From my 10-year-old: "Daddy, what has it's bottom at the top?"

"I don't know, bud, what?"

"Your legs."

Well done, kid.

👍︎ 15k
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👤︎ u/Papagayo_blanco
📅︎ Oct 01 2020
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I bought a roll on deodorant, the instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom"...

I walk kinda funny now but my farts smell great!

👍︎ 40
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👤︎ u/Toberoni
📅︎ Jan 02
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I found a knife at the bottom of my ornament box (no idea why) so I picked it up and announced “‘twas the knife before Christmas!”
👍︎ 12
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📅︎ Dec 13 2020
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Last night I dreamt I was in a swordfight with a knight, and he cut off the bottom part of my legs.

Sadly I was defeated.

👍︎ 30
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👤︎ u/kiltebeest
📅︎ Dec 10 2020
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If your in the bottom bunk of a bunk bed and someone's asleep in the top bunk,

Does that mean you're under a rest?

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/Br4ve_He4rt
📅︎ Dec 02 2020
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

👍︎ 27
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👤︎ u/lolyfe-dc
📅︎ Dec 06 2020
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I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office

It was a twerk place injury

👍︎ 60
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👤︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
📅︎ Nov 10 2020
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Hit rock bottom
👍︎ 86
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👤︎ u/WetCrap12e
📅︎ Sep 14 2020
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Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!

Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/darkstarman
📅︎ Oct 22 2020
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Somebody wrote a quote at the bottom of the pool.

It was deep.

👍︎ 55
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👤︎ u/shieldedtoad
📅︎ Aug 04 2020
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A man goes to the doctor, and says "doctor, I havent been peeing correctly and its painful". The doctor replies "I will have to perform a prostate exam." As the doctor examines the man, he pulls out an $100 bill out of his bottom. This continues, he keeps pulling out money from this man's bottom.

After about half an hour the doctor says..."You won't believe this, but i just pulled $1999 out of your bottom"

The man turns around and says "Yeah, I wasn't feeling 2 grand"

👍︎ 63
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👤︎ u/domheffo
📅︎ Aug 13 2020
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I finally found it .. Rock Bottom
👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/rocketshoe21
📅︎ Oct 09 2019
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I purchased a deodorant stick today. Instructions say, "remove cap and push up bottom."

I can hardly walk, but when I fart the room smells lovely. Credit: https://pun.me/pages/dad-jokes.php

👍︎ 87
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👤︎ u/BredSolid
📅︎ Aug 03 2020
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I was pulling my trailer over a steep hill and just as I started going downhill the trailer passed me and crashed at the bottom of the hill.

I guess it went down without a hitch

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/flippantteacup
📅︎ Sep 07 2020
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How does Harry Potter like to get to the bottom of a hill? Walking

J/K

Rolling

👍︎ 13
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👤︎ u/Gogo726
📅︎ Aug 10 2020
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Apple bottom jeans boots with the purr
👍︎ 71
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👤︎ u/RajuNeupane
📅︎ Mar 07 2020
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What has a bottom at its top?

A leg.

👍︎ 34
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jul 11 2020
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Here's how you know you've really hit rock bottom.

When you slap a marble statue on the butt

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/lfantine
📅︎ Jul 10 2020
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What do you call a boat at the bottom of the ocean that shivers?

A nervous wreck.

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/fl_ured
📅︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Rock bottom
👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/PM_THIS_NUMBERS
📅︎ Jun 05 2019
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Icarus had a lesser known brother. He wanted to swim to the bottom of the ocean.

Instead of wax, he used paraffin.

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/flylink63
📅︎ Jul 19 2020
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This is (practically) the corniest gift imaginable. At the bottom of the soon to be gift wrapped box of corniness was a pair of Korn tickets for my lady...who enjoys my corny puns.
👍︎ 23
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👤︎ u/Mr-JasonTe
📅︎ Jan 25 2020
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I recently met with my therapist at the bottom of the ocean.

We had a very deep talk.

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/sooblek
📅︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

A nervous wreck

👍︎ 18
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👤︎ u/Whymustudodat
📅︎ May 27 2020
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I just saw a ship builder hit a guy with a structure that runs along the center of a ship's bottom...

He keeled the other fellow just like that!

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Jun 21 2020
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Starting at the bottom
👍︎ 24
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👤︎ u/filthy_pikey
📅︎ Mar 19 2020
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Do you think anyone has ever slapped Dwayne Johnson on the butt and then proclaimed, "well I've hit rock bottom"

Edit: get consent people

"Mr. Rock, may I slap your behind for the sake of an amazing pun that the people will remember for years to come"

👍︎ 17k
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👤︎ u/asbestos_fingers
📅︎ Apr 11 2018
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I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...

With friends like that, who needs anemones?

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Apr 08 2020
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How did that guy end up at the bottom of the well in prison?

He felon

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/CoastalCon
📅︎ Mar 18 2020
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I bought a new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said "Remove cap and push up bottom"

It hurt like hell, but my farts smell great.

👍︎ 33
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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
📅︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a twitching boat at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/A-Fallen-Turtle
📅︎ Feb 23 2020
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If you discipline your Rock, does that mean you hit rock bottom?
👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/That_Guy2847
📅︎ Dec 13 2019
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In a new movie 007 must save us from a mad man intent on setting off an atomic bomb on the bottom of the Ocean

Nucleotide Bond

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/tjmaxal
📅︎ Feb 28 2020
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What did the staircase tell the man at the bottom?

I am many steps ahead of you.

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/votepledge
📅︎ Feb 10 2020
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I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said to remove cap and push up bottom.

I can barely walk but my farts smell lovely.

👍︎ 31
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👤︎ u/bryanBr
📅︎ Oct 06 2019
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For years I told my daughter she was 1/2 Human & 1/2 Mermaid ... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/HUMANPHILOSOPHER
📅︎ Mar 07 2017
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The lettuce at the bottom of our pan was frozen solid.

Coworker 1: Aw shucks looks like we got the wrong lettuce.

Coworker 2: What do you mean? It's the same lettuce we usually get.

Coworker 1: Nuh uh, this is clearly iceberg lettuce.

Badum tss

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Dec 14 2019
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This statement at the bottom of your Just-Eat receipt.
👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/CBSpyDoge
📅︎ Jun 21 2019
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I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office

It was a twerk place injury.

👍︎ 29
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👤︎ u/the_houser
📅︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck

👍︎ 304
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👤︎ u/howiewu0402
📅︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What has a bottom at the top?

Your legs.

👍︎ 71
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👤︎ u/lvrcerosis
📅︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches ?

A nervous wreck

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
📅︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

👍︎ 23
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👤︎ u/Aakshaj
📅︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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