πŸ‘︎ 333
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
2 parts to a brain...The left side and a right side.

On the left side, there's nothing right.

On the right side, there's nothing left.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
The punny side of r/antimeme
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kanamuna24
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
As a rule of thumb ALWAYS have a squid on your side when you're in a fight

they're well armed

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bronzeaardvark
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend had the left side of his body ripped off in an accident.

But the doctor said he’ll be all right.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle_Bug_Music
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Which side of a dog has the most hair/fur?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpecOpsAlpha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side...

...so I crashed the car.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poop_Meister69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the chicken say to the duck at the side of the road?

DON'T, you'll never hear the end of it

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
My uncle was in a terrible accident, and lost the entire left side of his body.

He's all right, now.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
On which side does a tiger have the most stripes?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoolSharkPete
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the furriest side of a dog?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AusSpyder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
When geese fly in a V, why is one side of th V always longer than the other side?

There's more geese on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0cora86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.

My wife: Who did?

Me: Yep.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
On which side does the sheep have most wool?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tea-rrific
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I ran out of gas on the side of the road. Along comes a swarm of bees.

I was confused, but they seemed friendly. I told them what was going on, and they said: open the gas cap. One by one, each bee flew into the tank, and to my astonishment the gas gage went from empty to full. The bees said: start the car. So, I did and it ran. I asked them: what did you put in the tank? Bee pee.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Norway just made the decision to put QR codes on the side of all its war ships.

Now they can Scandinavian!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkornDoA
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
When migrating birds fly in the shape of a V, do you know why one side is always longer than the other?

That side has more birds.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I just saw two birds flying side by side into the courthouse.

I think they’re called β€œparaleagles.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwqewve
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I was playing a zombie game last night, and sliced off the left side of a zombie

It scared my wife pretty bad.

I assured her he’s all right.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaBear1718
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
How does a duck swim from one side of the pond to the other?

Very Quackly

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the guy that had the whole left side of his body amputated?

He's all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chuckie_Thunder
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the Norwegian Navy put bar codes on the sides of their ships?

So when they get back to port they can Scandinavian!

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDisneyDork
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a plan for a new side-hustle. I’m gonna do personal training for members of the band that recorded β€˜Lola’ and β€˜You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...

I just have to work out a few Kinks.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Why does Norway have barcodes on the sides of it's ships ?

So that when they come back to the port they can "scan-di-navian"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gp_11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report

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